6

I remember...

It was cold...
And it was raining...
All day...
Every day...

I wanted to go out...
I wanted to play...
I wanted to explore...

But my mother wouldn't let me...
Actively trying to block my escape to the outside...
Scolding me non-stop...

I knew it wasn't safe.
But staying cooped up in here...
For so many days...
Maybe weeks...
Or even months...

I couldn't stand it anymore...

I wanted to go out!
I wanted to go out!!
I wanted to go out!!!

I'll just wait until they are all asleep...
Then I will make my exit...
Hopefully, no one will notice...

I remember...

Running in the rain...

I don't understand why, but I felt happy...
I loved the feeling on my body...

The ground was soaked and full of puddles...

Small puddles.
Big puddles...

Shallow puddles.
Deep puddles...

I miscalculated my step and fell into one of them...
It was full of mud...
But still...
I didn’t care...

I returned home after an hour or so...
I had lost track of time...

My head felt heavy, and my body was shaking...
Probably due to exhaustion...
I brushed it off and went to sleep, soaking wet...

I remember...

The next day...
My memory of that day was foggy...
It was as blurry as my vision...

I was in constant pain...
I could hardly keep my eyes open...

My head was burning...
My body was freezing...
Two completely opposite sensations were happening simultaneously...
It was strange...

I was scared...

I wanted to cry but...
I couldn’t even do that...

I remember...

The sound of my mother’s cries...
Nudging me...
Trying to wake me up from my nightmare...

But I kept falling asleep...
Again...
And again...

My consciousness slipping into unconsciousness...
All sounds were distant and fading now...

Probably I'm falling asleep again...

This time it seems to be more peaceful...

I don't feel much pain anymore...

My head is just warm now...

My body...
Ah...

I can't feel my body anymore...

I can't hear a thing...
Perhaps my mother stopped crying...

Perhaps I'm getting better now...

I see...

Nothing...
Just darkness...
Just a vast emptiness...

A dreamless sleep...

And the absence of any kind of feelings...
And emotions...

Goodnight...
Sweet dreams...