Chapter 1:

Chapter 1- Isekai...?

Mr. Helper doesn't wanna help

‘Am I dead?’ I asked myself.

I could see nothing and my body seem to be drifting in the void of darkness.
The last thing I remember was the taste of that giant yakuza’s fist which not gonna lie but it tasted like takoyaki. Guess not such a bad ending.

Definitely lingering in the void of darkness was a much better alternative than struggling in my world with that stupid curse.

Just when I was thinking, when a small light sparked in amidst the darkness and I felt getting pulled towards that light. The small spark of light slowly got bigger and soon sucked me in.

Just when I slowly opened my eyes after getting blinded by the light.
My eyes were blurry but it felt as if my head was on something soft and it also smelt kinda nice.

“Oh, you finally decided to awake. Master.” suddenly a feminine females voice echoed in my ears.

I gently opened my eyes to see a beautiful girl looking at me from above with a bright smile, very close to my face.
She had beautiful green short hair and beautiful blue eyes. The next thing I saw was those giant bosom of hers.

I couldn’t help but panic.
“Ah!! I am so sorry!” I cried out loud.
It was then I realized I was sleeping on a girl’s lap.

I quickly got up and kowtowed in front of her.
“I don’t know how I ended up on your lap. Please don’t charge any sexual assault, I am just good for nothing hobo.”

Last thing I want any more criminal offenses, although I have to admit I kinda had a nice view from that lap. It was almost like heaven.

Just when I was kowtowing I realized I was sitting on the grassy lawn.
Where am I?

“What are you talking about master?” asked the girl, “You don’t need to apologize for using my lap as a pillow.”

I raised my head in complete confusion. Master? Who she referring to.
I looked around my surroundings but there was no one beside us. Just long grassy meadows.

Wasn’t I in a city just now?

“What’s the matter, master? You look kinda pale” said the girl as she got awfully closer and touched my cheeks while gazing me in the eyes.

I was flustered,
“Um… I am okay. But you are too close.”

And her boobs were touching my chest!

“I don’t mind it at all.” replied the girl cheekily.

I quickly shrugged her away and backed away,
“You can’t fool me. I know you are planning something. There’s no way a girl would approach and flirt with a hobo like myself. What are you planning behind those deceitful charades of yours? And tell me where am I while you’re at it.”

I took a fighting stance trying to be intimidating as much as I could.
Suddenly waking on a beautiful girl’s lap and on top of that she even flirts with a hobo like me. What is she planning? Is she gonna seduce me then sell my organs for money? That could be it.

The girl smiled,
“Oh my. I forgot to mention this but I know that you were in a quite rough situation in your past life. But you needn’t worry now I will be here to take care of you.”

Wait, what?
Hold on. HOOOOLD ON!

“Excuse me. What do you mean by past life?” I asked her.

The girl smiled at me,
“Oh, you have died and reincarnated in the new world. I will be your servant to teach and guide you in the way of our new world. Let’s get along from now on, master.”

What the hell, I am in another world?
So I really died and now I even got a hot chic as her as my servant.
Oh, my fucking GAWD!

I can’t believe it.

I always thought the Isekai genre was to stereotype and this time I am gonna take it back.
This is as if I am some kinda light novel protagonist from some light novel.
I’m so happy that I could even kiss the author of my light novel if I see him (no homo).

I checked myself out and my clothes were also different.
I was wearing an adventure light armor and had a sword sheathed around the hip.

Fuck finally, free from the curse.
Let’s start a new adventure.

“Alright, so why was I summoned here?” I asked the girl.

The girl smiled and put her arms around my neck.
“I’ll tell you why-”

And all of a sudden she started strangling my neck.
I couldn’t breathe at all!

I tried to free myself from her grip.
But she was ridiculously strong. The fuck is she with this strength is she a champion arm wrestler?

“Wake up!” she screamed at my face.
Then all of a sudden she headbutted right on my fucking face.

“Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me!” I screamed like a bitch.

“Oh, so our sleeping snow white finally decided to wakeup.”

Suddenly a macho guy dressed in a suit was standing before me.
He had grabbed me by the neck and my cheeks were pretty swollen.
He woke me up after slapping so hard.

This resurrected me from my isekai fantasy.

Wait for a second, where the hell am I?

“Um, who are you? And what place is this?” I asked as I glanced around my surroundings.
I was in a dark damp place and it looked like some kind of jail in a dungeon or something. Is this also the Isekai nightmare phase going on? I hope it better end.

The macho mysterious guy finally loosened his grip from my neck.
“Oh the first thing after waking up, is boss around huh? You got a lot of nerve.” replied the guy.

Of course, I would question, that what most sane human beings do.

The mysterious guy stood up straight and took out a cigarette from his pocket along with lighter.
After taking a whiff from his cigarette.

“Welcome to the Bunrakukai gang’s hideout. I am your host and interrogator Imamura Katsuhito.” he introduced himself with a smug smile, “You got balls for attacking one of our members when on duty.”

I am still alive?!
Fuck this isn’t a fucking isekai light novel?