1rst month

“NO!!” I strongly screamed with tears falling down uncontrollably, while I held the proof in my shaking hand, scared, and frightened like a little girl afraid of her own shadow

“Michelle, is everything well?” worried my mother asked almost immediately, knocking at the bathroom door “Michelle open now!”

Quickly I put away the test, hid the evidence of that night of passion. Washed my hands, my face and teeth

“What’s happening mommy?” finally I answered opening the door, after five minutes during which she remained knocking at the door almost trying to bring it down, five minutes that were enough for me to calm down and recover my usual mood

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY: What’s happening?” she asked yelling nervous and worried, inside I was just like her: shaking with fear, about to explode in a tide of emotions, but had to remain calm, stay tranquil, had to do it

“FIRST THAT SCREAM” she continued just as altered “I’m out here, you don’t answer and now you open just as calm as if nothing…” she said trying to calm down, but breathing just as shaken like a while ago

“Ohhh that” I said while going out, with tranquil steps but shaking inside “I only saw a spider…in, in the mirror…got scared…that was it” I added while going to my bedroom and closed the door

“Don’t scared me like that again” she warned from outside and then went away

Some minutes later we shared a quick breakfast, before she had to run towards her work and me to school

I ran as fast as I could to get there before my friends did, I needed some moments alone to send a message, I had to tell him what had happened, give him the terrible news that had me so distraught

Sending him a message would be rather quick and easy, save that nobody; absolutely nobody could see the mobile device, which he had given me, so we could always be in contact. Nobody must know of the relationship between us, because nobody would accept it due to the extreme differences between us

Extreme differences not only in age or size but other more subtle ones, which normally none would notice. Except if they had spent a lot of time, like I had by his side, that those little details would become evident, for I knew him since young, well, since I was younger and since then we had kept our relationship a secret

In those times our relationship had been tender and romantic, he helped me with everything, was the support I so much lacked. The daddy I had never had, the friend that played with me, the teacher that thought me so many things, for he had literally opened the world before me. Precisely because of the teachings he had given me that I now enjoyed being an exceptional student, not only in academic matters but also in ballet, because in both I was considered, in words of my teachers: a prodigy child; in words of my classmates: a weird bug, an absolute nerd and geek

Until now that our friendship had matured from a tender romance into something more physical, more intense and much more serious. I closed the bathroom door and immediately started to write the message:

“WE HAVE A VERY DIRE PROBLEM!” I wrote emphasizing every word

“Hello, beautiful!” he immediately answered, almost as if he had been waiting for my message. I loved that in him, he was always there for me, at any moment, as if I was of vital importance to him

“Good morning, how are you? Are you in school already?” he asked in his message while I was still writing “what’s the problem about?”

“obviously I’m at school” angrily I answered “my pregnancy test came out positive” I wrote with a shaking hand, without knowing what he would answer, without knowing what would happen

“EXCELLENT!” his answer came immediately and I felt how my legs lost all their strength, because I had to lean on the door, of the stall where I had locked myself in, to be able to remain standing

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH EXCELLENT?” I asked, between incredulous and angry before his answer “WE ARE IN SERIOUS PROBLEMS!”

“Relax little one” came his answer, evidently trying to calm my nerves, producing just the opposite effect because I was becoming even more distraught “everything is going to be fine”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY: RELAX AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE?” I practically screamed “MY MOMMY IS GOING TO KILL ME…”

“Don’t worry about anything” came the message interrupting what I was about to write “I’m watching over you”

“But…”

“Do you trust me?” he asked, I read three time the last message; I wanted to keep on screaming at him, my nerves so demanded it, but his question required a very simple answer

“YES, but…” I wrote trying to calm down not only the fear that made my whole body shake, but to appease my explosive temper

“Everything is going to be fine, relax” he wrote, I was about to answer the message when an intense ringing sound alerted me that it was time for classes to begin “go to classes, have a nice day” the message came while I was leaving the stall

