Chapter 17:
Just East of Eden
A five-Sunday month. One of the calendar’s little oddities that doesn’t really affect anyone’s life beyond making them go ‘huh, that’s kinda neat’ and serving as the opening sentence for yet another day in the life of Lucille.
She currently sat in a lawn chair on the porch of Jackie’s rented house in the city. Said renter currently shut her radio off in disgust - the Sox were down big in the 8th, no further point in listening. Rather than blast trap music out of a speaker, Lucille and Jackie just sat there in silence, enjoying the stillness of summer, watching the quiet city street in front of them, a row of three-story houses on the other side. A train rumbled into the city somewhere in the distance; the sky was the color of orange sherbet and purple cotton candy; today featured a laid back sort of hot, sunny day that marks the transition from midsummer to late summer.
“Fran and Melissa should be here soon,” Lucille reminded Jackie, twiddling her thumbs.
Jackie took a long sip from a can of Coke. “It’ll be fun. I haven’t seen Fran since high school, let alone met Melissa.”
Lucille side-eyed her. “Me neither. That’s why we need to be on our best behavior.”
“Waddya mean?”
“There’s a reason why we haven’t seen her since high school.” Lucille wasn’t proud of this next part. “Because we were immature, massive douchebags, perhaps even immature, massive dickheads.”
There was a metallic crunching sound as Jackie crushed the can with a single hand. The hamster ball in her head spun for a moment, then she gave Lucille a confused look. “We were just having fun with her. I don’t remember being a jerk.”
Lucille sighed. “Remember times like-”
==========
East Eden High School. Lunchtime. Around a four person lunch table with one empty seat, Regina drank a carton of chocolate milk with mute eyes while Lucille and Jackie snickered nefariously to themselves.
“You do it,” Lucille whispered.
“Nah, nah, you do it-”
“Okay, okay.”
The girls kept snickering.
Tray in hand, Fran approached the empty seat. “Hey guys,” she said with a sigh as she set the tray down on the table. “It’s been a long day-”
When she went to sat down, Lucille subtly yanked the chair backwards so Fran hit nothing but air. Then her ass hit the ground with a loud smack and she kind of just sat there for a moment, utterly dumbfounded. Fran gazed up at Lucille and Jackie with a perplexed look on her face.
Lucille latched onto Jackie as she pointed a finger and simply went-
“BAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAAA!”
==========
The highway. Lunchtime. A group of eight, because high school friend groups could get quite big, were headed up north for apple picking. Jackie drove the lead car with Lucille in the passenger seat; Fran drove the second car with Regina alongside her, following closely, following with a bit of trepidation, because Jackie liked to drive fast and Fran liked to drive slow.
In the front seats, Lucille and Jackie snickered nefariously, giving each other slight shoves on the shoulder, and then Jackie went, “okay, okay.” Without putting her signal on, she suddenly yanked the car over to the right, across four lanes, gunning it for the rapidly approaching exit. Fran followed, ignoring the honks, carefully navigating the interstate, arriving behind Jackie just in time for the exit.
Still laughing, just as she got onto the offramp, Jackie yanked the car back into the first lane and floored it. Fran couldn’t make it, didn’t make it - the last they saw of her for the next several hours was her Audi heading down the ramp, off into woodland suburbia.
“BAAAAHAHHAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAAHA!”
==========
“See?” Lucille pointed out back on the porch. “Douchebags. Douchecanoes. Douchenozzles.”
“That’s just high school shenanigans.” Then Jackie let out a low, dumb-sounding laugh. “The chair bit was funny.”
“Of course...wait, no, it wasn’t!” Lucille crossed her arms. “High school shenanigans is one thing. It’s different when you do something like that to a person everyday.” She sighed and had a moment of self-reflection. “When you target someone because you’re a pissed-off teenager who needs a punching bag. Someone who burns a bridge just to make themselves feel better.”
Jackie shrugged. “She went to Harvard. No matter what we did to her in high school - and I still feel like it wasn’t a whole lot - she’ll come out ahead of us in the end.”
“Is that why we targeted her?”
Neither woman had an answer to that, so they just gazed at the power lines against the backdrop of the sunset for a moment.
“Well, she’ll be here soon,” Lucille said to break the silence. “So we need to show her that we’re mature, capable, intelligent, and civilized. That we’ve changed.”
