Chapter Eight: Anger or The Ghost of A Place Belonging To An Accidental Dragonslayer Keeps Leaving The Toliet Seat Up!

                                              FIVE YEARS AGO.

Wastelandia was no-one’s idea of prime real estate. A barren, cracked, scorched landscape only inhabited by the hardiest of tribes.

One such was the Naru-Speyr, often mistranslated as ‘Narrow Spear’ by surrounding villages. The Naru were a Barbarian clan who had ignored the progress of civilisation and sought to remain true to their roots, in spite of the development by Elven camps.

Even though the two races were not on speaking terms, it never blossomed into all out war, for the simple reason that the Elves were quite content to watch the Naru sacrifice themselves in the name of tradition.

As the Elves were fond of saying: ‘Why buy a dog and bark yourself?’

Among the Naru, stood a fierce young woman by the name of Helga Bearmonger, who stuck out like a rock in a river. She quietly rejected the honeyed teachings of the High Priest and chose to sit under a tree.

Her closest friend Blue, soon found her after the sermon.

“Did you hear?” He said. “Some modern folk were flooded out, and the survivors have to live in an abandoned Arena. One of their number is huge muscular woman, who eats all their chicken for protein.”

“Who’s the idiot that brought her along?”

“Some surgeon. I suppose she is good for security.”

Helga spat to her left. “You would have to be a raging moron to think that was a good idea.” She scoffed. “Then again, we have our fair share, so who am I to judge?”

“You’re talking about the High Priest?” Blue said. “He has noble goals.”

“Funny how those goals keep him safe, while everyone else gets to die.”

“Not everyone. Those that survive are worshipped as Champions.”

“Anyone seduced by a forked tongue, forfeits their life.” Helga said, with contempt. “Their lack of brains makes them no more than cattle. Notice how no-one questions: Why does this man not volunteer?”

“He was asked that once and said he has be the Shepherd, the one that guides others to Paradise.”

“And there it is. He sees everyone as Sheep and is not afraid to admit it. That’s how little he thinks of the people under his wing.”

Visibly annoyed Blue got up.

“If that’s how you think of me, then maybe I’m wasting my time.”

He ran off before Helga could answer.

                                                                                                  ***

Still wounded by her choice of words, Helga left the village on the cusp of morning, when the sky was still dark and fading.

She took a horse to the ‘Pit of Champions’, an abandoned quarry and home to the a fierce red Dragon.

The fight took the best part of an hour, with Helga not wanting to kill the beast, but wound it enough to avoid showing up. Unfortunately, she underestimated the weakness of the supports and watched as the side of the mountain slid down on top of the Dragon, burying it completely.

Upon hearing the noise and chaos, the Chieftain arrived to find Helga propped up on a flat rock, bloodied and exhausted. She didn’t bother to get up, she knew what was coming.

“Do you know what you’ve done?” The Chieftain said.

“I stopped all the senseless killing,” Helga said, under a wet mop of hair.

“Foolish girl, you’ve only created more! The Elves left us alone because they knew our number was limited, but now the population will grow and the village expand. And where do you think it will expand into?”

Helga looked away. “Elven territory.”

“And you, in all your recklessness, put us on a War footing.”

“It wasn’t…”

“It wasn’t thought out, I can see that. You might think it was justified, but in the end, it’s the actions of angry child. A child with no thought for her own people.”

“How righteous of you to doom us all.” The High Priest said. “What will you do now? Ask the Elves for a new Dragon? Seeing how you’ve taken it upon yourself to lead us into bright new future, I am curious as to how you will save us from extinction.”

“Tsk.” Helga said, gritting her teeth.

The High Priest was practically dancing. “Can you elaborate, oh War leader?”

Helga jumped down from the rock, took her spear and slammed the wooden shaft against the Priests’ neck. The old man went down on his back, gasping for air.

“Elaborate that.”

The guards surrounded Helga with a ring of swords. She put her hands up.

“We have no choice but to move on,” The Chieftain said. “The nearest place is an ice sheet on the Frost Barrens. It will be adequate for the time being.”

“What about me?” Helga asked.

The Chieftain removed his Head-dress and pushed it into her arms.

“You wanted to Queen of the Mud? You stay here alone. Do not contact us. Do not try and find us. We are done with you, forever more.”

Helga clutched at the Bear Head, as the others walked away with scowling, dark expressions.

                                                                            ***

A little over five months passed and Helga made shelter inside the Quarry with a limited supply of Dragon meat.

The small hovel she had carved out with a pick axe, included a slab for a bed and toilet over a bottomless pit, where the seat was inexplicably lifted up every morning.

Things were not good.

The meat was turning sour, which meant she would have to find a way to hunt inside Elven territory. It was troublesome at best, for someone her size was not built for stealth.

Around Midday, a group of ten bandits showed up, each and every one as ugly as the next.

“Hoo-wee!” The leader said. He had a long dark beard and wore a Gamblers coat. “Here I was thinking, I get some coin for these here Drako bones, and what do we stumble upon? One exquisite Giantess.” Helga rolled her eyes and strolled over to meet him. “That’s what I like, we can all take a turn, if you resist, then those big shiny muscles will be even more ---“

Helga smashed the man’s legs with shaft of her spear, causing him to fall to his knees. She then skewered from him through the heart and legs.

Turning to the others, she cracked her knuckles.

“Your leader has fallen, I will take his place. If you kill me now, that’s fine. On the other hand, work with me and I teach you how to fight guards, how to build traps, make all the money.” She plucked out the spear and threw it at their feet. “Make up your mind. You have until I finish food.”

                                                            PRESENT DAY

 Ruby woke to the sound of walls shaking.

Rolling out of her bunk, she was surprised to see the door vibrate before being torn off its hinges and thrown to one side. A dark shadow filled the space.

