Fight and Lose

"Give me a week. I'll be back", is what she said to me before going home that day. In the meantime, I was searching for Fuyuko-sensei. I went to her old apartment which she had left after the incident. The owner had no information about her. I was devastated. How was I to find her?

A week passed by and she was still not replying to my texts or picking up my calls. She was not going for morning jogs as well. I was afraid something had happened to her.

"Haru-chan, come down", I heard my mother calling. I went downstairs immediately. Mom was in the living room. When I entered I saw Dad which was a bit odd since Dad wasn't supposed to be home at that time of the day. There was another man whom I had never seen in my life. I looked at him closely while sitting down. He looked like a proper man. A lawyer, perhaps.

"Haruki, I'd like you to meet my friend, Iori Satō", said Dad introducing the guy.

I bowed a little. "I'm Haruki. Dad's son. Nice to meet you, Satō-san", I was nervous. I was not good at formal greetings.

"Nice to meet you, Haruki. I'm Iori. A lawyer", he said properly. I guessed it right. Why would Dad want me to meet him? I knew the answer but I wasn't ready.

"Hibiki has told me some things about you. If you'd like, we can talk alone", he said. I agreed.

"What things have you heard from your dad?", I asked, when my parents left. I bit my lips and stared at the wall clock. I couldn't look him in the eye.

"You were bullied by some seniors. And it got quite serious", he phrased it shortly.

"Yes… yes. I was but that was…umm… five years ago", There was a lump in my neck. My voice was not coming out well.

"You can take your time", he assured. I was in no way thinking of filing a case against them.

"I don't want to fight against them", I expressed. It was true I was fine with how my life is now. I didn't want to create unnecessary drama and that too when my mom was pregnant.

"You don't want justice. You want another Haruki somewhere out there to bear the same pain you did", Iori-san put across words that I didn't want to hear. From the way he was speaking, I could make out that Dad had told him more than he should.

"I don't want it. I'm not a girl who has to worry about getting pregnant when they're sexually abused. I'm a man. I didn't have to worry about such things. I'm fine… I'm fine… I'm totally fine. It didn't hurt me at all", I dug my nails into my left hand.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. Sexual abuse is never okay. Men can get hurt too, you know. In the end, we're all just… humans", he articulated his thoughts. I liked the way he spoke. It was soft but strong.

"I don't know. I don't want to hear about them. Let alone see them anymore. I don't want to ruin mom's health. I don't want to waste dad's time and money. Please tell Dad. I can't do it. His son is not strong or brave. Please", I pleaded to him. I left feeling ashamed.

 "Think about it, son", I heard him say while I was leaving.

I found myself outside Natsuki's place. When I rang the doorbell no one answered. The lock was open. I was contemplating whether to go in or not when someone touched my shoulder from behind. I looked behind and it was Akira. I fell backward onto the porch. I receded backward.

"Leave me. Please. Please", I cried. I was shaking with fear. I was scared of the man in front of me.

He held my hand and helped me up. I was stiff as a rock. Akira stood there.

"Do you know what happened to Natsu-chan?", He asked casually. I was out of words. How was he being so casual with me? I did not answer him.

"Dude, I'm sorry for what I did to you during high school. I was still a child. Forgive me", his apology wasn't sincere. It was the worst apology I had heard. I fell silent and stared at the ground.

"Natsu-chan, come out. Your boyfriend is here", he shouted. I hated myself at that moment. For being so weak. For not being able to stand up for myself. I was ashamed of myself.

"I don't want you to come between us. Natsuki— I love her. Don't bother us", I mustered up all my courage to say it.

"I thought you were gay, little Haru", he said, putting his arm on my shoulder.

"Nii-san? You called?", she said. She pushed Akira's hand away from me.

"Don't touch him, Nii-san. He's mine", she declared as she held my hand gently. I needed confidence like hers. Akira nodded followed by a soft "OK"

"You needed me for something?", Natsuki asked, "If not, I'm pretty busy". Akira told her that his girlfriend's due date was up so he was going to the hospital beforehand. He informed her that she'd take care of his mom. Natsuki nodded. He left.

She led me to her room. It was my first time in a girl's room. It was similar to mine except for her bookshelf. She had no comics on her shelf and mine was filled with them.

"Where were you? I texted. Called. And you didn't even reply or call back. I was worried", I stated.

"I told ya. I'd be back in a week, right?", She smiled with her teeth showing. I nodded.

"You're okay now?", I asked her. She briefed me about what had happened over the week: Her mom asked her how the "Dad search" went. She told him it was foolish of her to search for him. Her mom apologized to her for all these years. Natsuki told her that it would take time for her to forgive her mother. I agreed with how she handled it all.

I told her what just happened at home and she said she wished she had parents like mine.

"You're not even going to consider filing a case against them?", She asked me. I shook my head.

"I don't want to put my mom's health at risk. Besides, I don't want to complicate my life", I said with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry we had to delay your sensei's search", She was genuinely sorry so I forgave her.

"I went to the apartment she used to stay at. The landlord doesn't know anything. I have no clues", I was devastated.

"Have you tried searching for her on social media? You know her full name right?", She asked me. I felt like a fool. Why hadn't I thought of that? But I have no social media accounts. I didn't have any friends.

Natsuki searched for her in all the social media apps she was registered in. We found a lot of people named Fuyuko Goto. We had to text each one of them and figure out which one was Fuyuko-sensei.

She showed me some pictures of the possible Fuyuko-sensei so that we could narrow down the profiles. In the end, there were only three people who had private accounts. One of them accepted our friend request and we started chatting right away.

Nat$u13: Hey.

Fuyuko1212: Hey.

Nat$u13: I want to ask something.

Fuyuko1212: Sure what is it?

Nat$u13: Are you a teacher or used to be a teacher?

…..

It was already 15 minutes and she wasn't replying. She was mad I'm sure.

"I think we shouldn't have written something else", We retired to the bed. It was nerve-wracking for me to do all this.

Her reply came in late evening when I had fallen asleep in Natsuki's bed.

Fuyuko1212:  Are you my student?

Nat$u13: Yes. I'm Haruki Ishikawa.

Fuyuko1212: Oh it's you.

Nat$u13: I would like to meet you, sensei.

Fuyuko1212: Sure. Why not?

Nat$u13: Do text me the time and place to meet. I'll be waiting.

Fuyuko1212: OK (👍)

When I woke up and saw the messages I was delighted. I thanked Natsuki for being so helpful. Social media is awesome.