Birds of a Feather Flock Together

"D-D-Did that crow up there just talk?" Daichi's pointed finger was shaking like mad.

A black bird in the branches above commenced another coughing fit until it was literally wheezing. More leaves descended below as the dying crow thrashed around, struggling to not keel over.

"Ummm, do you need some help?" Sanae said, walking underneath. "I can heal you with my magic—probably?"

"CAW! Forget magic!" the crow screeched. "I need results. And I need them now! CAW!"

Wait, was this bird serious? "So . . . you're our quest client?"

It groomed its feathers a little with its beak. "The info matches up. Weren't you guys looking for someone too?"

"Well, yeah?" Daichi replied. "But we were kinda expecting, like, a person?"

"CAW! I am a person!" it half-coughed again.

Sanae had been standing idly by as her stern eyes peered above. Then she turned back towards Daichi.

"He's legit," she said. "Look at his Playercard."

"Playercard?" Daichi focused in on the crow perched overhead. Sure enough, the usual pop-up appeared that detailed an Adventurer's info:

[Name: Crow

Level: N/A

Class: BIRD!]

"What, never seen a fella' as hot as me?" Crow said. "I got a girlfriend, you know? CAW!"

Daichi was still in too sheer disbelief to utter another sentence. All day, he'd been under the idea their lost client was an Adventurer or an NPC, but now it seemed actual birds could harbor Playercards? Or were they an Adventurer that could turn into animals? Maybe perhaps—

"I think I've heard of something like this before," Sanae said. She had on a deep, thinking face while she clasped her chin. "Adventurers being morphed into pets? But it's not usually of their own volition."

"Damn right, honey! CAW!" Crow spread his wings wide again, as if compensating for not having hands. "Me and my guild—we got cocky with having a Day One guy on our team! So we were stupid and tried challenging Dominatrix's Raid!"

"Dominatrix?" Daichi asked.

"She's the second strongest boss in Paradise," Sanae beside him replied, "behind Domination. Definitely not someone just any guild should take on, even with a Day One."

"CAW! Yeah! Our Day One died almost immediately! Same with the rest of our guild! But Dominatrix took pity on me and my girlfriend, and turned us into birds instead of killing us!"

"Can a Raid boss do that?" Daichi asked.

"Duh! CAW! I'm the living proof!"

A group of people strolling by behind looked towards the curious scene of two teens talking upwards to a tree. Daichi could only make an awkward smile as he gave them a little wave.

This is not sustainable! Not sustainable!

But Sanae didn't notice the passing group. She just kept up her inquisitive conversation with Crow.

"Dominatrix is a beast-master, right?" she asked. "So if she turned you into a bird, why would she just let you go?"

"Heck if I know! CAW! She can turn people into animals—keeps some of them as pets—let's the rest go! Fights with her favorites! Zoo kinda woman! CAW!"

"Well where's your girlfriend then?" Daichi asked. "Shouldn't she be with you?"

Crow's head peered around and then up towards the sky beyond branches. "She's probably flying around right now, waiting for the date to start. CAW!"

It took a bit for Daichi to process that last part. "I'm guessing she's another crow like yoursel—wait, what date?"

"Huh?" Crow sounded offended. He pointed his wing down as if it were an angry hand. "You and Sanae's date! What else would I mean? CAW!"

"Eh?" Sanae and Daichi said in disbelief. They looked at each other like they were trying to confirm hearing the same thing. It was already ridiculous enough a bird was talking, and now it was even assuming things.

"J-Just because I'm wearing this doesn't mean we're on a date," Sanae said, referring to the elegant Cleric robe she'd worn today. She'd also put more effort into styling her light-purple hair into cute waves that lapsed into curls. Combined with the locale of a romantic park, it was certainly plausible for misunderstandings to occur.

Daichi further clarified things. "We're just friends, haha. We share a guild so we're gonna try completing the quest together."

"CAW! Your date is the quest! Did you not read the instructions?"

"Instructions?" he reached into his robe and brought out the quest paper. Written in Mabel's handwriting were directions on where and when to meet, along with the client's name. There was also a brief quest description though details were vague at best.

