Who Are You?

I arrive at home and enter my room. On the bed, I sit while thinking about the invitation before. Should I join their band? There is too much I need to think about. I don’t know if I can sing confidently on the stage with the band. But maybe this is a chance to know if I improve my singing and to know how the feeling to sing with other people. I took my phone and looked up about one of the famous bands on how their performance. I take my earphones and plug in my phone. I play the song. For the intro, I can heard the riff sound from electric guitar. It’s so cool! When it arrives at chorus, I feel I have been swayed by the ocean of emotion. Is this how the feeling performs in the band? I think I will really consider joining their band. I called Kai that night too to tell him my answer to his invitation. He was so happy to hear about that. He said the band will start practicing this week too. I said that I will join the practice too.

The practice will be do during the weekend. We will practice at Haru’s house as he has big space for us at his house. Everyone including me and Ai came to the practice that day. Ai said she was so curious to see how a newly made band would perform. Kai and the band mate take their place and pick up their instruments. I was asked by Kai to be a main vocalist. I stand with the microphone in front of me. Ai sitting at the corner of room while watching us. The song we will play is the band’s first written song. I listened to this song before I came here. This song is so crazy! How can I match up my voice with Kai’s voice? Can I really sing this song? Never mind! I will try my best to sing this song. Then, the first practice begins. Not everything starts smoothly. I sang the wrong part of the song that caused Haru to lose his rhythm when drumming. We stopped and discussed again how the song was sung. Again, I miss my tempo that made me panic and forgot the lyrics. We stop again and continue the practice. This happens every time we are practicing. Until one day, when it just two weeks before festival begin…

“Nakamura-san, I think you should withdraw from this performance.”

“Wait, Jun! We should give her one more chance! Don’t you think so, Taro?”

“Kai, this time, I agree with Jun. We have practice for almost two months. But we don’t have any improvements. Nakamura-san always make a mistake that cause us to get to practice enough and its so distracting, and I think we should just done this by ourselves,” explain Taro.

“Are you guys crazy? We should perform with Yuka-chan! Her voice was like an angel’s whisper. I can melt when hear her voice! I declare that we must perform with Yuka-chan!” said Haru.

“Haru, you want to perform with Nakamura-san just because you want her to become your girlfriend, right. Kai, did you like Nakamura-san too.”

Jun’s question caught me off guard.

“Wait!? I don’t s-say t-that I l-like her?!” said Kai.

“Your reaction is enough for us Kai. We will make the vote now. Everyone excluding Nakamura-san will vote if she should perform with us or not. Ai, how about you join us in this vote too?” ask Taro.

“Yeah! Yuka don’t worry! I will always support you! Believe me, okay?”

“Alright Ai!”

I feel so happy know that Ai will support me. If I look from this situation, likely I will win this vote. Kai, Haru and Ai voted for me to join this band. Meanwhile, Taro and Jun disagree about my involvement in this band. I will win this.

“Everyone writes your vote on paper and put it inside this box!” said Taro.

Luck is not on my side. The result end with me will withdraw from this band. I thought I will win the vote. Why did there are four people vote for me to withdraw from this band? Did Kai and the bandmate disapprove of my involvement? I thought I should believe them. Why does this happen?

“So, from today, Nakamura Yuka, you don’t need to come for practice anymore. Thank you for the commitment you have given during practice. I’m so sorry but this is majority’s decision,” said Taro.

“D-don’t mind a-about me! I know that I should not join this band since earlier. Thank you for the chance you have given to me.”

This is so sad. I just think how amazing it would be if I could perform with them together. This is the end of the journey. Kai then approached me.

“Nakamura-san, can you come with me alone? There is something I need to tell you.”

“Okay, Kai.”

Is it about the vote earlier? Behind Haru’s house, Kai was looking at me so passionately.

“Nakamura Yuka! I like you! Can you dating with me?”

Is he serious? Why he suddenly confessing to me?

“You don’t need to give me an answer now. I will wait until the school festival ends. By then, I hope you can give me the answer. Sorry but now I need to go to the practice. See you again, Nakamura-san!”

Kai left me with questionable act. Did he just want to comfort me after voting for me to withdraw from the band?

“Yuka, lets go back home now!”

“Okay, Ai!”

Fortunately, I have a best friend that always supports me. She is Ai. Wakamiya Ai.

“What are you doing behind Haru’s house earlier, Yuka?”

“I j-just want to know how big his house is. There is nothing happen there.”

I will tell her later about Kai’s confession.

“Really? Alright then! But it’s so unfortunate that you can’t join the band anymore, Yuka.”

“Right? I thought that I would stay. But I really appreciate your support, Ai. Thank you for that.”

“Don’t worry! ‘I will always support you’… that you want to hear from me, right?”

Suddenly, Ai’s expression changes again. It’s the same expression that I have see before.

“Why are you saying like that, Ai?”

“Do you really think with your skill, you can perform in the band especially with Kai?! I don’t think your skill is nowhere near Kai’s skill. Last year’s performance also just a luck. If you don’t change your appearance, I don’t think that you can got that kind of applause.”

“But you said that I sung very well and proud with me back then.”

“It just a-c-t. You know that? During practice with the band, you always make the same mistake such as singing out of tune, singing in wrong key, missing your tempo, and forgetting the lyrics. You should realize it now that you are not good singer.”

“But during that time, I was so nervous. That is my first time to perform with the band.”

“Yuka, can you just stop with that ‘first time’? I feel so annoyed now. Especially knowing that Kai confesses to you.”

“Did you know about that too, Ai?”

“Did you think I am so stupid? His behavior toward you is different from how he is talking with other girls enough to make me understand. I was near Haru’s back house when Kai confesses to you.”

Why she is like this?

“Yuka, by the way I am the one of the people who to vote you to get out from the band.”

“Wait?! I thought you would always support me. We are best friend, right?”

“You should throw that ‘best friend’ term away from your life. You never try to understand me. When you start to become more popular, you rarely spend time with me. You always spend time with other classmates. I like Kai but you are the one he likes. How good your life can be? Did your mom teach you how to behave with your best friend like this?”

When she talks about mom, I can feel my anger suddenly increase. Without knowing, I slap her face so hard.

“You should not say that about my mom! You never know what happened in my family! Don’t you act as you know anything about me!”

I can’t suppress my anger anymore. I let out everything from inside my heart.

“Right. I don’t know anything about you. That’s why you and I should not become friends anymore. Goodbye.”

“Wait, Ai! I don’t mean it like that!”

As she can’t heard me, she continue walking and left me behind alone. I thought everything would be fine. But why did this happen to me? What’s really wrong in my life?