The Yowie Hunt Season 2 Episodes 1-4 Premier

A large tarantula was squashed by someone's fuzzy slipper.

"And good bye Richelieu! Oh hello everyone, I'm your narrator for this Yaoi hunt. Huh!? What do you mean I said the word wrong!? "Yowie not yaoi"? Screw that shit! I'm the narrator. As for my name, uh Cringe21134. Yeah my user name! Gotta get the clout," a fat guy with long scrawny arms and a hideous bowlcut said.

"We're back in Australialand! Now I'M gonna be telling you the story of Drop bear Dumbee and his new animal friend! No more dumb spider or any of that crap he created from last season. This is my story now!" the narrator cackled.

"In the land of Australialand, there lives a hunky guy name Niles- er, Drop Bear Dumbee. He's a guy that travels with a Yowie named Yaoi. Since you're too dumb to get my brilliant word pun, I'll explain it. Yaoi is named Yaoi cause the name's Yowie! Whatever, I rewrote him so he's yoai and we can cash in on the fujoshi market. I don't care. Back to narration. We've got a new animal friend joining them!" the narrator, Cringe danced.

"Where am I what am I?"

"You're a capybarra mate!" Dumbee smiled.

Dumbee now had his shirt more unbuttoned, showing off more of his hairy and muscular chest.

"Let's yaoi," said Yaoi the yowie.

"What?" said the capybara.

"That's all he says mate, like one of those Yokemon," Dumbee smiled.

"Is there anyway for me to get back? I need to get back home so I can win the flame war I was having online with my ex-girlfriend," Capybara said.

"Where ya from?"

"The big city in the human world."

"Can't travel further than Australialand, least not without a boat. Besides, I'm sure there's a computer somewhere in the outback."

"Let's yaoi," Yoai flatly said.

"Yaoi says he knows where to find a computer. Don't worry mate, we'll get you back so you can win that flame war!" Dumbee smiled.

"And they journey. As for why Capybara was isekaid as a capybara? Cause that's what I wrote!" the narrator stammered.

"Look mate! A keyboard!" Dumbee said as he picked up a greasy keyboard lying in the dirt.

Capybara then noticed all the keys were missing.

"You must find all the keys, for this is the only keyboard in the outback," the narrator said as he appeared before the group.

"Great Cringe211134! You are the greatest fan flamer ever!" Capybara praised.

"Yes, did you add an extra 1 though? Anyway, here are all the keys that can spell my username. Unlike that shitty spider, I put in the work. All you viewers at home should read 9 novel flex and follow my blog on digicookiedough.net," the narrator said.

"Good going mate! Let's type something out!" Dumbee smiled as he began typing.

Suddenly, a computer screen appeared and displayed a website. It was Cringe's blogpage.

"This is the homepage. When you find all the keys, you can log in and win your flame war my Capybarra sycophant," the narrator stated.

"Look mate! It says we can find some more keys if we go to this spot on the map," Dumbee smiled as he pulled out a map and pointed to a spot.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi stated as he pointed in the direction of the keys.

The three set off to get the keys.

                                                                                 ...

"Hey everyone! Today we have a very special guest. From my other TV drama that's currently in the works, give it up for the Prune King!" the narrator clapped.

A wrinkly and hairless man wearing nothing but a fundoshi appeared before Dumbee and Capybarra.

"Hey, I'm Luigi the prune king. You guys know where I can find some digital hair?" Prune king asked.

Prune king was being played by Luigi Metalini, an infamous scam artist that had made a prior guest appearance in Yowie Hunt.

"Wow! You're a prune mate!" Dumbee smiled as he flexed, causing his shirt to rip a bit.

"Hey Niles! Long time no see! Is that Daigoro in the capybarra suit?" Prune king asked.

"Stop getting meta Prune king, the answer's no though," Capybarra growled.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi said as he suddenly popped his head out of the ground.

"Anyway, these three are hunting for keys to a keyboard so Capybarra can win a flame war. You have any keys?" the narrator asked.

"All the keys needed to type out my name," Prune King responded as he grabbed some keys from a nearby stagehand.

"But I'll only trade em for my hair. See, a skeleton sucked off all my hair and made me old and wrinkly. I'll trade a hair per key."

"Crikey mate! We gotta find some hair! But where could it be?" Dumbee smiled as he Knelt down and began sniffing the air.

"A drain pipe," Capybarra said flatly as he pointed to a large orange pipe.

The gang ran over, only for the narrator to emerge from the pipe.

"Hello, it is the great flamewar initiator and greatest author in the world, Cringe here! I was summoned to help you win," Cringe proclaimed as he dumped a pile of spaghetti covered in horseradish into Dumbee's hands.

"Crikey mate! That's a lot of hair!" Dumbee smiled as he ran over to Prune King.

He then smeared the slop all over Prune king.

"Hey, I'm not a hairless freak anymore! It's not all my hair, but enough to get you all the keys. Huh? Where'd they go?" Prune king exclaimed.

"Looking for these? Well you're not getting them back you pathetic prune!" a skeleton with an orange mustache proclaimed.

"Oh no! It's Ivo the skeleton who hated me so much he ripped all his skin out in frustration," Prune king wailed.

"NO! I fell into a volcano! And speaking of which, I think you need another trim!" Ivo shouted as he began sucking the slop off Prune king with a vacuum.

"HYEEEEEELP!"

Prune king was now back to his base state.

"I have all the remaining keys and some of your hair at my hideout, but you'll need a map to find it! And I've hidden it in Tasmania!" Ivo stated as he vanished.