Jackie was sipping on another can of soda. “Maybe we were a little harsh on her. But if we feel bad, shouldn’t we just apologize?”
NEVER.
That response immediately shot through Lucille’s brain. Apologize? Admit she was wrong? And to someone with a trust fund, no less? No. Lucille wouldn’t back down. Never. Not in a million years.
Jackie recognized the hesitation. “Hey, are you just embarrassed ‘cuz you work in a grocery store while Fran’s gonna be some bigshot finance person? Do you want to show her you’re cool now or whatever so you can look good in front of her, not because you actually feel bad about high school?”
Lucille went white as a sheet, then just chuckled as the usual self-defense tactics kicked in. “Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. The Celtics just traded Marcus Smart for an injury-prone Latvian named Tingus Pingus, remember?”
Chair scraped against wooden porch as Jackie stood with her fists clenched. “They did, they really did! And you know how I feel about that? I feel like-”
And that’s how Lucille could avoid any hard questions with Jackie. While her friend ranted and raved, Lucille stole a can of soda, slid down her seat, watched the sunset gradually slip away into a blue twilight, and thought of ways to impress the approaching members of high society.
They walked up the street soon enough, having gotten off at the nearest train station. The relaxed look of Francesca Silvestri’s face contrasted with her fiery ball of red hair; Melissa looked like an easygoing version of Lucille with access to an Amex card. They both wore sundresses that looked freshly ironed; Jackie wore her usual black-and-green East Eden sweater while Lucille’s eyes bugged out when she looked at her own shirt. She forgot she wore this today - her black gag shirt featuring the face of the hottest 14-year-old Evangelion pilot that declared EVERYBODY LOVES REIMOND right below it.
By the time the two trust fund kids made it to the house, Lucille now sported a politically-neutral blank shirt with an old pizza stain that she could conceal by keeping an arm pinned to her side, which she consistently did for the rest of the night.
Fran smiled as she arrived on the porch. She had a dazzling smile.
There was a wave of introductions, reintroductions, of “how you been?” and “just been chilling”. Lucille was slightly on edge, because she needed to prove herself, while Jackie had a stupid smile on her face upon the sight of an old friend she hadn’t seen in a long while.
Jackie let them through the door, ushering them inside the house, Lucille resisting the urge to shoot herself upon seeing the empty canisters of compressed air scattered on the living room coffee table. She immediately started cleaning those up along with any other signs of degeneracy while Jackie poked her head into her own room.
“Get off the rift,” she called out. “We got guests.”
“You can’t pause an online game, Mom,” Regina answered, but she ended up finishing and taking a seat in the living room a few minutes later. It was pretty spacious - enough room for a couch, a television on the other wall, a couple of Seinfeld posters, a college coffee table filled with college items (ones Lucille found respectable, at least), and a spare chair for Jackie complete with cupholder. It could’ve fit more people, but Jackie’s roommates were out of town, so it would be just the five of them.
“Check this out,” Jackie said, nodding back and forth in excitement as she looked through pictures on her phone. She beckoned for Fran to look. “See, see. This is what we looked like at high school graduation.”
Lucille peeked over. Fran had gotten taller, Jackie used to keep her hair short.
“Wow, we’ve really grown up,” Fran said with a laugh. “I heard you graduated this year as well.”
That made Jackie’s eyes lit up. “Oh, you bet. Academic weapon, they call me.”
“You know what you’re gonna do now?” Fran asked.
“Right now I’m just waitressing,” Jackie said. “But I’m part-time as a physical therapist too. That’s what I went to school for. Once they see me fix a couple of paraplegics and the like, they’ll hire me full-time for sure.”
Fran giggled at that. She had a great laugh too - calm, not smug, not high-pitched, just a laugh.
“And what about you?” Jackie called out as she went off to grab drinks from the kitchen. “I heard you’re a finance person now.”
“Oh no, nothing that crazy. The city’s a bit too much for me, so I’m working for a company out west.”
Out west, of course, meaning an hour and a half drive across the state, which more or less takes you across the entire state.
“Too humble,” Melissa teased. “You’re on a fast-track for partner.”
“Oh c’mon,” Fran teased back, tapping her on the shoulder. “Melissa’s the smart one. She’s going for her Master’s in Political Science right now and then working for the State Department.”
