Chapter 211 Lies And Misunderstandings

As Hermit happily finished his cheese snack, he and Suzuka left the room and went to the guild to meet Larry. Hermit's spirit was lifted, he enjoyed the aftertaste of the cheese in his mouth and had a slight skip in his step as they walked through the town streets.

The few townsfolk who passed by couldn't help but cast curious glances at the unusual pair. Hermit's vibrant green skin, oversized ears, and childlike wonder made him stand out. Some of the children pointed and giggled, finding the goblin's appearance both strange and amusing.

Suzuka, on the other hand, radiated an air of confidence and power. She was known in the town around these parts as someone who got things done, and her reputation preceded her so no one bothered her about the goblin heeding behind her. Though pitiful in his way, Hermit felt a sense of pride at being by her side.

Suzuka and Hermit arrived at the guild, and she led the goblin further into the hall, her eyes scanning the room in search of Larry. Still a bit timid, Hermit followed closely behind her, taking in the surroundings with his wide, scared but curious eyes.

To her surprise, she didn't spot Larry among the familiar faces. Instead, she found David and Jacob engaged in a lively conversation, looking like old friends catching up. Suzuka approached them, the goblin trailing behind her like a cautious shadow.

Suzuka addressed David, "Have you seen Larry? I'm here to hand over the goblin to him."

David greeting her with a nod, said "No, not yet. But he should be here soon, I imagine."

Suzuka then turned her attention to Jacob, her curiosity piqued by his unexpected presence.

She asked, "And you? Why are you here, Jacob?"

Jacob leaned back in his chair and said, "Look, I was drunk last night. When I sobered up, I wasn't sure if you were real or if I had just imagined things. So I came to confirm and discuss some things. You know, we haven't had a chance to talk about the business opportunity you were talking about. The tasty beer got in the way."

Suzuka slapped Jacob's shoulder and with a playful grin said, "As you can see, I'm very real, Jacob. And we'll have a lot to discuss, especially about the things that are coming. But forget about that for a moment, I would like to know when you and David become pals?"

Jacob let out a hearty laugh and raised his glass to take a clumsy sip of his drink. 

"David and I? Well, we had a few drinks yesterday, didn't we? That made us friends, heck even the goblin over there was a good sport and shared drinks with us. Man, that was fun, the drunk goblin was hilarious. We should go at it again sometime."

Suzuka took a seat next to them and said, "Yeah, I have been there. I saw your fun. Unfortunately, Hermit's fun ended with him sleeping in his piss in the alley."

Hermit, who had been listening to the conversation with his large goblin ears, chimed in with a goofy grin on his face.

 "Yep, Hermit was a real good sport, hehe! Drank and drank, belly sloshing, and then... plop! Right in the puddle, I was! Yes, I was! Splashy, splashy! Pee pee stink my sniffer but fun times, fun times!" His eyes twinkled with the kind of simple joy that only a goblin could possess.

Suzuka exchanged a glance with Jacob and David, who couldn't help but giggle at Hermit's cheerful idiocy. Hermit, taking this as a sign of approval, continued with his goofy antics.

"Hermit loves puddles, yes! But not the stinky pee-pee one! Water puddles are my friends! They're like big baths, only wetter and taste better. Hehehe!" He clasped his hands together and pretended to take a dive, mimicking a joyful splash in an invisible puddle.

Hermit continued his goofy goblin show, twirling around and pretending to swim in the air as if he were in the world's grandest puddle.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the guild hall changed, and Hermit's joy reached new heights as he heard a familiar voice. The entrance door to the guild slammed open, and Laughing Larry walked into the room with his trademark boisterous laugh. His entrance was as grand as ever, instantly commanding the attention of all the guild members.

Larry's jovial presence was like a spark in a powder keg, setting off an explosion of merriment. Hermit's eyes lit up at the sight of his friend, and he leaped into the air, fueled by excitement, his green face contorted with anticipation. However, his spirited jump was ill-timed, and he slammed his head on the table with a resounding thud.

The impact sent Hermit flopping onto the ground, clutching his throbbing head and wailing like a crybaby wimp. The table rattled from the collision, and a fork that had been resting on it bounced off, jabbing Hermit on the forehead. The fork got lodged in his skull, a sharp prong sticking out of his head.

With the fork still skewering his forehead, Hermit scrambled to his feet and scuttled toward Larry. He resembled a pitiful creature in desperate need of sympathy. Larry watched as Hermit lunged towards him with the fork lodged in his skull. In a split-second reaction, he caught the goblin in his arms as Hermit's frail body made contact with him.

