Going full drop bear fo pizza time

In the Eisenbog wrestling ring, I faced off against Ravio. Clad in a horribly revealing soda can holder outfit, I stood and glared down at him. Everyone was glaring at me, but I didn't care. I do what I want, cause I'm Ami Shizumi, the hottest and most successful actress in the industry!

"You ready to get funky?" Ravio glared as he suddenly charged at me at breakneck speed.

Before I knew it, everything was hurting.

"OHHHHHH! We're getting funky!" a hype man shouted as I was being thrown around like a rag doll.

Damn stuntman didn't even bother putting a safety harness on me. And this little shit koala, HOW THE HELL IS HE BEATING ME UP!? I then fell to the ground as I began to lose consciousness.

"1! 2! 3! Knock-AAH!"

"No! I'm not done yet!" an enraged Ravio shouted as he threw the ref out.

He then jumped into a pizza box before reappearing outside the ring. Bells began ringing as he ran for me at breakneck speed and began pulverizing me in the air.

"TIME A FOR ROUND A 2 BITCH!" he shouted in fury as my bones began to powderize.

IRL FOR REAL MY BONES WERE GETTING POWDERIZED! THE HELL KIND OF STEROIDS DID THEY FEED THIS FURBALL!?

"Crikey mate! He's gone full drop bear on ya mate!" Dumbee smiled.

Oh, NOW you get back in character huh!?

Suddenly, I was gunged in melted cheese and sauce as the koala- drop bear flipped me into the air like a pizza. I landed with a splat on the ring floor and screamed in pain. EVERYTHING hurt.

"Oh no, you aren't done yet," Ravio snarled as he suddenly became buff and large.

Everything began to shake as a timer suddenly descended from the ceiling. Then the furball pulled out a shotgun.

"Oh no, this was just a for effects, this is war, ROUND 3!" Ravio yelled as he crushed the shotgun with his hands and whipped out a rocket launcher. 

A ROCKET LAUNCHER!?

                                                                              ...

Ravio ignored Maddie's pleas of terror as he fired. The ring exploded in a fiery ball of smoke.

Ravio then faced the fireball and performed the Italian "Fuck you" salute as a fanfare played.

"You make me proud my son," Italian chef Pistachio Ragu applauded as he appeared next to Ravio and stared at the fireball.

*Maddie lost a shit ton of brain cells*

"Well guess the Yowie hunt's on hold," Dumbee laughed.

                                                                        ...

I glared through the bandages as I was pushed back onto set in a wheelchair and full bodycast. Luckily that rocket launcher was just a prop. Unfortunately, that little were-koala's beatdown was real and all my bones were broken. It would take months to heal.

A few months later...

I was finally able to move again, but then it was right back to filming.

"Well bitch, sure lost a shit ton of brain cells. Now you only got 111 left. Die one more time with Dumbee, and it's erotica hell for you," Ri-chan glared.

I ignored her and got back into the arena. Despite it being months, my hair hadn't grown back. That damn Spider bitch was truly going to get it.

My opponent, was the French Werewolf.

"NOW You will be taunted!" he laughed as he hopped in holding an inflatable guitar.

He then proceeded to smack me with it again and again. That damn squeaking made my head ache like crazy. Then I fell to the ground, but before the ref could finish the count...

"I forfeit," the werewolf snickered as he hopped out and ran away.

That asshole.

Once I was dragged out of the ring, Dumbee hopped in and fought Zollum. Well, more like playfully wrestled with each other. It honestly looked more like it was a scene straight out of yaoi fic. That damn spider bitch was drooling at the sight of it as body oil poured into the ring, oiling up Dumbee and Zollum. All while that shirtless elf flexed and sang his dumb song.

"I'm taking your precious to Isenbog bog bog b bog bog."

 I quickly averted my eyes. I did not want to lose any more brain cells. _! I suddenly I had a revelation. I realized how I could get out of this production hell.

                                                                          ...

Once filming was done, I went home and filmed some erotic scenes of myself. Then on the next day of filming, I approached the producer.

"What is this DVD for?" he asked.

"The footage to be used for when Maddie fails. I want to be done with this hell, but don't want to do an erotic sex scene with that crazed bitch," I stated.

"Perhaps, this is for the best. Very well. My pockets will be happy the less money I have to spend on production, so today will be the final day of filming."

Just cause I'm acting nice with that greedy ass doesn't mean he's off the hook. When I'm done with this day of filming, I'm investing in getting my hair restored and I'm gonna make sure everyone involved in this production aside from myself is sent to prison even down to the extra and janitor.

                                                                         ...

As I hopped into the ring, the spider bitch hopped in along with a yowie.

"Ello mate! Name's Blaine. I'm a yowie into yaoi," the yowie chuckled.

"Decided to make things easy for you, just win this 2 v 2 match, and you and Roux can go back. Your hair won't be coming back though," Ri-chan snickered.

"Sure, I'd love to beat you up since I couldn't finish the job last time," I glared.

"Who said you'd get the honor? Your teamate might take me out instead."

"Teammate?"

"Crikey mate! It's a yaoi yowie!" Dumbee smiled as he swung into the ring on a vine.

"Only one of you needs to remain standing, though if one of you goes down, you're out for the rest of the match. Same applies to my team too. And if you lose, it's erotica hell for you, though I'll be nice to Dumbee and let him play with the yowies regardless of if he wins or loses."

That damn spider. Is she trying to make this harder on me? I'm gonna beat her ass for all the hell she's put me through.