Charlotte Always

Valentine was stiff and sore, unaccustomed to sharing his bed, and a little bleary from waking several times in the night, but he didn’t mind. It was well worth it. It was still early, barely past 5:30 in the morning. No one would have believed it, but he was an early riser, and he had been since he was a little kid. He liked the quiet of the morning. He liked to sit on his armchair and sip tea and stare out at the sky as it changed colors with the coming of the dawn. He liked hearing the slow increase of traffic and car horns as first the school rush approached, and then the commuter rush.

Lalo didn’t need to be up for another few hours, and judging by the deep snores emanating from the bed, he was having no trouble sleeping. Valentine put on a pair of sweatpants and an old Stolen Away t-shirt and began to stretch out his stiffness. Afterwards, he made a cup of tea, settling into the armchair to savor it.

The first time he’d read Kitchen Boy Losange, he wasn’t prepared. Yaoi often tended to be melodramatic, just like most romance stories, but Losange and Maximilian’s world was fraught with more than simple romantic tension, referencing a period of history that he’d ended up obsessing over. This was why it annoyed him that his Aunt Gerry liked to tease him about his interests. He’d become quite the autodidact because of them, studying history, physics, biology, sociology, and more all on his own.

Sure, Losange and Maximilian were ridiculous, but silly romance also happened to be Valentine’s guilty pleasure. And, of course, the chef was hot. He was ambitious and exacting in the kitchen, but at night, freed from the constraints of his craft, he became wild and uninhibited. It was quite an intoxicating combination.

He was just contemplating going to fetch Volume 1 from his collection when his phone began to vibrate, the buzz amplified on the nightstand where it lay, right by Lalo’s ear. Valentine rushed over to grab it, noting that Lalo hadn’t even shifted with the noise. He was even drooling a little, which Valentine was surprised to find endearing.

Charlotte was attempting to video call him. He rejected the call, his stomach swooping with guilt when he saw that she’d texted him to check in last night, and he’d never responded. She must be worried. He sent a message.

I’m ok. Gimme a min. I’ll call you.

JONNY TOLD ME HE BROUGHT YOU FLOWERS, she responded. Glad you’re okay. 💜💜💜 I hope you’re *more* than okay, actually. Jonny seemed to think you would be. He really likes Lalo.

“Calm down. I was going to call you later. At a reasonable hour.”

“Sorry, sweetheart. I’m talking to Valentine.” Charlotte turned back to the screen. “Whoops. I woke Jacinda. Anyway, you know I’m not a reasonable person. You were supposed to update me on your date, and then I didn’t hear anything all night, which I assumed meant good things, especially with Jonny’s seal of approval, but I still couldn’t help but worry. So spill the beans, posthaste. I need all of the details. I need to know you’re okay.”

“I’m more than okay, Charlotte,” Valentine said.

“Oh, wow, you have it bad.”

Valentine wiped the stupid grin off of his face. “Shut up.”

“I haven’t seen that look on your face since Darrin.”

A heavy weight settled itself over Valentine’s heart. “Do not mention that curséd name.”

“I’m sorry, but I feel an obligation to make sure this guy isn’t another Darrin.”

Valentine didn’t like thinking about this particular ex. Darrin was the most dangerous type of charming person, prone to self-absorption but so good at deflecting that it didn’t become evident until feelings had bloomed and denial became easier to employ than facing the reality of a broken heart.

“Lalo isn’t like that,” he said, self-conscious of how empty and desperate his words probably sounded. “He wears his heart on his sleeve. He doesn’t have a deceptive bone in his body. Seriously.”

Charlotte didn’t answer right away, staring thoughtfully into the camera, her chin resting in her hand. Valentine felt his body flush with humiliation, partly because his best friend was questioning his judgment, and partly because he was questioning his own judgment in the harsh light of dawn. He tried to ignore the way his tell-tale heart was pounding against the floorboards of his chest.

“Look, do you want to meet him soon?” he asked. “Just to be sure? I’ll even let you interrogate him, if it will make you feel better.”

There was a loud clatter, and then the entire screen filled with gray fur, so close that the camera couldn’t regain focus.

“Sparkle! You lil stinker!” Charlotte shouted. There was the brief sound of a scuffle, the video feed spinning up to the ceiling of her apartment. “Hold on a sec, Valley. The gremlin wants to cuddle.”

A moment later, the camera righted itself, and now Charlotte was sitting further back. Her little gray cat was sitting upright in her lap, head tilting sideways as she fixed her bright green eyes on the screen.

“Hello, Sparkle Monster,” Valentine said, swallowing back his tears. “I guess she wants the update, too.”

“Yeah, so tell us everything. We’re dying to know.”

Valentine began to speak, in halting sentences at first, but his courage grew as he told Charlotte and Sparkle about the bouquet of stems, about Build-A-Were, the carousel, the parking lot. He talked in less detail about bringing Lalo home. There was a wondering look in Charlotte's eyes now, less wary. The heavy pressure in Valentine’s chest began to melt a little.

“So is that why you’re on the fire escape?” she asked. “Is he actually in your apartment?”

“Yeah. He’s still sleeping.”

“In your bed.”

“Uh, yeah. Where else would he be?”

“Holy shit, Valentine.”

“Yeah.”

“And he’s still asleep?” she asked, a teasing tone creeping back into her voice. “What a slacker.”

“Charlotte, it’s like six in the morning,” Valentine said, laughing as the rest of the weight melted away. “We stayed up half the night messing around, and then he read the rest of this manga series he’s been obsessed with. You remember Kitchen Boy Losange? It’s hard to find copies of it.”

Charlotte’s mouth dropped open. “Hold on. You let him read from your collection, too?”

Valentine could feel that he was smiling like an idiot again. “Yes. And you know what? He doesn’t think it’s dumb. He’s so careful with my books.”

“Huh.” Charlotte scritched Sparkles’ head. “All right. I see how it is. I see how it is.” She gave him a radiant grin. “You know I can’t help worrying, Valley. But I trust you. I trust your judgment. I’m glad you finally do, too.”

Valentine nodded, buoyant and happy again. “Thanks, Char. That means a lot.”

They talked until his tea was cold and he could no longer ignore how achy he was from being perched on the fire escape, and then they talked for an hour longer. Charlotte’s life on the other side of the country was going astonishingly well, which he felt obliged to be happy about, even though it meant she probably wouldn’t be coming back for a good long while, if ever. Her relationship with Jacinda was still good, much to his relief, because she’d also had her own struggles with bad girlfriends.

By the time Valentine managed to get off the phone, his body was thoroughly chilled from the early morning. He climbed back into the apartment and closed the window behind him. There was nothing more he wanted to do than lie down next to Lalo for a little bit, but he was definitely feeling shy after digging up old dirt with Charlotte.

He thought about how moved Lalo had been when he’d finished reading Kitchen Boy Losange. He thought about how caring and considerate Lalo could be, and how he wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Valentine let his body take precedence over his hesitant mind, crawling back into bed carefully, so as not to wake Lalo. He laid his head down on his pillow and closed his eyes, letting the warmth of Lalo’s presence melt away all of his fears. He knew he wasn’t the same person he used to be. He was stronger, more resilient, and more aware now. Even when the inevitable conflicts came, he trusted that Lalo would do his best to behave with integrity, and he trusted himself to do the same.