Chapter 21:

Why Do I Lie? [bonus chapter]

Light of my darkest eve

Why do I lie - Epilogue

After all this time, here I stand. Every material possession I could ever want or need at my fingertips. Blood, sweat and tears behind me, and a lifetime of thrill-seeking ahead of me.

I’ve lied. I’ve cheated. I’ve stolen. And I’ve survived. Through every trial and tribulation thrown my way, I’ve persisted until I could see it through. I’ve used every underhanded tactic in the book, and I’ve come out on top.

I’ve won. Fame, fortune, success, I’ve won it all.

It’s an empty existence.

Looking around my room, I see the visual representations of my triumphs. The awards I’ve earned for innovation. The expensive possessions covering every wall. The photos of myself with every person of importance in the country.

It means nothing.

In this place filled with my shallow desires, I am alone. Every bridge I burned to get here has been irreparably destroyed. Where once I had those whose company I could enjoy, I now have no one.

When I felt it would benefit me, I had no hesitation to betray each and every one of them. To lie for my sake. One by one, the circle of people around me dwindled to nothing. And I didn’t care. For every relationship sacrificed, my prestige in the world took one step forward.

But now I wonder if I miscalculated.

I insisted to myself that no human connection could ever be strong enough to forego wealth and fame for. And yet, here I find myself hollow, unable to fill the void left by those I no longer have around.

Did I care for them?

No. I can’t say I did. They were tools that I used, and they served their purposes well.

But my mistake lay in discarding them. I enjoyed myself in their company. I only realise that now.

And now is too late.

I am alone.

I am empty.

And yet, I persist.

I close the copy of ‘Why Do I Lie’ as my eyes scan the final words. My thoughts are filled with Hanji. Perhaps this is why she reacted so poorly when she saw my interest in the book.

I feel as if I’ve peeled back the curtain and peered into her mind. And I’m unsure if it was a good idea for me to look at all.

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