Chapter 15:

Yowie Hunt ep 9: Sussy baka werewolf

The Shiruka Collection


"Great, so we all have to play a dumb game," I groaned.

I groaned even louder when I noticed everyone that was playing. In addition to me and Dumbee, Beans, the wildebeest, Lime green bodysuit guy, KetsuKetsu, a nomad, the panda, Shitty Sal, and that piece of shit Frenchman were participating..

Dammit! We were so close to the Yowie too, but that idiot just had to rope us into this dumb game.

Suddenly, Sir Worthsworth and Richelieu appeared.

"Now everyone, I have consulted with the mythical Richelieu. Apparently, there is a werewolf amongst you. Fear not, Richelieu has told me there is a way to eliminate the dastardly fiend. You must "find the sussy baka" is what he told me. Each of you shall get to press this button to call a meeting once. During a meeting, you will be safe from harm and given the chance to vote on who you think the werewolf is. Be careful not to vote out your own though. If you can identify the fiend before your numbers are reduced to three or complete all the objectives, all of you, but the werewolf shall win and be revived at no cost. You will also win a prize. But if the werewolf isn't caught and successfully destroys the safety mechanism, he alone wins," Sir Worthsworth stated.

"As for you bitch, I'll fully restore your brain cell counter, though if you lose you're gonna be in the red bitch!" Richelieu said to me.

So this is essentially a high risk high reward type deal. If everyone here weren't so dumb, maybe I'd have a chance. Wait, if everyone here is so dumb, I could win if I'm the werewolf.

"Oh yeah, you can't use weapons and you're not the werewolf. The werewolf was already a werewolf before entering. This ain't like that video game bitch!" Richelieu sneered telepathically to me.

Richelieu and Sir Worthsworth then departed.

30 seconds later, the game began.

Dumbee immediately pressed the button.

"I think the old British man's the werewolf," Dumbee smiled.

"HE'S NOT AN OPTION YOU IDIOT!" I yelled.

"Hon hon hon! It seems you are on edge. Perhaps you are ze werewolf," the Frenchman taunted.

I REALLY HATE THAT BASTARD!

"I think the kangaroo is the sussy baka," the panda smirked.

"Dante ez sus!" Beans laughed.

"Guys, let's just skip the vote. We should walk around and clear our heads," I suggested.

"Sounds good mate, let's stroll," Dumbee agreed.

Luckily, everyone skipped the vote, except for that damn Frenchman who voted for me.

Dumbee and I paired up and went to complete the objectives. I was luckily able to get him to stand guard while I completed the tasks. Unfortunately, it appeared I was the only one getting tasks done.

As I left, I saw KetsuKetsu running around frantically. I rounded the corner to see the corpse of Shitty Sal. Luckily, just like in the video game this event was based off of, I could trigger a meeting by touching the corpse.

"Why are we all here?" Lime green bodysuit guy asked.

"I discovered a corpse. Dumbee and I saw Ketsuketsu running away from it. I think he's the werewolf," I stated.

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu!" Ketsuketsu argued

"He says he's innocent," Lime green bodysuit guy stated.

"I think he's the sussy baka. I'm voting for him," I growled.

No one ended up getting voted off, though I voted for Ketsuketsu while the Frenchman once again voted for me.

We all walked around again. Suddenly, we were all called back to the meeting room. Apparently, the nomad had been killed.

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu!" Ketsuketsu stated as he pointed at the panda.

"He says it's you. You are the werewolf!" Lime green bodysuit guy argued.

"No way! I was just dancin!" the panda argued.

"Yeah, I think it's Ketsuketsu," I argued.

"Nah, it's you asshole!" the panda growled as he pointed at me.

"OK then asshole."

I received two votes from the panda and the Frenchman, while I and everyone else voted for the panda.

The panda screamed as he was thrown in a pool of lava and burned to death.

A message reading,"Panda was NOT the sussy baka werewolf" appeared before us.

"Yeah, it's Ketsuketsu," I growled as I hit the button.

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu!" Ketsuketsu argued

"You lied! That's two strikes already against you!"

"Then let us give him get a third strike before he's voted out," the wildebeest argued.

Sadly everyone but me and the Frenchman skipped the vote.

After walking around for a bit, we were called back. Lime green bodysuit guy had been killed.

"HE TRUSTED YOU! STRIKE THREE YOU'RE OUT ASSHOLE!" I yelled at Ketsuketsu.