"Laarrry! Ooh, Larry!" Hermit cried, his scrawny hands outstretched toward his friend, his body landing with an exaggerated flop in Larry's embrace. He clung to Larry like glue, his tears and snot smearing all over Larry's clothing as he continued to whine and moan, "It's been horrible, truly awful. David, oh, he thought it was funny to see me suffer. First, Oh, Larry, you won't believe what happened! It's been awful, just awful. He took me to this dark alley, and he offered me to the townsfolk like some kind of... sacrifice!" His tale of woe is seemingly never-ending.

With teary eyes, Hermit continued, "And then, the girls, Larry! The girls! They started slapping and kicking me, laughing and insulting me all the while. But It got worse! Worse I tell you! Some of the town's men joined in. They beat me, Larry, with their fists like hammers! And... and then there were some kids! Larry! Kids! They stomped on me and nailed a plank to my head! I was left in the cold alley in the rain! Thrown into a pile of garbage and filth! I thought I was done for. But the worst part is yet to come!"

His tone grew increasingly sad as he continued, "The cruel man named Goblinfucker had his way with me! He molested me and bred me like I had never been bred before! Not even in breeding farms! It was horrible! And Master Helen had to save me, but she's not very nice, Larry. She doesn't like goblins much. Then there's the town, Larry. They despise goblins so much, they think we're all bad. But we're not Larry, we're good gobbies. We are good, I tell you! I just want peace, you know? I want us to live with the townfolks, side by side. But it's hard when they look at us like we're monsters. Larry, I'm so sad and scared. Please hug me and hold me and never let go!" His voice trembled with a high-pitched wail as he spilled all the dramatic details of his recent misfortunes, his words pouring out like a waterfall of misery.

"Laarrry!" Hermit cried, "Everything's been so horrible! People are monsters, not Hermit, and bullies, and scary things! Oh, it's been such a tormenting day," he sobbed dramatically.

Larry embraced the goblin and fixed his gaze on David, who was visibly uncomfortable and still dealing with the guilt of the earlier incident. He spoke with an air of disappointment in his voice, "David, you gave me your word that you wouldn't harm the goblin. You swore right in my face, promised not to hurt him, and now this is what I find?"

David, his shoulders slumped, began to explain, "Larry, I was about to exp-"

However, before he could finish his word, Suzuka interrupted with a hearty laugh, her slow clapping applause dripping with sarcasm.

"Ah, listen to the goblin storyteller! We call him 'Hermit the Preacher' now. Only a goblin can have such imagination," she said, her voice filled with mockery.

 "That was quite the fairy tale Hermit spun for you, Larry. Don't be fooled. Hermit and David are best buddies now. In fact, they're so chummy that they even made a new friend!" She pointed to Jacob, who was sipping his drink with a surprised grin.

She continued her narrative with enthusiasm, "The truth is, David took the goblin to a bar for some quality bonding time. Be prepared to be shocked, Larry. I was just as surprised when I stumbled upon them, hugging and swaying together, singing a goblin song that made absolutely no sense... Oh! And you better believe it, I joined the merrymaking as well, and we even roped in Jacob here."

Suzuka paused briefly to give Hermit a disdainful look, noticing the goblin's panicked expression and his attempts to interrupt. Larry silenced him with a gentle gesture, encouraging Suzuka to continue her twisted tale.

"We had a grand old time," she said with a chuckle, "and the goblin... oh, the goblin! He had so much beer that he looked like he'd swallowed a whole barrel of the stuff. His belly sloshed as he danced on the table, and we all had a good laugh. David even tried to learn the goblin's dance moves but ended up comically tumbling to the ground, sending the entire bar into laughter."

Larry, clearly perplexed, asked for clarification, "Then what's all this talk about him getting hurt?"

Suzuka continued with her amusement evident in her voice, "Oh, that part is the best! The goblin, after his drinking adventure, ventured to an alley to relieve himself but ended up falling asleep in a puddle of his piss. I found him there, shivering in the cold, soaked to the bone, and reeking of his mess. He was huddled under the dumpster, rustling in the trash, mumbling nonsense in his druk dreams." She couldn't help but burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

She continued her colorful storytelling, her voice laden with mockery. 

"There he was, reeking of his mess and snoring away like a lumberjack in the filthiest corner of the alley. But the best part, Larry, is when he woke up in a puddle of his pee, he started mumbling the craziest things in his stupor. I couldn't help but overhear some of it; he was muttering something about a 'Goblinfucker' and being bred with giant egg-laying straw."

She couldn't hide her jest as she continued, "I swear, I nearly choked on my laughter when I heard it. You can't make this stuff up!"

Hermit, now trembling, was in a state of absolute despair. His story had been twisted beyond recognition, and Larry's reaction was certainly not what he had expected. With Larry holding him close, Hermit could only hope that his friend would somehow see through the lies and misunderstandings.