What Was The First Thing I Felt?

 When he arrived in front of his house, his phone rang. 

It was Doctor Kota.

"Hello, Mika?"

"Hi, Kota."

"How are you?"

"I'm okay, I guess. How about you?"

"I'm doing great, Mika. I have some important news for you."

By this time Mika had entered the house. He took off his shoes and walked into the living room.

"What is it?" he asked. He had reached the living room. The TV had turned on by itself.

Looks like the power went out and came back on

 He picked up the remote, ready to turn it off, but a news bulletin caught his eye.

"It's about your health, Mika," Kota said. His voice was full of understanding.

As Mika listened to Kota, he kept his eyes on the screen. 

There had been a roller coaster accident in Nagano. Many people were injured.

I wonder if Saya is okay?

 While he tried to comprehend what he saw on the TV, another event took place.

"Your brain is returning to normal. Your emotions will return, Mika."

***

Mika dropped the remote control. He couldn't believe his eyes and ears. His heart felt like it wanted to burst out of his chest.

"What?" he said. He had said this sentence for two different events now.

"It's because the enlargement of the amygdala has reversed, and all the seizures, including the epilepsy, are related to the return of these emotional stimuli and hormones to your brain. I have good news for you, Mika. You're going to get better."

At that moment he saw Rin being carried on a stretcher on the live TV feed.

"RIN?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Mika?" Kota said in surprise.

"Kota, can I call you back in a minute?" Mika asked.

"Of course, you must be as surprised as I am. If you can be surprised, that is. Call me back when you can. In the meantime, I'll inform your family," Kota said and hung up.

Mika's chest started to pressure on his whole breathing system.

"WHERE'S SAYA?"

He immediately thought of calling Rin. His hands shook and with icy fingers, he dialed Rin's number. 

After a few rings, Rin answered.

"Hello?" Rin said. Her voice sounded as if she was in pain.

"Hello, Rin. I saw the news about the accident. Are you okay? Where's Saya?"

"I-I don't know. The restraints suddenly opened while the ride was upside down. Ah... Saya fell at that moment," Rin said, his voice filled with pain and sadness.

"WHAT?" Mika couldn't believe what he heard.

"I couldn't even take care of her. I barely held on and managed to fall, probably breaking my leg. I don't know where she is."

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" Mika felt an enormous pain inside of him.

 He felt terribly sick and his whole body was shaking.

"Find her, Mika. I don't know where she is or what's happening, but she should have been taken to Nagano Hospital. Please do something. Be brave and go to her." Rin cried, her voice echoing through the phone, carrying her grief and despair directly into Mika's soul.

Mika dropped the phone. His hands couldn't hold anything. He couldn't take his eyes off the news on the TV either.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT SHOULD I DO? 

His legs trembled and he felt immobilized. At the same time, the voices of Mana and Rin began to echo in his mind.

"Be brave and go to her."

"Our bodies react to everything, even when we have no emotions..."

"You care about her, don't you?"

"It shows in your eyes."

Suddenly, after the voices echoed in his head, he took a deep breath. His legs were shaking, but he wanted to move forward. 

He wanted to run.He couldn't swallow.

 All his nails had turned purple.

"Feelings are returning, Mika," Dr. Kota's words echoed.

"But who made this possible? I haven't done anything..."

Suddenly, Saya's face appeared in his mind. All this had happened because of her.

His feet suddenly moved. The phone was on the ground. He rushed to the door, threw it open and got on his bike. His brain was moving too fast to comprehend.

 His body moved on its own.

Accelerating and shifting gears, he rode toward the hospital.

The sky had darkened and raindrops began to fall. 

He got wet while lost in thought.

What was the first thing I felt? I guess Wanting

 Why do we have to feel pain?

Yes, my first feeling was resistance. Was there something before?

 Why did resistance arise?

Because I didn't want to hurt Saya.And after that? 

Anger. The first time I got angry at Saya. She started to cry. 

He had felt incredibly strange and terrible. 

Everything was so confusing.What about surprise? 

That had been there too, and it had been in the presence of Saya.

Happiness?  I had felt that too on the bridge with Saya.

Sadness?  I had felt that towards Saya. I didn't want her to leave, so I felt it.

Saya is in everything I feel.

His eyes began to burn. He didn't realize how fast he was going. 

Cars honked at him. Even though there were no more gears on the shifter, he kept pushing it to go faster, even though he was already out of breath.

"I don't want to lose her!" he shouted. 

He couldn't understand what was happening, but all his emotions and his soul seemed to be begging.

"It was she who healed me. I, on the other hand, only hurt her..."

"Damn it!" he started crying.

Tears streamed down his face. He had finally realized.

I CAN FEEL EMOTIONS!

The words he had told himself sent shivers down his spine.

Finally he recognized his last emotion: Fear.

He was afraid to lose Saya. 

His heart felt as if it would burst out of his chest and his legs burned.

And finally, he realized the last emotion, collected them all and acknowledged them. 

When he realized it, there was an incredible mixture of pain and serenity within him.

I love Saya.