Pink Room and a Mother's Loss

I remembered something again.

I found myself in a bedroom, it wasn't Daishi's or mine from either orphanage. The walls were painted pastel pink and the bedsheets were red and green. My height was smaller again, which led me to believe that it was another memory from before the accident. Before me was the RONDselia vinyl, but the player was entirely different.

As I heard the song to its end, more and more memories involving that song flooded my mind. Sometimes it played in the pink room, but other times it was in a living room – presumably in the same house. I doubted the possibility that it was my old house, since there was no reason my family would have a pink room.

I remembered people with me, but I couldn't make out their faces clearly. The last memory I had of the vinyl was in that pink room, but I wasn't alone in there. It wasn't an adult, but more a child my size and age; I believe they had pigtails. The song ended before anything became clear to me.

➼ ➼ ➼

My ear twitched and I had returned to Daishi's room.
Was that the "Proust effect" thing?

"You okay, senpai? It looked like you were trip'n out a bit."

"Y'know what, Daishi-kun? I was wrong… I have heard this song before, as a kid. But I didn't own the vinyl."

"Wait, really? Did'ya just remember something? Have'ya ever been to Daikokuya pawn shop?"

I squeezed my eyes in an attempt to jog my memory.
"No, that name doesn't ring a bell."

He played the song again, but nothing new would come to me no matter how many times it was played.

I hadn't noticed how many hours I spent at his house until I received a text message from Ringomori. She reminded me that I was on duty for dinner, and I thanked her for the reminder. She told me to take care on the way back, and "Don't join the parents."

"Daishi-kun, it seems like it's time for me to go. I'll see myself out. Thanks for hostin' me today, it was really fun."

"You're welcomed back anytime, bud…really. See'ya around and be careful, wouldn't want'ya join'n your parents."
He issued a smirk with those words, and caused me to display a similar one.

As I was leaving the room, I said, "You take care too, I know you miss your sister, but try not to join your family either."

"Aye, aye, cap'n."

I went to the front door of the house and put on my shoes, then turned around to see Ms. Ashikaga again.

"Vieira-kun, do you have a moment? I want to thank you again for being friends with my son and bring'n joy into his life. I know his other friends do the same, but to see it happen at my house greatly reassured me."

"Ma!" Daishi yelled from his room. "Please don't embarrass me again!"

His mom had glee written on her face.
"He seems to really appreciate your company."

"Actually, Ashikaga-san, your son has done more for me than I have for him. If anythin', I should be the one thankin' you and him."
I turned around to unlock the door.
"I also love your house. I haven't really been in somethin' like this, and the decor is really is breathtakin'."

I was going to leave our conversation at that, with my hand twisting the doorknob, but then she stopped me again.

"Can you wait here momentarily?"

I listened and patiently waited while she went into the kitchen to fetch something. She returned with a plastic container of cookies.

Handing me the container, she said, "I'd love it if you shared this with your family."

A sharp pain slipped into my expression as my head and eyes sank to the cookies, and she noticed.

"What's wrong, Vieira-kun?"

I raised my head, though not as high as it was before, and saw her holding her hands to her chest.

Tellin' her nothin's wrong isn't goin' to put her sensitive heart at ease. And while tellin' the truth is just as painful, it's still better than lyin' to her.
I told her the truth about me being an orphan after losing my parents nearly seven years ago.

As expected, she was taken aback and covered her mouth.
"I-I'm so sorry!" she said, frantically bowing before me. "I was ignorant for assume'n you had a family, and also for the joke my son said about adoption earlier!"

"N-No need to apologize, Ashikaga-san. I assure you there's no hard feelin's about anythin'. I have amnesia from the accident, so I can't really remember my family, and it's kind of wicked, but I enjoy jokes like that. So please, don't worry."

She raised her head and looked me in the eyes.
"No wonder you have that similar gaze that my little Dai has. It's because you're both filled with grief."

I shifted my eyes past Ms. Ashikaga towards Daishi's room down the hallway. I uttered, "His dad and sister…"

"It's not entirely the same, but lose'n family members is a heavy toll that can only be truly understood by those with similar experiences. Even if you can't remember that toll, it's still within you, wait'n t'be discovered again."

"I-I see…"

"Listen, Vieira-kun," she said as she took a step closer to me. "I would never want to replace your mother, but I'm still a mother that's always home. In the case that you need advice, whether it's related to school or adult life or even relationships, you can come t'me."

A girl came to mind, but I didn't think I'd require any advice – at least not for the moment. I pondered her offer.
It won't harm anyone if I take it, and I feel like she misses the familial feelin' of her real son bondin' with someone like a sibling, since he doesn't click with his cousins. Also, I can't be blamed for wantin' a little parental love, I've been without it for a long time.

I stood astute and gave her my answer. "I appreciate your offer, Ashikaga-san. I'll take you up on that."

She illuminated the house with a radiant smile.

We both wished each other the best and I departed from the Ashikaga household. I walked to the bus stop and managed to catch the last bus to the orphanage. When I arrived, I did my kitchen duties and then headed to the office to submit my second peer outing for the month. Ringomori was there too.

"I'm shocked that you managed to get two in one week," she said.

"I made a friend, then went to his house. That reminds me, I have somethin' to tell you after dinner."

She grinned and said, "Okay."

We had curry rice for dinner. Afterwards, I shared some of my cookies with the younger kids, and saved the rest for myself and Ringomori. We sat outside on the front lawn of the orphanage.

The moon was rising and the clouds made way for the stars to shine; it was easy to stargaze in Hokkaido. I told her about Daishi and his gaming setup, then about his RONDselia vinyl.

She appeared to be filled with life. Even under the dark sky, I used the light of the stars to see her pupils dilate. Her open smile allowed her teeth to glisten.

"Where did he get it from?" she asked rather eagerly. It was like when I found out she knew about the band.

"Um, he told me he pawned it from a shop called Daikokuya."

As if a sudden jolt of electricity had coursed through her veins, she was left momentarily stunned and wide-eyed.
She finally said, "That's––" before pausing herself, then continued with "That is amazing, is it not?"

I furrowed a brow at her, but ignored any suspicions in favor of keeping the excitement alive.
"Y'know, I also got a few memories from that vinyl. Apparently I listened to it when I was a kid. Somethin' similar happened to me when we went to the mall."

She leaned away from me a small bit, placing her hand over her heart; trembling. I didn't know if it was because of the night breeze or shock, and if it was shock, I didn't know if it was good or bad. After her pause, she said,
"You…remembered something?... That's great!"

The endorphins were released from my body out of relief. I told her what I remembered, and her face became more and more curious with every detail. To me, it didn't seem like she had any idea what I was talking about. I didn't expect to know anything, but perhaps a part of me wanted her to tell me something I didn't know.

Nevertheless, we continued to gaze at the stars and talk until curfew struck.