Here comes The Jester

Nika elected to explore Sicily on her own. Since Tetsuka’s mother was still a few hours away, everyone had decided to do their own thing.

Sure, I could just warp Tetsuka’s mother here instantly, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, there were some intriguing foes roaming the city. Perhaps even Nika could level up by beating one of them.

Nika primarily visited famous sights and restaurants to gather content for her articles. As she exited a restaurant, she ran into Kumi.

“YO Nika! I just saw some daimyo clown and a guy in a suit duck into an alley,” Kumi grinned.

“So?”

“You’re a reporter, right? Then you gotta spy on them and bust them for their crimes.”

“MIKU! I’m NOT a gossip reporter.”

“But those guys were complaining about how they failed to kill someone.”

Nika sighed as she grabbed her bag.

“If it gets bad, you better escape with me as fast as possible.”

                                                                                     …

Kumi lead Nika to the spot where she saw the men.

“Miku, we’re NOT going into that menacing alleyway,” Nika growled.

“But you might be able to bust a major Yakuza Mafia merger!”

“Miku, please don’t- “

*Clack*

The girls turned to see a mustachioed man wearing a black suit and fedora pointing a gun at them.

“[Who are you]?” he asked.

“[We are tourists, sorry to bother you],” Nika nervously replied.

The man skeptically glanced at Kumi.

“[I saw you spying on us. Who are you]!?"” he demanded.

“Ah! I feel so much better after that dump,” a voice chuckled.

The girls turned to see an old man dressed like a daimyo emerge from an alcove in the alleyway.

He had a purple topknot and beard, wore face paint, and wore a flashy green hakama along with pointy red shoes.

Upon seeing the girls, he immediately freaked out.

“AHHHH! Oi Vincenzo! Get rid of them before they post those pictures of me online!”

“Pictures!? I never took any,” Nika groaned.

“Buwahahaha! Screw you Sicily! Eat my shit!” the eccentric man’s voice rang out from Kumi’s phone.

“MIKU YOU IDIOT!” Nika screamed as she went pale.

Vincenzo immediately fired at the girls, only for Kumi to zap all his shots down.

“[What!? You’re a power holder!? Iyaiyai! This is gonna be a pain],” Vincenzo groaned.

The eccentric man glared at Kumi until coming to a realization.

“AH! It’s you! You’re that Ewetube girl that does all that dumb shit!”

“Yeah! 69 million subscriber strong Kumi here! Also your big shit’s been uploaded on my channel already,” Kumi smirked.

“YOU BITCH! Oi Vincenzo, change of plan! We’re streaming Kumi’s death. Record while I kill her.”

Vincenzo sighed as he pulled out his phone.

“Buwahahaha! You fool’s are about to face the Jester’s wrath!” the eccentric man yelled as ninjas suddenly appeared.

“Where did they come from!?” Nika yelled in panic.

“Buwahahaha! These are my ninjas! They were supposed to meet me in Venice, but got on the wrong flight. Now, since you girls don’t seem to know of my infamy, allow me to introduce myself. I am The Jester, these are my ninjas, and that’s Vincenzo, my brother from another mother. Now theme song time!” Jester grinned.

Two ninjas then pulled out a shamisen and an electric guitar respectively, as Jester began singing.

“Yo Yoi! I am the greatest criminal from the depths of Edo. The great daimyo of organized crime. Everyone fears my name! For every atrocity, I have attained! Murder! Kidnapping! Drug Smuggling! None can match my Might! Theft! Assault! War Crimes! All now fear my wrath! With my evil ninjitsu I will conquer all that’s good. They say Jesters are the fools, WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW DUMBASS! Lalalalalala! Jester-sama is the evil, dastardly, wicked, inhumane, dark ninjutsu daimyo! Oh oh oh oh! Yooooooo!”

“If any of you want the TV size or full version, just give obscene amounts of money to my Spudify, Etunes, and Orange music accounts! And don’t you dare pirate, or I’ll copyright strike you to hell assholes! Thanks for giving me all your money you dumbass fools!”

“Well that was cringe!” Kumi cringed in disgust.

“I agree,” Nika stated as she too cringed in disgust at Jester.

Jester then commanded his ninjas to attack.

Nika was so disgusted by Jester, she cracked her knuckles and prepared to throw hands.

“I didn’t take self defense for nothing,” she growled as she took out a ninja.

Kumi electrocuted all the ninjas that attacked her and looked around for Jester.

“BUWAHAHAHAHA! Over here dumbasses!”

Nika and Kumi turned to see Jester conjuring a giant ball of miasma as Vincenzo stood next to him.

Nika’s anger suddenly turned to fear as she gazed at the size of the miasma.

Kumi attempted to attack, only to be blocked by a barrier.

“BUWAHAHAHAHA! You’re too low leveled to dent Vincenzo’s barrier! Now this is for posting a video of me taking a shit!” Jester laughed.

“Hey you were the one shitting in public!” Kumi countered.

“Screw you! I couldn’t hold it in and had to go in the alley!”

Just before Jester could hurl the miasma at them, I appeared behind them.

“YO Jester!” I sneered as Jester and Vincenzo turned to face me.

“AAAAHH! MURAMASA JOUZU! You’re the one person I despise more than Madoka! Behold my- huh? Where’d my dark miasma ball go?” Jester said.

“Look up dumbass,” I snickered.

Upon being frightened at the sight of me, Jester had accidentally thrown his giant miasma ball into the sky.

Vincenzo sighed and attempted to shield Jester and himself with his barrier, only to be kicked in the back by Kumi.

“Lol, dumbass forgot about me,” she snickered as Vincenzo went flying into Jester knocking them both to the ground.

I then warped Nika and Kumi away to a safe viewing spot as the ball of miasma crashed down.

Jester, Vincenzo, and all the ninjas went flying into the air.

“Screw you! You think you’re safe? Well I’ve got a paraglider that- huh!?”

Jester went pale as he saw the giant hole in his paraglider.

“Hey, anyone got a spare glider?” Jester asked.

However, all his ninjas along with Vincenzo were out cold.

“[OH SHIT! **** YOU MURAMASA JOUZU!]” Jester yelled as they flew off into the sky.

I responded by giving a middle finger salute and having Nika and Kumi do the same.

“Did I kill him?” Kumi giddily asked.

“Sadly, that bastard’s a little out of your league and will probably survive. Though you did knockout Vincenzo and took out some fodder,” I replied.

Kumi was now level 12, and even Nika had risen to level 2. They were both progressing nicely.

“You two did good, now let’s go meet up with everyone, Testuka’s mother will be arriving in a few minutes.”