Melissa’s face turned a sheepish red. “My parents were diplomats.”
Fran pressed her hands together. “Tell them about the internship in Austria! I love that story-”
“AUSTRALIA!” Jackie yelled. She made wild motions with her hands. “Did you see kangaroos? Didgeridoos? Where beer does flow and men chunder?”
Fran, Melissa, and Jackie started laughing together and chatting. Regina had a quiet smile on her face. Lucille was ready to kill someone.
Fran’s gonna be a partner!
Melissa gets to work abroad!
Jackie is a fucking idiot!
Lucille was not doing a good job of making herself look mature, and not just because she was giving her doppelganger the Kubrick stare. It’s not easy looking at a more successful, happier version of yourself. But when Melissa moved to include her in the conversation, Lucille coughed the stare away.
“I heard you graduated too, Lucille. Got any plans now?”
Lucille let out a royal-sounding ahem. She didn’t just stock shelves. No, she-
“I work in supply chain management,” she declared. “Getting products to the customers.”
Melissa put a thumbs up. “Nice! In the city?”
“Oh, no…you know, it’s local. Food related. Easy commute.”
Since Lucille was lying out of her ass, she couldn’t keep the conversation going all that long. She also had to spend a brief moment shooting off a death stare that made Jackie shut up before she burst into laughter. Regina kept quiet, but the amusement showed in her eyes. When it was her turn, she spoke in her usual stoic tone.
“I work at a grocery store in East Eden.”
“Do you get a discount?” Melissa asked. “I hope so. Food’s pricey nowadays.”
“I get a decent one. I still live at home, so fortunately I don’t gotta spend all that money on food.”
“That’s smart,” Fran said. “You save a ton of money that way. You’ve been working there for a couple years now, right? I heard you kept working even when the pandemic broke out.”
A rare bit of pride flashed across Regina’s eyes. “They always thank the doctors and nurses, but never your frontline grocery workers.”
Fran, Melissa, and Jackie all thanked her for her service to the United States of America.
Now, after a conversation like that, the lesson for Lucille should’ve been obvious. But, upon seeing the way Jackie and Regina easily melted into the conversation with Fran and Melissa, Lucille couldn’t help but look at her own dark reflection on the black television screen. When Jackie went to turn it on a few minutes later, Fran and Melissa ended up conversing between themselves.
“That Polish election will be something,” Melissa said, Fran nodding in complete understanding.
Lucille crossed her arms, because she could be smart, too. She left Fran and Melissa to their conversation and turned to the two women with strawberry blonde hair.
“Say, what do the Miad cousins think of the war in Ukraine?”
Jackie returned to her armchair and glanced at Regina, who merely shrugged. Jackie tilted her head. “...the what?”
Lucille motioned her hands violently. “You know! Russia, Ukraine, the invasion!”
“Oh, that?” Jackie stuck a finger in her ear as she thought. “That’s still going? Hmm, maybe ol’ Jackie oughta go to Moscow and tell the Ruskies that if your name ends with -in, time to get out.”
“Careful,” Regina warned. “You ever seen Putin shirtless?”
Jackie flexed her biceps. “You ever see me shirtless?”
They had. A lot of times. There were no laws in a high school locker room.
While the Miad cousins chatted it up, Lucille observed that Jackie’s neck had a bit of muscle to it, so she should strangle Regina first. And there’s a reason why Lucille avoided an intellectual conversation with Fran and Melissa, one she didn’t want to admit - because with the cousins, she could be a very big fish in a very tiny pond. But with Fran and Melissa, her smarts would clearly be outmatched, because Lucille didn’t know jack shit about Poland. Nor did she know about their other conversation topics - an Indian train collision, Greek migrant boat sinkings, the Nigerian coup, the upcoming BRICS summit.
It’s never easy when you’re faced with irrefutable evidence that you’re not the smartest person in the room. All Lucille could do was continue to give the television screen the Kubrick stare and replay the "classical music to make you feel like a 19th century villain" playlist in her head.
The night wore on. Music was played, television was watched, conversations were had. And all the while, Lucille stewed upon her own misfortune. And then it was time to go.
