The tension between softened gazes

She stood within pitch-black darkness, glancing at seemingly nothing in particular. Yet, Aelem could tell that inside the shadow, the will of a strangling force lurked quietly. The air around her was cold, and her heart panged constantly with a near-crippling ache that made it seem as if it would burst at any moment. Tingles settled on the back of her neck like pinpricks, and the underside of her eyes began to emanate a dull pain as if she had skipped out on sleep.

Suddenly, within the darkness, glittering ruby-like orbs emerged, dancing like flames within the shade. They were the eyes of a beast, and because they were looking straight at Aelem, she could tell that they were about as large as her head. So close to her, the beast let out a heavy breath, which felt warm as it washed back her ruffled hair. The smell was of carrion and rotting fish, like a seaside of corpses and bloodied sand.

“You’re…” She spoke with fearful eyes, her voice not able to do anything more than murmur under the weight of the monster’s presence.

“You’re not worth power in the slightest.” The monster spoke in a cruel, sandpaper voice. “A fledgling like you could never learn to fly. You have no purpose.”

“How can you say that, when you see with my eyes, and feel what my skin feels!” She shouted suddenly. “When my cheeks grow warm, and my heart beats, can that not be called purpose!?”

"That purpose could be greater than mine? Something so childish?"

"Your purpose harms others..." Aelem shook her head. "At least in my useless life, the only one harmed is myself."

“You live a life behind a glass curtain.” He continued to mock her. “You’re a spectacle of mockery for those that live the life you desperately wish for.”

“But that’s it- I’m allowed to wish, aren’t I…?” She bit at her tongue, trying desperately to hold the tears in once more.

Yet, despite her attempts, they began to run down her blushed cheeks, warm against the cold bite of the air around her.

“So as long as I can wish…” She cried out, “I would wish only to be a normal woman...”

The monster sneered at her declaration.

“When the seal breaks, I will show you that your wishes are falsities. You can never be normal.”

—

She awoke within the quiet of the night, no birds left to chirp, their roles filled by the owls who hummed quietly into the still air.

‘Hoot, hoot,’ they would chirp.

The crickets tried desperately to reply, and the waving of the wildflowers in the garden sounded out, but nothing could have been louder in the cacophony of midnight than the muffled cries of the vermilion woman.

Her bed had been dressed with softened linens, and her pillows ruffled so that she may have cried into them. Holding it close, she let her sobs fall into the patchwork cloth, soaking it gently with her tearfall.

“I cannot escape…” She cried out. “Even the sleep I have longed to experience is plagued by nightmare…”

The moon had bathed the room in a bright-blue glow, the candlelight at her bedside long-extinguished. There was a book beside her that had been lent to her, but as far as Aelem could consider her skills, reading was not one of them. So, it was left to sit and collect dust; it was a consideration Aelem had not afforded.

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door. Her head shot up from where she had been crying, and desperately she tried to wipe the tears away from her face. Although, with a blushed expression, reddened eyes, and cheeks plastered with dried sadness, it was near-impossible to remove the mask of her grief.

Standing in the doorway, holding the grace of lamplight within his softened hands, was the Knight gilded with gold.

“It was a long day, wasn’t it, Ms. La’arte?” He spoke with a softened smile. “Are you all right…?”

Aelem shook her head in response.

“I’m fine.” She replied in a hushed tone. “Really, it’s nothing you can help me with…”

“May I come in?” He asked of her, and she nodded simply in response.

He stepped inside the room, and sat at her bedside. They met gazes for a moment, and without hesitation, she let herself fall limp against his chest.

“Sorry, but can I stay like this for a moment…?” She asked of him. “My pillow has naught of warmth…”

“You may be the only person in the world that wishes their pillow was warm, Ms. La’arte.” He laughed softly.

He wrapped his arm around her head, pulling her in closely as he smiled.

“I’m sorry you had to go through so much today. It’s hard for me to keep up with Lace and Howl sometimes…”

She looked up towards him, parting her lips as if to speak.

“It’s not their fault, so don’t be so quick to blame them…” Aelem spoke softly, placing a hand against his cheek. “They saved me.”

She bit at her lip, her gaze falling towards shadow as her irises dulled. Her heart felt heavy, when its hollowness had been filled with bittersweet memories. To be a marionette of no significant existence, she wondered if wandering without security would fail to afford her the harsh double-edge of feeling feelings.

"Although, if this is the outcome of my existence, then maybe they're all telling truths..." Aelem shook her head. "Maybe I'm better off dying so everyone can forget about their worries and live in peace..."

"I do not think that." He smiled simply in response.

"Do you think I'm dangerous, Sir?" She asked of him.

"I think you're no danger at all." He spoke in turn, placing his hand against her cheek in parallel. "And you needn't call me 'sir'."

Quietly, she leaned forward, her head bent upwards to meet his, and with hesitation, she hung her gaze afront to his. Her cheeks were blush underneath the lamplight, as warm as his grasp around her had been in that moment.

"Can I want things, Mr. doll?" She asked of him.

"You have every right-" He spoke shakily, eyeing her with flustered demeanor as he glanced downwards. “-to want things, as a person... you are a woman, before you are a Leviathan, aren’t you?”

Her eyes held shock in that moment. The heaviness had started to seep away, as if her heart was a basin that had been emptied out, only to be filled with a light fluttering she couldn’t readily dismiss.

Quickly, without caution, she placed her lips upon his.

It wasn’t as if she had been taught such a thing by a mother, sister, or even a friend. All she could do, all she had ever been able to do, was observe, and long for. A kiss, an embrace, to feel as if she were no more than a woman- and all that entailed, were things she wanted to grasp with both hands and never let go.

His lips were soft, and tasted of freshly-peeled fruit, a delicacy she had only been offered when he had taken charge of her.

Amidst the cricket chirp, the howling of the owls, and the waving of the wildflowers outside her window, she felt her heart flutter like butterflies as she pulled away from the Knight. Her face was bright-red, and her heart felt as if it would burst out of her chest. But still, she felt a warmth that was completely different to that which she had felt before.

In his arms, she had begun to feel less like the ‘her’ she knew herself to be, and more like the ‘her’ she wished to be.