"Crikey mate! We gotta catch the skeleton and get the keys! To Tasmania!" Dumbee declared as he ripped off his shirt and flexed.

                                                                             ...

Prune king's muffled moans rang out as Dumbee finished mummifying him in Vegemite.

"There we go mate, now none of the animals will attack you," Dumbee smiled as he flexed.

"So how are we gonna get the map?" Capybarra asked.

"We hunt a Tasmanian devil. They know a bunch of crazy shit by memory and can easily tell us where the skeleton cave is," Dumbee smiled as he tossed Prune king to Yaoi.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi responded as he put Prune king into a harness and began paragliding with him.

"Those two'll catch one and bring it back. Yaoi'll seduce one easy."

"Don't worry, I'll include the scene in the DVD release," the narrator said as he appeared.

"So my little capybarra, know how you're gonna win the flame war?"

"With a 9 novel flex," Capybarra flatly replied.

"Good! But you'll need a bit more inspiration. Give it to him Dumbee!"

Dumbee smiled and held Capybarra up in the air. He then kissed him. Capybarra showed no reaction. Once the kiss scene was over, the puppeteer controlling Capybarra once again took control over him.

"That's it! I'll win the flamewar! Now I get it. Thank you so much for that french kiss," Capybara flatly stated.

"I'm not French mate," Dumbee laughed.

Yaoi and Prune king then returned with a man dressed as a daimyo.

"That's not a Tasmanian devil! Oh no, they messed up," Dumbee laughed.

"Eh, I fell in a watering hole and all the Vegemite washed off. Luckily this guy showed up," Prune king said.

"Wait cut! Who is this guy really? I don't know him," Cringe the narrator stated.

"Buwahahahahaha! I'm here to crash the set and self promote!" the daimyo laughed.

"YES! I'm so popular everyone wants to crash the set of MY TV drama! Do it daimyo man! Here, just give the capybarra puppet all these keyboard keys and give an epic speech about flamewars once you're done with your crashing," Cringe giggled.

"Flamewars!? I love starting those and watching people get miserable. Online, I'm known as Jesterthesupremeevildaimyo."

"REALLY!? I love your work! autograph!"

"Buwahahaha! I'll give you an autograph and a live performance!"

Ninjas suddenly appeared and began playing a song as the daimyo began to sing.

“Yo Yoi! I am the greatest criminal from the depths of Edo. The great daimyo of organized crime. Everyone fears my name! For every atrocity, I have attained! Murder! Kidnapping! Drug Smuggling! None can match my Might! Theft! Assault! War Crimes! All now fear my wrath! With my evil ninjitsu I will conquer all that’s good. They say Jesters are the fools, WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW DUMBASS! Lalalalalala! Jester-sama is the evil, dastardly, wicked, inhumane, dark ninjutsu daimyo! Oh oh oh oh! Yooooooo!”

"And here are your keys. Now go tell your ex she's an ugly whore!" Jester laughed as he handed a pile of keys to Capybarra and exited the stage to give Cringe an autograph.

"Good going mate! Now that we have almost every key, the cave appeared!" Dumbee smiled as he pointed at a cave.

Capybarra walked into the cave and grabbed the keys.

"That's every one, now I just gotta log in and type my response," he said.

"I won't let you!" Ivo growled as he appeared.

Dumbee then threw a boomerang that beheaded Ivo and sent his head flying.

"Ouch! That hurt you asshole!" Ivo shouted.

"Quick mate! Score the winning goal!" Dumbee smiled as Ivo's head flew towards Yaoi.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi said flatly as he kicked Ivo's head off into the sky.

"This isn't the last you'll se of MEEEEEEE!" Ivo shouted.

His body then got up and began chasing after his head. Capybarra then logged into his flamewar account and typed his response.

"Amelia, you're a whore. I'm now dating a hot guy because you insulted my flamewar career. No one would ever want to date a bitch like you that hates flamewars. I even got my first kiss from my boyfriend, it was a french kiss. You can't even kiss my ass. You're never losing your virginity. You suck, fuck you," Capybara typed.

Once the message was submitted, a message reading "FLAMEWAR WON!" popped up on the screen.

"Good job mate! You won the flame! But I can easily make a fire with some stones," Dumbee smiled as he conked some stones together.

Suddenly, all the keys on the keyboard flew away.

"What's going on!?" Capybara shouted.

"Well, this is a series I want to last for years, so you'll need to find all the keys again. They'll disperse after you win a flamewar, so if you want to win any future flame wars, you'll need to find the keys again," the narrator explained.

"Hey, and I still gotta find all my hair," Prune king stated.

The narrator then handed Prune king a can of shaving cream and a safety razor.

"What's this for?" Prune king asked.

"It's a meta joke. You're gonna need it for at least a decade," the narrator giggled.

"Let's yaoi," Yaoi said as he held up a picture of a shirtless Dumbee.

"And with that, the gang will continue their yaoi Yowie hunt to find the keys again and win more flamewars. See you next week. Oh, and we'll be doing a giveaway of rare shirtless Dumbee photos. Just buy a DVD set and mail in the form that comes with it and you'll be entered to win 1 of only 100 shirtless Dumbee photos, and 10 grand prize winners will get a nude Dumbee photo of Dumbee in nothing but his hat and boots. So buy those DVDs as well as everything by me, Cringe," the narrator announced.

                                                                              [End]

The screening group that had just sat through the first four episodes of Yowie Hunt season 2 cringed in disgust.