Parting Gift

I still couldn’t bring myself to tell Jack that I was gonna leave in a few days. I didn’t want to part with him on bad terms and now that we managed to reconcile, I shouldn’t prolong my stay because it will only be harder to leave day by day. So, I decided it would be this Saturday. It’s final. Nothing can change my mind. Not even if he starts to cry and beg me to stay.

It feels weird that I won’t see him every day though. I got so used to the new routine here that my real life will seem absurdly normal after this.

I took a walk around the neighborhood to see how it used to look like in my past as a way of keeping the memory of this in my mind for a time when this would be only history. Our history.

I shook my head at the sentimental thoughts that crossed my mind. I didn’t used to be like this before meeting him. Or perhaps, I have always been a romantic person at heart, I just needed a trigger to unravel it.

I was walking around aimlessly at the mall, when Jack called me.

“Hey there, care to tell me when you’ll be back?” he asked and even through the phone I could tell he had a wide smile on his face.

“I thought you managed to memorize my name by now,” I told him sourly. I didn’t think being greeted in an otherwise perfectly normal way instead of being called by my name would hurt me this much but it did.

“I did... Asher,” he said seductively which made me grip my phone harder as it felt like he whispered it right into my ear.

“I... I still have something to do. But I’ll be back by dinner.”

“Alright. I’m quite hungry, so we won’t wait for you if you are late.”

“Even if you weren’t, you don’t have to.”

“I know. Just come whenever you feel like it. I’ll wait,” he said and hung up. I felt weird after talking to him as if there was some hidden meaning in what he said that I should have understood but I didn’t.

I thought about buying something for him as a parting gift but perhaps, I shouldn’t meddle in the past this much. I meddled enough already. On my way out of the mall, I passed by a jewelry store. I looked in through the glass door and saw two men buying something together. I didn’t see what they were looking at but my mind instantly thought of rings. I suddenly felt a distant pain in my chest, a yearning to have such a close bond with somebody. But I guess my fate is to remain alone until eternity.

I quickened my steps because I didn’t want to see them turn around and go out of the store with a happy smile. I do not envy their happiness, I’m just sad that it’s not me standing there.

******

I once heard that people who have a close connection with each other can guess what the other will say and know what they are thinking. It should warm my heart how Jack managed to do the only thing that went through my mind this afternoon but it only makes me extremely sad and heart-broken. He became even more thick-skinned than before because he didn’t even wait until his father was out of the way to give it to me.

“I saw you only have one pair which you always wear,” he said as he pushed a box across the table to me. I noticed his father’s questioning look but I was just as bewildered as him. “I thought it’s about time to thank you for your service to us,” he told me earnestly.

“Thank you,” I said automatically, picked up the box from the table, and slowly opened it. There lay an elegant pair of cufflinks with some very small, possibly Chinese characters engraved on it. There was a note written directly on the inside of the box which said ‘It means: a part of me to remember me by.” I felt that dull ache again, the same one I felt at the mall when I saw those men buying some jewelry for themselves. “Thank you. I really appreciate it,” I said in a monotone voice looking at both of them, and even managed to fake a smile.

When I closed the box and put it back down on the table, they continued eating as if nothing happened. I did the same but I rather wanted to cry and scream. But perhaps, it’s just my luck that I finally found the right person for me but the timing is not right. Literally.

I raised my head to look at them, father and son eating in silence. They looked so similar yet so different. Even their vibe was a mix of both which made it harder to differentiate the two. Jack is just like the younger version of his father. He has the same charisma and, the same looks. Anyone looking at him would fall head over heels for him.

I put down the fork in my hand, wiped my mouth, and stood up.

“Thank you again,” I said as I picked up the box with the cufflinks in it. As I left the dining room I felt a certain loss as if I missed out on something I regretted deeply later. But I still went back to my room and looked at the gift he gave me again. As I looked at it more closely, I realized this was the same one he was wearing on his birthday just had that note engraved on it for me. It was once his and is now mine. Maybe if I wish hard enough, the Gods will take pity on me and let me be happy just for once.

I guess I should have bought something for him after all.