Chapter 24:

Princess Kaguya Announces Her Presence (Part 1)

It’s My First Time Working Late Nights at a Convenience Store, and If I Keep Getting Demon Lords, Kappa and Other Oddballs as Customers, I’m Giving My Two-Weeks’ Notice


It’s my sixth night working at the convenience store.


Ding-a-ling-a-ling...  

 

“Welcome, irasshaima...se?”


Well, this is odd.


It’s 2 AM, and a group of five men have just trickled into the store.

 

This is the first time I’ve ever seen so many people stop by at once.


They’re all dressed in kimono — and clearly on a mission. They take short, quick strides, scanning the shelves for something specific.


Huh. Now that I’m looking a little more closely, I can see that each one of them is holding a piece of paper.


“Ah, sir. A question, if I may.”

 

One of them — a young man with his black hair stylishly swept back — calls out to me. The second he does, the rest of his entourage turns their focus on me.

 

Whoa, dudes! Could you dial down the intensity a little?! It’s kind of freaking me out!  


“I am Prince Kuramochi. I was hoping that you might be able to point me in the direction of an object that I’m seeking.”

 

With a polite bow and an apologetic expression, he lets me read the scrap of paper he has in his hands.


Oooh, this is kind of exciting. It says...


{sweet fruit sugared and shaped to form a scarred full moon}

 

...And that’s it.

 

“...Uh, I’m pretty sure we don’t carry anything like that here.”

 

“Well, that can’t be. Princess Kaguya specifically stated this establishment.”

 

The suave young man is resolved to not take no for an answer.


Meanwhile, his fellows all gather around the register, each clamoring to have their note read.

 

“I don’t get this at all.”

“Can you lend me your aid in my quest?”

“Please, sir. I would very much like to discover what this treat tastes like.”

“But, what’s all this about sweet, scarred moons?”

“I MUST be the first to deliver Princess Kaguya the item she so desires.”  


They’re all talking over each other, and it’s just one loud, noisy mess. Ugh, shut up!


“Okay, just hold on a second. I’m not the great Prince Shotoku — I can’t make out a word of what you’re saying. Could you guys form a line, or something?”

 

“I’m the youngest, so I should go first.”

“What are you talking about? Age trumps beauty.”

“I believe that I ought to be served presently.”

“You already asked your question, so head to the back of the line!”

“He hasn’t answered me yet, so it’s STILL my turn.”

 

Oh, for the love of... Give it a rest, guys!

If you’re going to bicker, at least take it outside!!


I prop my elbows up on the counter, as I wait for this to blow over.

 

“I’ve got it! This is a job for rock-paper-scissors!”

“Alright! Don’t think I’ll go easy on you guys!”

“No cheating, now!”

“Let’s settle this fair and square!”

“Hrmph. I’ll show you youngsters what true skill is.”

 

The battle (?) ends with everyone calmly and good-naturedly accepting their place in line.

 

The first one to the counter is a surprisingly handsome man in a blue kimono, with his long hair tied back in a ponytail.


“I, Prince Ishitsukuri, request your assistance in deciphering this riddle.”


His page reads...


{crispy pillars of a thousand flavors that dance in one’s mouth}

 

“...Pillars? Sorry, I don’t think we sell anything that could be considered a piece of architecture.”


“You could’ve given that some more thought!”

 

“At last, it is my turn! Here, feast your eyes on this!”


Prince Ishitsukuri is quickly shoved aside by a heavyset man in an orange kimono, who looks like he spends his days doing nothing but eating. And only his favorite foods, at that.  


“I am the honorable Abe, Minister of the Right. And I MUST obtain the object written here before any of the others.”  


He thrusts his note at me, which I look over.

{a bold, blue club made from mythical ice}


“Yeeeeah, we’re not an item shop. We don’t stock weaponry here.”


“I am perfectly aware of THAT! But surely it exists! Find it, I beseech you!”


Minister Abe grabs me by the lapels in way too fervent an appeal. Once I’ve managed to pry his hands from my uniform, he’s replaced by a brawny, bearded man wearing a red kimono. He smooths out his short hair in eager anticipation.

 

“Sorry, I’m also looking for something. I tried to work it out on my own, but I’m stuck. Could you lend me a hand?”


Huh, this guy seems to be the most level-headed of the bunch.


This time, it’s:


{sparkling bubbles / fascinating drops of gold / drink the setting sun}

 

“...Are you sure this is supposed to be a shopping list? It sounds more like a haiku.”


Oh my god, what the hell is this nonseeeense?!


Each request has been more ridiculous than the last, and I’m finding it harder to hide my increasing irritation.


“...Alright, let’s just get this over with.”


Last (and possibly least) is the youngest one of the group. He’s dressed in a more modern pink kimono, with his hair styled in a short, round bob. The scrap of paper he’s holding reads:


{the chronicles of wayward youths who find themselves in otherworldly situations}


“Okay, that’s TOTALLY the title of a light novel! GAH!!”

 

“...I’m Middle Counselor Isonokami, by the way. *sigh* No matter how many texts I poured over; I couldn’t find the answer written anywhere.”


Counselor Isonokami’s shoulders slouch in defeat — which, really, is just a mirror image of everyone else in the store. We’re all curled up, pouring over these puzzling pieces of paper.  


Ding-a-ling-a-ling...  


“A single soul emerges from the depths of the evening shadows. ...Yes, it is I. I have arrived.”


An eccentric-looking young woman steps into the store, muttering what sounds like...narration?


“PRINCESS KAGUYA!!”

Huh?


Standing dramatically in between the automatic doors is a middle schooler wearing a black kimono that’s been cropped short and covered with frilly white lace. I guess it’s supposed to be like, Japanese-style gothic lolita? Anyways. Her black hair is done up in high pigtails, and she’s grinning with overwhelming confidence.

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