Sweet Dreams

The moment I heard dad’s voice I felt the muscles tense in my jaw. I’m just an inch away from kissing Asher’s lips and he has to disturb me now of all times. He really has bad timing.

I looked into Asher’s eyes and strangely he looked relieved and disappointed at the same time. I almost decided to wait until dad changed his mind and went away thinking I might be sleeping already. But then I remembered that I didn’t look at the door with the key, so now he may come in any time soon.

“Just a moment, dad,” I raised my voice so that he could hear me, then frantically looked at Asher. “My dressing room is that way,” I said in a lower voice and pointed at the door leading to the dressing room. “Wait for me there. I’ll send him away quickly. There’s also a table in there. You can put that on it,” I told him as I noticed him looking at the tray with the pie and the beer on it. He picked it up and I opened the door because his hands were full. I turned on the lights for him, so he wouldn’t fall over, then closed the door behind him.

I felt cruel for hiding him away as if I was ashamed of his presence. But it was actually him, who told me I shouldn’t come out to my father. Even if I don’t listen to him, it’s probably not the right way to do it like this anyway. So, I walked over and opened the door to dad.

“What is it?” I asked impatiently.

“Can I come in?” he asked as if he was standing outside in the heavy rain or wind, so he asked for my approval to enter my house. I hesitated for a moment but at last, I got out of his way so that he could come in.

As it turned out, he didn’t have anything important to say, at least not to me. He just kept telling me how proud he is of my academic achievements and the efforts I put into my internship at our company. Maybe I would appreciate this more if only he was more understanding toward me. I know he has my interests at heart but somehow only when my interests align with his. So, no wonder I feel pissed when he could have told me this during dinner instead of talking about golf.

“I try to be a son you can be proud of,” I told him calmly. Hearing this, he turned away from the window he had been looking through for the past few minutes and looked at me.

“You are my pride even without trying,” he said with a gentle fondness in his voice that surprised me. Perhaps, I would appreciate this comment more if he would show it instead of telling it to me. “ You know...,” he said slowly and took a few steps toward me. “Sometimes you remind me of your mother. You are just as beautiful as her, even your temperament is quite similar. When I look at you, it feels like a part of her is still with me,” his voice sounded sorrowful and his eyes were full of sadness when looking at me which made me pity him.

“Well. As far as biology goes, you really do have a part of her with you,” I reminded him matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said abruptly.

“I know.”

“I hope I can keep being proud of you,” he told me earnestly and looked straight into my eyes. I was the first to break eye contact and when I finally did, he walked to the door and opened it after saying good night to me.

“Good night,” I told him back as he walked out.

I waited for a few seconds, then rushed to the door to close it. This time with the key. Then I went straight to the dressing room to let Asher know that he could come out now because dad had finally left. But to my surprise, when I opened the door to the dressing room and went in, I found Asher lying on the ottoman sleeping.

He looks so defenseless and handsome now that I just want to keep staring at him. But I cannot leave him here like that. It must be uncomfortable sleeping on that.

My first thought was to bring him back to his room but I didn’t want to risk dad seeing me carrying Asher back to his room if I bumped into him on the way. So, I carefully reached under Asher’s legs and back and picked him up to bring him back to my bedroom instead. I put him down on my bed, took off his slippers, and was about to cover him with the blanket when I realized it might be uncomfortable for him to sleep here like that. At first, I just wanted to unbuckle and take off his belt, so it wouldn’t press against his skin if he turned around while sleeping. But then I realized it might be easier to take it off along with his pants. He also might feel less hot this way after I cover him with the blanket. At least, I felt a sense of guilt for enjoying this more than I should.

After tucking him in, I got undressed and went to have a shower. I half expected him to wake up by the time I returned but he didn’t. He was sleeping just as soundlessly as I left him. So, afraid of him waking up to the lamp light, I quickly changed into my pajamas and got into bed as well.

I took one final look at him before turning off the light on my bedside table. I must be a masochist after all that I’m willing to suffer like this but it’s just so comforting to see him lay by my side sleeping peacefully.

As I put my arm around his waist, I could feel the warmth emanating from him through his shirt. Then I planted a light kiss on his cheek and let the sound of his breathing lull me into sleep.

******

I woke up to Jack staring at me while sitting beside me on the bed and eating the pie I baked for him. I sat up quickly and found that I was only wearing my shirt and underwear.

“Don’t panic,” Jack said calmly, guessing what went through my mind just a moment ago. “You fell asleep while waiting for me to finish talking with my dad. I figured it’s better to let you sleep here than risk getting caught by dad when I take you back to your room,” he said and continued eating.

“You could’ve just woke me up,” I pointed it out and got out of bed to put on my pants. Jack looked up at me and seemed genuinely surprised.

“That option didn’t occur to me,” he said.

“Whatever,” I waved with my hand, then turned to look at the remaining pie on the table. “I hope you don’t mind if I help myself to it. I’m starving,” I said and picked up the knife to cut a slice for myself.

“Oh, but it’s so delicious. I wanted to eat it all,” he replied, pretending to be hurt and when I looked at him, he even pouted a little. I decided not to care about it but when I turned back to the table to continue cutting, he got up and ran to me as quick as a gazelle and put his plate down on the table.

“Fine, as long as you bake another one for me today.”

“Okay, but we are out of blueberries. You have to make do with apples,” I told him without looking at his face. I put the slice I just cut into my plate when he leaned closer.

“Well, I’d rather eat you but if you insist, I make do with the apples. With sugar on top.”

His low, husky voice reverberated in my ears long after he stopped speaking and I thought to myself that if he decided to kiss me now, I wouldn’t be able to resist him anymore.

But he didn’t.