18 - Yearning (for the polychrome)

After our emotional hug moment, we picked up our stroll once more. It made me feel rather warm inside to see her relieved, genuine smile. I had definitely cheered her up… I had done it!

As she took the fresh evening air into her lungs, she commented that she felt as light as a feather now. I gently chuckled. "Maybe you finally realized your angel wings?"

She stopped walking, and burst into laughter. "Hahaha, woah—an unexpectedly smooth moment?!"

I shyly scratched my neck. "I… uh… it wasn't my intention to be smooth or anything—I just wanted to say what's the truth in my eyes." Her signature grin flashed on her beautiful features. "You're the sweetest, ya know that~?"

We continued our walk. "Like I said, I'm just stating what I think! It… might be tough for a while to adjust to your new life, but it will be very much worth it. You deserve so, so much better than… all that." She looked into my eyes, and then back to the road ahead. I could see her eyes sparkle. Well, it was probably just the reflection of the streetlights—but let me have my romanticist moment!

"For sure. Plus, if I ever need some support, I have such a powerful ally by my side, don't I~" She gently nudged me with her elbow, making me slightly ticklish. "Of course, I'm here for you! To listen, to talk to and… give hug services?" She put on a comically serious face and swung her index finger. "That's an essential, not to be forgotten~"

Our walk in the peaceful neighbourhood continued. Save for the few people also enjoying a stroll, or perhaps going back home, there weren't many people around. I felt lucky, it made me feel like me and Rika-san alone ruled the streets…

I found it fascinating how our life stories carried some similar elements. The importance of manga, the school bullying and feeling the crushing pressure of gender roles… I wondered if I should share these points with her. Would she feel a bit less alone in this? Sometimes just knowing that helped, after all.

"Rika-san… If you don't mind it, could I share some stuff about myself, too? There were some aspects in your story where I felt a resemblance to my own life." Her eyes widened with interest. "Wait, for real? Please tell me, if you don't mind sharing." I smiled. "I know many things about you now, don't I? It's only fair."

Our footsteps echoed in the serene street. I looked to my side, to a random point, recalling back the memories. "First things first… I'm sure you realized my love for manga by now—I too have been a fan since my childhood, cute shoujo manga series in particular. Magical, romantic, dramatic, sparkling—all that stuff. Well… I guess something normal for girls all around the country was unnatural when I did it, only because I happened to be a boy.

"Similar sentiments followed me all my life. The things I liked, the fashion styles I liked, and even my personality—everyone seemed to have a problem with them, save for my mother and two close friends." Now it was her turn to have a concerned look on her face. I felt a bit bad, but I thought that sharing these would be for the best. I needed her to know my thankfulness towards her, and that'd be better with context.

"Once middle school happened, the support of my loved ones couldn't exactly protect me against all the bullying going on. I was constantly ridiculed just for… existing as myself. Even some of my teachers had called me for a private talk, telling me that a boy in his teenage years shouldn't act like me and have my interests…"

Rika-san gently patted my arm. "God, Yuuma-kun… That's awful… I can't believe even the adults around you failed you…" I grinned, bitter. "Heh… Being in that sensitive age, all of this caused me to act up and become rather rebellious. I joined bad friend groups. I dyed my hair, tried to wear 'manly' and 'bad boyish' clothes. I removed all the color from my life, I even changed my speech patterns, and got into fights…" I hid my face behind my hands. "Aaargh, so embarrassing to think back…! I was such an embarrassment to my mom and friends…!!!" Rika-san chuckled softly. "The delinquent Yuuma-kun? I'd like like to see it…" But then her voice took on a more serious tone. "Oh, but don't misunderstand. I'm not making fun of you, or taking your pain lightly. It must have been a very difficult era for you."

I lowered my hands, away from my reddened face. "Yeah, it sure was. Once, I was having a very rowdy argument with another student out in the street, and suddenly it hit me how foolish all of this was. None of this was what I wanted. A small child had started crying hearing my angry voice… and it brought me back to the real world. This couldn't continue anymore."

Rika-san let out a touched 'aww' sound, and kept on listening. "It's… not like things were easy afterwards, I went back to a 'normal' and 'expected' style and behavior—but that just made me feel empty inside. I got good grades, wore plain clothes, and put on a polite façade. I still wasn't happy. I yearned for the true colors of my soul. Not to mention…" I sighed, scratching my neck. "Despite that, people still made fun of me for looking like a girl. As if that's something bad in the first place…?" I grumbled.

I heard Rika-san say "You're such a warrior, Yuuma-kun." with an admiring voice.

…huh?

I immediately turned my neck to look towards her, and she blessed my sight with a beautiful smile. "Could you tell me how you came all the way here?" She politely gestured at my dress. "It takes guts to be one's true self in this unnecessarily cruel world. How would you get here, after all that?" I stopped my steps, and took a deep breath, remembering all the experiences of the last three months. A proud feeling overcame me. I had come a long way, hadn't I? The reason for that was none other than…

"Love."

I let out my deep breath with a sweet sigh. "With love. That's how I came here. All the love from my friends, and even my coworkers. Their gentle care illuminated my path, and inspired me to love and accept myself, as I am.

"I… had a period of time when I felt so lonely, so wrong. As if no one would love me like this. I had the wrong idea, though. I was loved. Even as my incomplete, lost self." I turned towards her, and gently brought my hands towards her. She held them, completing the gesture. "You… became a great inspiration for me. A source of motivation. A great role model to look up to. Now that I know that your confidence comes from such a road of pain, I just admire you more and more. Thank you."

She shook her head, with a flustered grin. "Oh, you~ Don't you know that it was you who ignited my path of healing? You showed me what true love and passion is. You're the one who illuminated my way to get out of that doomed relationship. You are just so…" Her words got cut out from the sudden boom of a thunder. Considering the loudness and closeness in the flash that preceded it, it could easily be said that we were at the center point of a sudden summer storm. We let go of our hands quickly.

"What's this now? Yuuma-kun, did you check the forecast for tonight?" I hastily checked my phone screen, as the early drops of rainfall descended from the skies. "I didn't… but look—it shows a huge thunderstorm for tonight!"

So that's why the streets were quieter than usual– who would go out with such weather coming up?!

I looked around for a place to hide under, but we were at a place with only houses, it'd be bad to enter their private area!! The rainfall was almost instant, and we had nowhere to go!!! While I was frantically thinking what to do, Rika-san grabbed my hand and started pulling me. "R-Rika-san?!"

She was pulling me rather strongly—I had no choice but to follow her lead. She shouted, "A five-minute run to the nearest train station. Let's go~!"

We started running under the heavy, heavy rainfall. It was no joke, we were completely wet in under twenty seconds! Between the almost deafening thunder booms, I called out to her. "Rika-san, your hair…?" She had just come from the hairdresser today, it'd be all messed up by the end of this…! She just kept on running.

With an exhilarated laugh, she replied "Who cares about that!!! Just keep on running, hahaha!!!"

Before too long, I had joined her laughter from how absurd yet thrilling this whole situation was. With my hand in hers, I ran forward; laughing together like two crazy people.

It felt amazing.

I never thought an intense thunderstorm like this could ever be a fun experience. All the noise, all the rainfall, getting drenched from head to toe, the silly feeling that came from helplessness—it all just felt great.

All thanks to the person guiding me forward, for sure.