Call Me

Years ago, I was pirating the English dub episode four of Kill la Kill on my phone (the one with the guest animator) on some website I’d never used before. (I can’t remember the name and I don’t want to.) I don’t typically pirate, not for any moral reason, just partly ‘cause it’s kinda unintuitive, and partly because of the events that occurred on this random day so long ago.

Many details in this story will be wrong. It might’ve just been the mind of a stressed teenager making things up that weren’t really there- I’d seen hallucinations before, or what I thought were hallucinations, and my memory isn’t always the best either. But it’s also possible I’m not alone in this story. Hey, worst case scenario, this has happened to you, too, and it’s just a completely normal thing people who pirate more than I do just have to put up with. Again, I have no idea. But either way, this moment kinda stuck with me. Even though stranger things have gone on in my life both before and after this, nothing quite like that day has ever struck me since.

I don’t know how far I got into the episode before the first pop up appeared. (Or- maybe I finished it? It’s possible I was just about to start episode five, that click could’ve been what triggered it) A small white box, using my phone’s interface like a “You’re our 10000000th Customer!” scam.

 Call Me

>Yes  >No

I hit “No” instantly, figuring that’d be the end of it, but the damn thing showed up again.

 Call Me

>Yes  >No

I hit it again. Now I was getting annoyed.

 Call Me

>Yes  >No

After hitting “No” about four more times, I was ready to give up my anime sesh and close the page. Only, I didn’t have enough time between when I tapped “No” and when

 Call Me

>Yes  >No

I spammed “No” so many times my finger hurt. I tried powering off my phone but when it came back on the popups were still there. I became scared. Would my phone be like this forever? What would I do without my phone? Would I have to show my parents that I got a weird creepypasta virus while pirating gay boobie anime?

 Call Me

>Yes  >No

Desperate, I hit finally yes. A call immediately began on my phone, a man’s voice erupting deeply from my earbuds, monotone, and yet, breathy and deranged like he was furiously masturbating on the other end.

“Call me. Call me. Call me. Call me. Call me-“

I hung up, fucking scared out of my mind. This is the part I’m the least sure about- part of me thinks that this voice was coming from my own head, as I’d been repeating that phrase in it constantly from reading all the popups. I hope that’s the case, and it’s probably more likely, but Jesus Christ if I wasn’t still terrified by it.

My phone was fine after that…? I was super thankful, so much that most of the fear washed away. This is what a lot of days already felt like, coping with anxiety and all the other stuff I had going on that I didn’t even know about yet. Dread, terror, then release. It wasn’t all that alien to me, really.

That was actually the second time I’d ever tried to watch Kill la Kill after dropping it once. I’ve finished it by now- one of my favorites, I really adore and identify with Ryuko- but every now and then when I rewatch it legally I think back on this weird fever dream nightmare experience I had. What a day.