I washed my face, because I had been crying again during our brief conversation, I put my backpack over my shoulder, thinking how had he known that I had to go to my class and was about to leave when a new message from him arrived:

“by the way, those cloth I gave you as a gift make you look even more beautiful” I remained frozen behind the door that my hand had been about to open, because I was just wearing the outfit, that a few days ago, he had given me: high heels, lace stocking, pleated miniskirt, satin blouse and blazer everything in an harmonious set in pastel pink, black and grey oxford colors

Still shaking with fear, my nerves upset, but above all with the enormous doubt about how he had known that I was wearing the cloth he had gifted to me, I left the girls bathroom, and breathing deeply got ready to begin one more school day

Like every day after school I returned to home on my own, like every day I ate alone when I got there, like always I did my homework alone, because even when I was so small, not only in height but also in age, I had shown and extraordinary maturity for my short age, that is until that moment

I had been crying for ten minutes openly and without any consolation, the mobile device on the little table in the living room in front of me, next to my open books and notebooks from the homework I had just finished doing. In the screen of the device the message I had written, ten minutes ago, could be read:

“I have to see you, pretty please” it was a plea, because the sadness, the anguish and worries hadn’t let me concentrate in nothing else during the whole day. And even so I had managed to obtain an outstanding grade in a surprise math exam. That would have been enough pretext for any other to feel blissful, but I had other more important things in which to think

On which I was thinking when the door bell rang, practically making me jump in fright, still crying I ran to open the door and opened it with a bang, without looking before opening it, for I perfectly well knew who it was

“I HATE YOU!” I yelled at him as soon as I opened the door “how could you do this to me?” I complained while turning around and leaving him standing at the entry

“Hello Michelle” he greeted me calmly while closing the door and followed me to the living room where I was lying on the couch, crying even more

“Had a nice day?” he asked while getting close, I listened how he checked the homework I had been doing while I kept on crying “those problems are rather simple and easy” he commented while putting all my things in order

“THOSE PROBLEMS ARE EASY TO RESOLVE!” I screamed turning to look at him, rather upset “this problem isn’t!” I added while pointing towards my lower belly

With a calm stride he came and sat by my side and hugged me, immediately I snuggled against his enormous and strong body, after some minutes of crying over him I calmed down and turned to see him with a wet face and reddened eyes from crying so much

“What are we going to do?” I asked with a just a thread of voice, like a little girl that asked her father for help, I looked at him lifting my face completely for how tall he was, in my eyes clearly expressed all my doubts and fears

“We are going to care for our baby” he answered with a smile while placing his enormous hand a bit below where my abdomen would be, just where our baby would be growing inside of me

“But…?” I asked full of doubts

“But there won’t be any problem” he assured me, again, after we had been kissing deeply and intensely for several minutes

“Are…are you very sure?” I asked slightly more tranquil, searching in him the confidence and security that I so much needed at that moment

“Of course I am” he answered immediately with a wide and confident smile thus making me smile again in turn

“You have already eaten, right?” he asked and I answered with a brief movement of my head “very well, have you finished your homework?” and again I answered in a similar manner “well then all that’s left is for you to get changed and go to your ballet class”

“I’m not sure I want to go” I told him; full of doubts and in a low voice without separating myself from him

“Come on, the exercise will do you good, both of you” he commented while getting up and taking my hand took me to my bedroom so I could change, in front of him, while he told me of all the things he had been thinking and planning since that morning when I gave him the news

“¿liste mon petite ballerina?” he asked, a few minutes later before we left the house, with that deep and strange accent of his that always gave me a delicious shudder in my whole body. A bit nervous I just shook my head again in agreement

“Oh yes, before I forget” he said while handing me a strange jar “I need you to take two of this, everyday without exception, starting right now” he commanded

“What are they?” I asked while getting a glass with water so I could obey his indication

“Obviously, prenatal vitamins” he answered with a wink while I swallowed them and he carried my bag with all I needed for my class

Minutes later, together, hand in hand, we arrived to where I took, everyday, my ballet classes. Where all my teachers and classmates believe that he was my daddy