Total disrespect

As we ran onwards, we arrived at a tower with a French flag flying above it.

"Crikey mate, that guy's bad news," Dumbee warned as he readied his boomerang.

Suddenly, a man appeared from the top of the tower. Dumbee immediately through his boomerang, only for the man to dodge it. He began blowing raspberries at us in an attempt to distract us from the boomerang flying back towards us. I unamusingly dodged it as Dumbee was beheaded.

*Maddie lost 1 brain cell to revive Dumbee*

Hold on, where is that idiot? He was nowhere to be seen.

"Hon Hon Hon, Looking for ze Dumbee? He has respspawned in my tower. If you want to save him, you will have to, go on a date with me, beautiful mademoiselle," the Frenchman flirted.

"No, I don't have time for this, nor would I date scum like you," I glared.

"Your mother was a gerbil and your father smelled of raspberries."

"Childish and immature tactics? I'm too mature for that."

I then began walking away from the tower as the pitiful man in the tower desperately tried to taunt me.

"You are with ze stupid kangaroo oui? Then you must take my taunting-"

"Shut up, you are immature, and I don't have time for this."

"But ze Dumbee-"

"I'm not an idiot, I can clearly see him over at that clearing."

Sure enough, Dumbee was standing at a faraway clearing looking around.

The Frenchmen cursed, and attempted to launch a wildebeest at me. I quickly judged it's trajectory and dodged it with ease. I then used the wildebeest as a ride to reach Dumbee faster.

"Apologies for him, but if I can give you a ride, it will ease my consciousness," the wildebeest stated.

I then caught up to Dumbee.

"Crikey, you got away! Roux got trapped and crushed the last time we faced him," he smiled.

"Why yes, unlike Roux, I am far smarter and more mature," I huffed.

*Maddie regained 110 brain cells*

I'm glad that spider at least had the decency to reward me for my intellect.

                                                                                   ...

We then arrived at a campsite where a crocodile was playing some bongos as a panda danced.

"Crikey, I love this beat!" Dumbee smiled as he began... "dancing".

*Maddie lost 2 brain cells*

"Hey not you again! My beat got messed up 69 times last time," the panda growled as he tripped and rolled towards me.

"Please kick the panda to the beat, 1,2,3. Ready go," the crocodile sighed.

I understood perfectly and kicked the panda with the beat sending him flying away.

"Im- Impressive. You are unlike the kangaroo," the crocodile stuttered.

"Well naturally, I am a prodigy," I huffed as I flicked my hair.

*Maddie regained 110 brain cells*

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu," the furball growled as he appeared behind me.

"You again huh? Never learn. I'm not giving you anything."

"Yeah, this time we got someone way better than that creep to baldify you, or at least knock you out so we can tie you up and shave you for the toll," Shitty Sal laughed.

A hooded figure then arrived via a giant pterodactyl. He landed and threw off his hood, revealing himself to be the Frenchman from earlier. This time, he had an electric guitar.

"Hon Hon Hon! Time for round 2, where I will disrespect you with my taunts!" the Frenchman declared as he turned into a werewolf.

The words, "Guitar Werewolf!" suddenly flashed before him briefly.

"If you're trying to scare me, it won't work," I glared as the crocodile handed me an acoustic guitar.

"We will have a guitar battle! You win, your toll is paid, you lose, and you get ze baldest of bald shaves! A fate far too cruel for a beautiful mademoiselle, so I will offer you a 3rd option. One date, and I will forever fight ze Ketsuketsu preventing him from ever getting a toll. So?" the Frenchman asked.

I readied the guitar. The Frenchman smirked and played a chord. It instantly destroyed my guitar, and all my clothes except for my sneakers.

"KYAAAH!"

"Hon Hon Hon!" You have been stripped! Now, you will never win, but my date option is still on, refuse though, and it ez ze razor for you!" the Frenchman taunted.

I chose the smart option, and ran away. I then heard the sound of a guitar chord, and the next thing I know, I was flying through the air. I landed in a chair and had my wrists and ankles immediately restrained with shackles. Before I could protest, that stupid spider appeared and glued my mouth shut.

"MMPH NGH MMPH!?"

"Ya blew it bitch! Don't know what you just said, well pretty sure I do. This is your total humiliation!" Ri-chan taunted as a cart full a various hair removal products appeared before me.

I recognized them as everything that bald creep had on him before, along with various other bottles of things I didn't want smeared on me.

"Since you're 90% nude, might as well do your body too. Oh, and just so you know, you won't be able to regenerate your hair even if you die. Time for your shave!"

"Non, non, non, I will not allow you to just strip her of her beautiful hair!" the Frenchman glared.

Huh, guess maybe lovestruck perverts can be useful at times.

"Not without me disrespecting her with a fail song!" the Frenchman maliciously laughed as he began playing his guitar.

