Apple Pie

I deeply regret climbing on top of Jack’s assistant ever since the day I did it. At that moment I acted without thinking because I was desperate. Jack was as kind as always and didn’t say a word when my parents invited him over, so he had to cancel our table at the restaurant at the last minute. He even brought a bouquet for me with the most gorgeous flowers I’ve ever seen.

But I don’t know... I had the feeling his mind was somewhere else, somewhere I could not reach. I’ve heard a surefire way to know if someone really loves you is to make him jealous and see how he’ll react. If it bothers him, you are on the right track. If he doesn’t give a damn, you better give up because it’s hopeless.

I should be happy now because Jack was so angry when he saw me practically sitting on another man’s leg that he dragged me off him immediately. And his eyes were so hostile when looking at me that I felt a sharp pain in my heart upon seeing it. And the way he talked to me... He looked extremely disappointed as if he didn’t expect such a move from me. In a way, he is right. I should be better than that.

Maybe I’m just too greedy and it’s not enough for me that now I can see him anytime I want to but I also want to have him all to myself. I should be more patient and wait until he gets used to me being here again but it feels like eternity already.

And now he is even angry at me. For which I can only blame myself. I should have waited until he makes a move but I really can’t. I feel like I waited enough already.

I must do something... Should I just sit here and wait until he texts me?

******

I couldn’t sit and wait patiently after all. I decided to pay him a visit, so we can spend a bit more time together. We have a lot to make up for. So, later in the afternoon, I asked our driver to take me to Jack’s home. I was impatient and nervous all the way to his house. How would he react? Will he be happy to see me? Will he invite me in? Or will he still be hostile toward me and ask me to go away? However it may be, I still want to hear it. I want to hear his response, so I can ask for his forgiveness and tell him I made a mistake. And then I’ll hope to get another chance.

The way to his house seemed longer than the last time we went there but perhaps it’s because now I’m far from overjoyed to see him. Now I’m anxious, sad, desperate, and distraught. All the negative emotions I can possibly feel.

When the car finally stopped in front of Jack’s house, I got out and practically rushed to the door. After ringing the bell, the same old woman opened the front door as when the last time I was here.

“If you have come to see the young master, Ms. Chen, I believe he is in the kitchen right now. His father, Mr. Liu is away at the moment,” she informed me and closed the door after I came in.

“I see, thank you,” I told her awkwardly and went in the direction she pointed me, while she went back to do her regular job as always.

As I was getting closer to the kitchen, I heard voices which somehow made me walk slower. When I actually arrived at its door, I realized that it was open halfway that’s why I heard speaking. Not loud enough to hear what had been said but Jack’s voice was still recognizable. As well as the other person’s, whom I only heard speaking a few times.

I don’t know why I didn’t go in immediately. It just felt so weird seeing Jack baking that it made me freeze for a second. It’s not like he doesn’t have someone to cook and bake for him if he craves something. But he seemed to enjoy it tremendously, as he was laughing and joking around with his assistant, who seemed to help him with the baking. This made me smile because Jack seemed so carefree and cheerful as he was in the old days. At one point, he even scooped up some flour with his hand and threw it right at his assistant’s face which made the whole room filled with white flour falling in the air looking like a white fog. His assistant started coughing slightly due to the flour which made Jack laugh lightheartedly even more.

Seeing Jack like this was unusual yet familiar and it instantly made me smile. Well, only until I saw Jack lean over and kiss his assistant which wiped the smile off my face at once. It was just a quick peck on the lips at first but it turned into something more very soon.

I have no idea why I stood there watching them make out when I felt one teardrop rolling down my face after another. Nothing could have shocked me more than this. All the time we were playing together as children, I’d never thought... There was no sign of it and he never told me either. Wasn’t I his best friend? Didn’t he trust me enough to tell me? Or did he suspect either my feelings for him or that our parents wanted us to get married, so he decided not to tell me?

I slowly turned around and I felt a sharp pain in my chest with every step I took to get to the front door and out of the house. Their laugh was still ringing in my ears even though they were no longer laughing and the sweet smell of cinnamon and apples made my nose sting. I tried to moderate myself and only started to cry loudly after I got back into the car and asked our driver to take me back home.

It’s not like I’m hurt because he chose someone else over me. I’m hurt because I didn’t even have a chance with him in the first place.