"This is for like, a bodyguard mission, right?" Daichi asked. "And you specifically requested one man and one woman?"

"Bodyguard mission? I specifically demanded one boyfriend and his girlfriend! For them to go on a date together! CAW!"

"Let me see again." Sanae got up close to Daichi so she could read their quest paper again. But her eyes shouldn't have spotted anything different, and nothing indicated details about romance dates or lovers.

"Maybe there's been a mix up or something?" Daichi said. "This was sort of last minute—"

"No mix-ups!" Crow half-coughed. "Y'all match my info and I match yours, right? So what's this predicament we're in? CAW!"

Hmmm . . . Daichi unleashed all his brainpower to deduce their situation. Crow, the client, had found his retainers before they found him. Both parties had apparently received bad instructions on how to meet, and the retainers were completely misinformed of the true nature of their quest. Why?

But then Mabel's face poofed inside his head—the same girl who'd always had a playful but dignified personality. However, she'd been acting suspicious when she offered them their quest, and raised even more eyebrows when she seemed purposely vague with their quest details. If Crow requested a boyfriend and girlfriend for some date, yet Mabel said the client demanded one man and woman for a bodyguard mission, it would mostly likely point towards—

"Is something wrong, Daichi?" She'd noticed his rampant quivering and white face as he realized the crux of their dilemma.

"W-We've been tricked!" he exclaimed. "Tricked! Bamboozled! Outsmarted!"

"CAW! Make some sense, kid! What's got you yapping?"

"It's Mabel! It was Mabel all along!" His face was now half distressed and half amused. "She knew we wanted a quest! But there weren't any! Except Crow's! So she lied about the actual requirements so we'd accept the quest!"

"But why would she do that?" Sanae asked.

"Two birds, one stone!" Daichi said. "This way we get a quest, and she tricks us into going on a date together!"

"H-Huh?" Sanae took a few steps back in cute shock, as if recognizing Mabel's handiwork herself.

It's totally like her! It's totally like Mabel to pull something like this! Daichi continued panicking internally. Setting me up for a date with Sanae! By omitting the fact Crow requested a girlfriend and boyfriend, not just man and woman!

Somewhere, somehow, Mabel had probably just let loose a cute sneeze, wondering who was thinking of her. But she'd likely already imagined who.

"CAW! You two gotta worry about me now!" Crow squawked. "I'm dead meat if you're not actually together!"

The outlier—the third party that was just an unfortunate component of Mabel's subterfuge. Crow was Daichi and Sanae's last hope of escaping their embarrassing situation.

"Wait, why did you request some people go on a date anyway?" Sanae asked. She brushed aside a leaf that'd just fallen into her hair.

"Fiends! Gonna make me confess all my secrets, huh?" Crow said. "But fine, short story is: my girlfriend Raven is calling in a favor. Before we hooked up, I asked her to basically be a third wheel when I was on a date with another girl. CAW!"

"You were shy or something back then?" Daichi asked.

"Maybe! CAW! Anyway, my date with the other girl fell apart, but Raven was apparently into me so I hooked up with her instead! Now she wants revenge for making her be a third wheel—by asking me to be the third wheel on someone else's date!"

And the puzzle pieces continued falling into place. "So your quest request was basically just to tag along on someone else's date then?" Daichi said.

"Yes, genius!" He started another coughing fit. "COUGH! But now it's ruined because an NPC decided to be cheeky!"

But there is still one solution . . . Daichi glimpsed over towards Sanae, careful to avoid drawing her attention. But she'd already been peering in his direction with likely the exact same idea in mind.

"W-Well," she cutely stammered. "It's true that low-tier quests are usually for harmless stuff like this. But if we wanna make things work—"

"Yeah! CAW! Good idea! If you two aren't actually dating, then just go on a real date today! Or fake it! I don't care! As long as Raven buys it, we're all good! CAW!"

It was the million dollar ask. Daichi's eyes met Sanae's again as he sought some hint from her. But all she could do was fidget her fingers together, as if waiting for him to pop the question.