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu!" Ketsuketsu argued

"I don't know what he said mate," Dumbee sighed.

"Who cares!? His ass is guilty!" I yelled.

"If we can't hear his argument, we must give him the benefit of the doubt," the wildebeest argued.

The vote ended with just me and the Frenchman casting a vote.

As we walked away, Dumbee and I got separated. When I retraced my steps, he was dead.

A surge of happiness overcame me as I shouted with joy.

"Why are you so amused?" the wildebeest sighed as he walked up.

"CAUSE THIS IDIOT'S THE REASON I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH SO MUCH HELL!" I shouted.

*STAB*

We turned to see Ketsuketsu's corpse fall out of the darkness.

Well shit, there goes my theory.

                                                                                 ...

Me, the wildebeest,Beans and the Frenchman stared at each other.

"I was with wildebeest, it couldn't be him," I stated.

"Non non non! It ez you! I can sense ze murderous intent," the Frenchman taunted.

"Yeah, I think it's you."

The vote deadlocked at two votes for me, two for the Frenchman.

As we dispersed, I came face to face with the Frenchman.

"It ez not me. It ez Beans. I saw him crawl through ze vent," the Frenchman stated.

"Then why have you been voting for me EVERY DAMN TIME!?" I shouted.

"To taunt you you son of a raspberry."

"Whatever, I don't care. Might as well chance it. If one more person gets killed, we lose."

Suddenly, the Frenchman turned into a werewolf holding a knife. I hopped away as fast as I could to the button, but since I had already used up my press, I couldn't trigger the meeting.

"Hon hon hon! You failed ze test. Well off to visit your mother!" the Frenchman taunted.

A fanfare sounded as I was brutally stabbed to death by that bastard.

When I was revived outside along with Dumbee, I only had 100 brain cells left.

"Looks like we lost mate. Wanna play again?" Dumbee asked.

"NO! WE'RE GOING TO FIND THAT FUCKING YOWIE AND ASK HIM YOUR DAMN QUESTION NOW!" I shouted as I grabbed Dumbee and hopped as fast as I could to the cave.

                                                                          ...

"No-bu-to!" a woman's voice rang out.

Shiruka turned to see a woman with long lavender hair wearing a revealing silk dress and snazzy sneakers standing before him. It was his old assistant Fumiyo Sakaguro.

"Oh hey, Fumi, what brings you here? Hate to break it to you but there isn't much erotic stuff in this show that would turn you on," Shiruka sneered.

"I'm mad you just transferred magazines without telling me," Fumiyo pouted.

"Well it was kinda sudden. Besides, I thought you sealed yourself away to come up with new ero novel ideas."

"I hit writers block, so I emerged from bondage."

"Wow you're hot!" the director cooed as he walked over.

"Sorry, Nobuto's the only guy I'll let impregnate me, otherwise I'm into girls," Fumiyo replied.

"Grr, _! Shiruka sensei actually forgot to mention something. There WAS a really erotic scene in an early episode."

"Oh yeah, Ketsuketsu smacking Shitty Sal's ass with a paddle," Shiruka snickered.

"NO! I'm talking about how we smeared vegemite all over Daigoro -san then had him french kiss Dumbee."

"You encased that hot hunk in Vegemite bondage!? Wait, YAOI FRENCH KISS!?" Fumiyo excitedly asked.

"I thought you weren't into guys."

"Doesn't mean I don't get aroused by seeing or imagining hot guys in ero situations. Think you can use me as a demonstration for what you did to Daigoro with the Vegemite?" Fumiyo asked as she began to undress.

                                                                    ...

The editor trembled with fury as he stared at the set.

"And what the hell is THIS!?" he growled.

"The sussy baka. That's what," Shiruka sneered.

"Mmmph ngh mmph," Fumiyo annoyingly mumbled.

She had been completely encased in Vegemite, while wearing a kangaroo suit without the mask. Her head and face were visible, but were covered in Vegemite along with her hair.

"Ugh, did you forget we had to throw a kangaroo suit out after you ruined it with Vegemite!?" the editor fumed.

"Well now that's one male kangaroo costume and one female kangaroo costume sent to the trash," Shiruka smirked as he plopped the kangaroo mask on Fumiyo and began smearing Vegemite all over it.

"One more episode of this hell, one more episode of this hell," the editor muttered as he stormed off.

"One more, and I can't wait to see your reaction to it," Shiruka sneered.

Mario Nakano 64
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