Lucille didn’t understand. Didn’t the night just start? How could it already be 1 AM, how could Fran and Melissa already be leaving? This was a rare feeling, one that only came up in situations like these - where you’re walking people out the door, saying goodbyes, realizing that everyone had a good night but you, ‘cuz you were too busy depersonalizing and feeling stressed and feeling angry, but right when you get to that door, you realize you were just in your own head. Lucille had wasted the first hangout she had with Fran in four years because she stuck her head up her own ass for the entirety of it.
The group of five remained on the porch, waiting for the two women’s Uber to show up. Lucille needed to say something, anything, right now, in these last few minutes, to salvage the night. She frowned because she came up empty.
But then she noticed something odd about Jackie - Jackie was never nervous, but she was twirling a strand of hair around a finger right now, kind of looking off to the side, clearing her throat a few times. She spoke slowly, without her usual weight and confidence behind it.
“Say, Fran…I’m, you know, sorry about the end of high school and all.” Jackie rubbed the back of her neck. “I think I was a bit mean to you, and I didn’t realize it at the time. Sorry about all that.”
Melissa kept quiet. Fran gave her a small smile. “Ah, it’s alright. We were just kids. It’s been four years and all. But thanks.”
“Don’t thank me,” Jackie said. She pointed a thumb at Lucille. “She’s the one who helped me realize that.”
It was Lucille’s turn to rub the back of her neck. She lightly shifted on her feet as all eyes turned to her. Fran had piercing green ones, bright as emeralds, brighter than Lucille’s dark brown ones that tended to squint and glance bitterly at their surroundings. The crux of the matter immediately surfaced in Lucille’s mind - did she tease Fran all those times because Fran had the ability to be somebody, while Lucille would always just be another member of the nameless mass of humanity?
Most definitely.
Did she want to prove tonight to Fran that she was now mature and intelligent as a way to overcome her own feelings of inadequacy around her?
Most definitely.
So, at the end of the day, did Lucille feel sorry about how high school ended?
“Most definitely,” she mumbled. Fran moved closer because she didn’t hear; Lucille mustered her courage. “I’m sorry, Fran. You’re pretty, smart, and athletic…you drive an Audi, for Christ’s sake…and you’re nice. Incredibly nice. And I probably took advantage of your kindness by being a jerk to you during high school. I’m sorry about all that. And I appreciate that, even after everything, you’re still willing to hang out with losers like Regina and Jackie.” She sighed and nodded her head. “And me. And me most of all.”
White streetlamps and moonlight illuminated the front porch. You couldn’t hear crickets in the city, just distant cars on distant streets. Fran, with her ever-present smile, put a hand on Lucille’s shoulder.
“Thanks, Lucille. I appreciate it. Like I said, we were all just kids back then.” She flashed a wicked grin as the headlights of the approaching Uber flashed behind her. “And compared to you and Jackie, Regina’s no loser.”
Fran gave Lucille a good-natured, friendly pat on the shoulder and stuck her tongue out. Lucille exhaled and smiled back, supposing that tonight was a pretty good night after all.
“Later!” Fran called out, waving goodbye, heading down the front steps.
Melissa waited a moment. “Fran was really excited to see you all tonight,” she said quickly, quietly. “She wouldn’t stop talking about it. Especially about Regina.”
Regina just gave a little shrug with a little smirk.
“Let’s meet up in the fall!” Fran called out to the porch before disappearing into the car. Melissa followed her in, and then the two were off, down city roads and into the night. The three remaining women stood on the porch and watched the car until it disappeared from her view.
A smile drifted onto Lucille’s face. “You know, I learned something today. I basically missed out on a great night with an old friend because I was too worried about how I appeared to her. But all I had to do was be myself and I would’ve had a great night. Maybe, in general, I’m just too concerned about what other people think of me-”
“Boring!” Jackie cut in. She slung an arm around Lucille’s shoulders. “Let’s play a drinking game. Seeing Fran has me in a nostalgic mood, so let’s play a game called Jackie gets so drunk she takes off her shirt!”
Lucille wanted to say a lot at that moment. About thanking Jackie for starting the apology. About thanking Jackie for including her in the apology.
But baby steps, after all. Lucille spent all her courage on apologies tonight. Instead of thanking Jackie directly, she placed her own around her friend’s shoulders in turn and said-
“Not if Lucille gets so drunk she takes her shirt off first.”
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