But there's no way I can just ask her out on a date! We just met a few days ago! Is that how it even works? Even though he'd been confessed to numerous times and had no problem socializing with girls, he'd never actually asked a girl out in earnest. Even with Hanako, he couldn't bring himself to return her feelings—but Sanae was different. Since they'd first met, ever since he woke up laying on her lap, he'd been harboring something he'd never quite felt for another woman. And this might've been his first chance at truly conveying those emotions.

He took a deep breath, but just as he was about to speak, Sanae started talking with Crow.

"D-Do you not have any other friends you could ask for this?" she stammered.

"What? I'm a freaking BIRD! CAW!" He began grooming himself again. "You think I just get together with my bird friends and say 'Let's go eat some worms!'? No! All I have is Raven! So that's why I wanna keep her happy!"

Crow's reasoning was just digging everyone's hole deeper. Accepting the quest seemed inevitable, but if Daichi jumped right into it, he might seem a bit too desperate. A little more attempt at diplomacy was needed.

"But if you're a bird, how can you even make a request to the Guild House?" Daichi countered.

"Yeah I'm a bird, but I'm still an Adventurer!" he squawked. "Still have access to most of my Menu. Had some gold saved up from my human days, so here I am getting interrogated by the people I hired! CAW!"

Over on his side, Sanae tried getting Daichi's attention. The same, cute blush persisted on her face while she looked towards the ground.

"Erm, if it's for the quest, I don't mind—you know . . ."

I have no excuse anymore! And it'd probably make us look bad if we canceled the quest! Time to man up! Even as he thought that, his embarrassed, fidgeting eyes were working overtime to avoid Sanae's. There was an undeniable air of romantic tension between the two teenagers. Thus far, both had only expressed vague interest and attraction to one another, but neither had made a solid move.

Until now.

Daichi nudged aside some of his silver bangs covering his forehead, then made a nervous chuckle as he finally spoke his mind.

"Ummm, since we're kinda obliged at this point, why don't we try like—an actual date? O-Or we can just pretend! Whatever works!" Why is this harder than it should be?

All eyes were on Sanae as she bashfully mulled over Daichi's proposal. The Cleric's finger was weaving itself into her hair, twirling a strand like someone desperate for a distraction. But slowly, cute dimples appeared on her cheeks as her lips curled into a wholesome smile.

"Mm!" she nodded. "It'd be fun!"

"Great! CAW! We're in business!" Crow flapped his wings in celebration. "See, kid? I got you a date! Now you two gotta honor our arrangement!"

But Daichi's heart was still fluttering too fast for him to formulate thoughts. His face felt pinker than cotton candy while his legs were like wet spaghetti. Even though it was just a date—which might not even count as a real one—the rush of emotions still spun his head in circles.

Only Sanae remained somewhat composed, but even she seemed to be radiating girly nervousness.

"W-Well, what are we supposed to do on the date then?" she asked Crow.

"Less talking, more dating!" He flew off his branch and perched himself on Daichi's left shoulder. "Pretend you're lovers! I'm gonna hang around like this while you guys have fun!"

"Hey! You're not gonna poop on me or something, are you?" Daichi said.

"I have no sphincter! I shit where I please! CAW!"

"But what about my robe . . .?"

"Don't worry! I can still sort of feel the shit coming! I'll just fly away in time, maybe!"

Gee, thanks. But part of Daichi felt badass for carrying a crow on his shoulder like a pirate's parrot. Even though he could summon assortments of creatures at will, having a somewhat authentic animal by his side was comforting.

Sanae joined up with them. "Should we get going then?"

"Oh—yeah!" Daichi said. "Right behind you!"

"Usually it's the guy leading the way," she giggled. "But I know some places, so let's just enjoy ourselves."

"CAW! Just get a room if things get too interesting!"

But Daichi's and Sanae's heads were so in the clouds that they hardly reacted to Crow's teasing. Wholesome chatter soon filled the air as they all began their park adventure, marking the beginning of one very strange date.