Cal and Arno Go for a Soak

After removing myself from the trash, I started making my way back to the inn. As much as I would have liked to just cut my losses with Erika and return to the West Kingdom, I couldn't even if I wanted to. Since my existence was completely dependent on Erika's life force, it was physically impossible for me to leave the city. The further I got from Erika, the weaker I would become to the point where I couldn't even function.

I'd also rather not have to wait fifty to sixty years for her seal to weaken so I could transfer it to a new host either. That only left me with one option. I'd have to somehow get her back... possibly by force if I had to.

As I began pondering my next moves, I happened to walk past a tavern, which I'd assumed with the festival going on was one of the few open ones in the city... Suddenly a set of doors from the business were flung open.

"Get out! You're cut off." The tavern's bartender shouted.

"Aw come on I'm not even drunk yet." The young man who was thrown out said.

*SLAM* *click*

The bartender slammed the doors in his face and locked them. The young man by sheer coincidence happened to be a familiar face.

"Cal?" I said.

Cal's face lit up as he looked in my direction.

"Is that you Arno!? Ha, I never thought I'd run into you of all people here in Unko. Can you believe that old guy kicked me out just because I drank his entire supply of sake... it's not my fault I have a high alcohol tolerance."

I never thought I'd actually be happy to see this alcoholic alchemist. After Erika and I rejected him from joining our party after our ordeal with the mafia last month, he still remained in Stercusville, where he managed to be as annoying as possible with his bad habits of binge drinking and harassing women.

"Why are you in the East Kingdom?" I said.

He chuckled a bit.

"Ha, It's a bit of a long story, but essentially last week, I sort of accidentally ingested a toxic mushroom that causes... how do I put this... firey diarrhea... and when I say 'firey', I mean it literally."

I quick interjected,

"What exactly does that have to do with you being here?"

"I'm just getting to that... so the only way to counteract the fire diarrhea mushrooms is to lick a very rare type of frog. Luckily, I happen to know a guy in this city who deals in exotic reptiles and amphibians. I packed up my things, as well as several rolls of paper towels and some burn ointment and made the long and painful journey here. After I managed to lick that frog, I decided to spend the week hitting up all the taverns in this city, while I let my butt heal... Now the question is, what are you doing here and where is Erika?"

I signed,

"It's a long story for me too..."

I proceeded to bring him up to speed on everything that occurred since Erika and I arrived here yesterday.

"...Wait, Erika is now technically the leader of this entire country!? I heard someone mention earlier that a westerner challenged the shogun, but I never would have thought it was Erika."

"Yes and now she's essentially cast me aside." I said.

"What are you going to do now?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out."

*Sniff* *Sniff*

Cal's eyes became glazed over.

"Ah, you reek. You smell like you just crawled out of a dumpster."

"I did... twice." I responded bluntly.

Cal turned and gestured for me to follow him.

"I say we go for a soak. That will at least fix one of your problems."

"A soak?" I said, confused.

"Yeah come on."

✨✨✨

*Splash*

"Don't be shy Arno, hop in." Cal said as he threw himself into an indoor hot spring completely nude.

"I think I'm good." I responded.

"Come on, you don't have to worry about anyone seeing you, I rented this place out for the next few hours. Why are you even wearing a towel anyways? You're a skeleton, there's nothing to cover up."

Cal laughed obnoxiously, while reclining back under a bamboo shoot that had warm water pouring from it. I supposed he had a point. I began wading my way into the water.

"How can you even afford to rent this whole place out? Ever since the Western Mafia was busted last month, I assumed you were out of the job." I said.

"I have plenty of other ways of making money. Believe it or not, trading rare herbs and other types of plants is actually quite profitable. Even before I began working with the Mafia, I had plenty of other side hustles."

I was now submerged up to my shoulders in the water. This was the first time I've had the opportunity to bathe since becoming undead. I didn't have any muscles or tendons or even nerves for that matter, so whether the water was scalding hot or freezing cold it wouldn't make a difference, since I wouldn't be able to feel it either way.

"I haven't been particularly lucky with my money. Erika essentially robbed me earlier and now I don’t have a cent on me. She left most of her belongings back at the inn though, including that stupid wand of her's. I'm considering possibly selling it to a pawn shop." I said.

"Ah, you just need to learn how to take it easy, Arno. You're always so up tight. Knowing Erika, she'll probably lose interest in this Shogun thing in a day or two and come back on her own."

"I'm not so sure about that."

Cal suddenly got a mischievous grin.

"Stick with me Arno, I'm going to show you how to have a good time."

If only I wasn't a thrall, I wouldn't have to play along with idiots like Erika or Cal with their nonsense. "Having a good time" wasn't going to help me conquer the world. Unfortunately, at the moment I was a bit down on my luck, I really had no choice but to just stick with Cal for the time being.