I take it back, fuck this guy. Ri-chan began shaving my head as tears welled up in my eyes. Then, when I had been buzzed, a mirror appeared and the dam burst. My beautiful hair had been sheared, but worst of all, it was just the beginning.The three cheerleaders from before appeared and crowded around me holding cans of shaving cream and razors.

"Like, time to be totally hairless," one smiled.

"So lucky, I wish I was in your position, is it possible?" another one asked.

"I think there's enough for all three of us too!" the third giddily smiled as she gazed at the hair removal supplies.

 I hate these stupid masochists. As for Dumbee, the panda had returned and challenged him to a dance off. I was too pissed off that he was oblivious to my plight to lose brain cells. Then My head, face, and body were then encased in shaving cream. I looked like a shaving cream mummy. But most despicably, was the fact that as everyone began shaving me, the Frenchman began singing a song.

"You are bald, bald, bald.

Did you think you were bright? Non non, you're shite.

You are bald, bald, bald.

Gonna be hairless for the rest of your life.

You are bald, bald, bald.

You've screwed up bad and you're getting humiliated, you are so so bald,

and soon your brain cells will be depleted, you are so so fucked.

You're now the  dumb defeated creamy witch.

You are bald, bald, bald.

If you weren't gagged you'd scream like a bitch.

You are bald, bald, bald.

You've screwed up bad and you're getting humiliated, you are so so bald,

and soon your brain cells will be depleted, you are so so fucked.

Hon Hon, poor bitch now you're bald like a monk.

You look like a Naked mole rat alien, covered in icky gunk.

No more hair for you.

How does it feel to be bald? (You are bald, bald, bald. )

You fucked up, now you're a bald disgrace

maybe someone will still find you hot out in outer space

Aovre wa, sayonara, I'm off to visit your mother mademoiselle

No redos for you smoothy

You are bald, bald, bald.

You are bald, bald, bald..."

After an eternity, I was done. I thought I had emptied all my tears out, but more came out as I saw how hideous I looked. ALL my hair was gone. Those heathens didn't even leave me with a single eyelash! I looked like a smooth alien freak! Worst of all, they even waxed my head and body and poured various hair removal creams all over me, meaning I'll likely be stuck like this for the rest of my life...

*Maddie lost ALL her hair permanently*

Then it got worse, I was then covered completely in sticky Vegemite. I cried and blushed in embarrassment and despair.

"MMPH NGH MMPH MMPH NGH MMMPH MMMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH NGH MMPH MMPH NGH MMMPH MMMPH MMPH MMPHMMPH NGH MMPH MMPH NGH MMMPH MMMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH NGH MMPH MMPH NGH MMMPH MMMPH MMPH MMPH! (DAMN THE CONTRACT I SIGNED, NOW I'M A HIDEOUS FREAK! I'D HAVE NEVER AGREED TO DO THIS STUPID SHOW IF I'D KNOWN ABOUT THIS! FUCK THAT FURBALL! FUCK THOSE MASOCHISTS, FUCK THAT FRENCHMAN, AND FUCK THAT STUPID BITCH SPIDER FOR WRITING THIS SHIT AND FORCING ME TO BE HUMILIATED LIKE THIS ON NATIONAL TV!)"

                                                                            ...

After an eternity, I somehow calmed down. I was then tossed in a watering hole, freeing me from my Vegemite mummification. My eyes were red, and I trembled as I wrapped a towel that bitch spider had given me around my body. Then, after my mouth had been unsealed from the glue, the action resumed.

"Whelp, guess I'll be calling you Balddie from now on. Oh, and if you want some new clothes, you'll have to venture into the forest alone and claim the legendary skin tight bikini," Ri-chan smirked.

"THE HELL!? YOU SAID MY CLOTHES WOULD REGENERATE!" I shouted.

"Yeah, but well the guitar Frenchman shredded them. But hey, at least you still have your sneakers so your feet won't get sore, or do you wanna go full nude-"

"WHATEVER, I'LL GO GET THE BIKINI!"

"Oh, and don't lose the towel. Fail to bring it back and I'll deduct 1,000,000 brain cells for the replacement cost."

Before I could go, the furball stopped me.

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu," he laughed as he handed me a cake.

"He says to eat the cake and your toll is paid for good," Lime green bodysuit guy laughed.

I angrily shoveled the cake into my mouth, and immediately spat it back out. It was full of my hair that had just been shorn. There were also eggshells mixed in as well.

*Maddie lost 2015 brain cells*

"Ore wa ketsu ga daisuki desu," Ketsuketsu laughed as he played around with the wax that had just moments ago been ripped off me.

"Debt paid smoothy!" Shitty Sal laughed.

I angrily threw the rest of the cake into the furball's face and ran off.