“Tux-Eeee-Doh!” It said.

“ When did this door start talking?” Ruby asked out loud, before being lifted out and slammed against the outer wall.

Helga Bearmonger was not in the mood for jokes.

“Where is it?” She said, in a low growl.

“Where’s what?”

“The Ancient Warrior crown. A trophy passed down through the ages.”

“Whaaaa?”

“HOLD UP!” A tiny voice shouted to the left. Both women turned to see ‘The Escapers Club’ in a perfect line, pointing heart-shaped badges in Helga’s direction.

Seriously?    Ruby thought. You’re doing a ‘Magic girls’ routine on this beast woman?

“Release her, immediately!” Paula said, “We can’t have this place be turned into a house of violent actions!”

Yeah, violence in a prison, who’d a thought?

“Free our Ruby!” Roberta said. “And be gone!”

She’s not a ghost.

“Do not interfere with council business.” Helga said.

“What council?” Ruby asked.

“Desecration requires a rule of the council. If they are not available, one is to take it upon themselves.”

This is way too long in the air for a lecture.

“Look,” Ruby said, trying not look down the woman’s nose. “I haven’t seen no trophy. You think I want to be someone you know?”

“She means the Bearskin head-dress.” Said a sultry voice to the right. It was polite but laced with undertones of menace. “Pardon my intrusion; I know you have a lot to discuss.”

“This has nothing do with you, Smoke.” Helga said.

“You are man-handling my Bosses’ favourite tool. She wouldn’t be best pleased if it were broken.”

Helga weighed up her options. Even with all her might, she couldn’t afford to have a contract put on her, which could involve poisons or night-time ‘accidents’.

Carefully placing the girl back down, the big woman offered up a cold stare, before storming off. Brushing herself off, Ruby got a good look at the stranger.

The woman was middle-aged, slim, and pale in complexion, all wrapped up in a Victorian funeral dress. Closing the lace umbrella, she offered up a smile which didn’t reach her dead reptilian eyes.

Even the Snake Maids couldn’t pull that off.

“Time to freshen up.” Smoke said, using a feather duster on Ruby’s shoulders. “It seems even Death can’t hold you back.” She snapped the duster back. “I’m impressed, that’s…”

“Dedication. Yeah, I hear that a lot.”

The woman turned to the ‘Escapers Club’ who was still lowering their heads in respect.

“Good work, ladies.” She said. “Now go fetch someone who can put a door back.”

“With Godspeed, ma’am.” Georgia said.

For some reason, Ruby felt no fear toward the stranger; it was almost like she was just another Wolf in the pack. How much of the previous soul was lingering inside?

The woman gestured toward the exit.

“Shall we?”

“Shall we what?”

“Venture forth, to the ‘Happy Place.’”

                                                                           ***

On the way to the ‘The Happy Place’, Ruby wondered what kind of clichés the boss lady would encompass. Would it be the archetypal Dragon Lady? A Samurai girl with a deadly fan? Or a modern setting where she wears a business suit and one of those Dongles that fit in the ear?

She could not wait to sit through whatever well-worn trope was waiting for her at the far end of the red corridor.

Smoke grabbed the double door handles in both hands.

“Welcome home, Silent Scorpion.”

Hoo-hoo! I get a scary name! And I would have also accepted: ‘Prepare yourself.’

Ruby was ready to inhale the scent of dimly lit lanterns and drown her senses in the ancient Eastern décor. Except none of those came to pass.

Cheesy pop music pulsed overhead, while cat-themed waitresses scooped up plates and took orders.

“It’s a Maid Café.” Ruby said.

“Well, yeah.” Smoke replied, somewhat confused. “How else can we make use of the space with these uniforms?”

“What about the whole ‘Silent Scorpion’ thing?”

“That’s your gift…the gift of mime.”

I was a Mime artist?!

“I’m not sure about this,” Ruby said.

“What are you talking about?” Smoke replied, threading through a rush hour crowd. “You got off on this vibe, loved riding the pressure.”

No wonder she died early, it was probably a coping mechanism

.”Where are we going?”

“Where else? Gotta tell the Boss.”

Smoke approached a smiling blue mascot shaped like a star and waving at customers. Upon seeing Ruby, the mascot thumbed toward a door, signalling for them to follow.

In the back rooms, the Star-Thing banged on the locker room door, causing everyone inside to exit quickly. Now they were alone.

“It’s always a pleasure to see a returning employee.” The Mascot said, not bothering to unmask themselves.

A click went on in Ruby’s head: Mademoiselle?

“The boss has been waiting.” Smoke said. “Almost a year.”

Mademoiselle shook her head.

“Once word got out you were alive,” She said. “You should have made me your first call, but instead you got taken by Hal. Understandable why it was put off, that Ninja has no respect for personal space.” The Star-Thing sat down. “What I don’t get is why you let Hal take you. The old Ruby wouldn’t have made those kinds of mistakes.”

“I don’t know, maybe I was having an off day, with the whole dying and everything.”

“People like you don’t have off days. Even on your actual off days, you’re in the gym working the weights, constantly improving. I had to tell you to dial it down, because your muscles were coming through. We can’t have Barbarians working the shift. This place is a Palace of dreams and delusions; we want to keep it that way.”

Smoke leaned in. “Hey Boss, you don’t think…?”

“I’m getting to it, I’m getting to it.” Mademoiselle said, waving dismissively.

“Listen, it is rare, but there’s a chance your Traits might have been altered upon you coming back to life.”

“Traits?”

“Yeah.” Smoke said. “The thing we are born with. It determines our life-long skills, for example: The ‘Anvil’ Trait, will make people experts in blades. The ‘Marathon’ Trait will give them endurance and so on…”

“Why are you telling her things she already knows?”

“It felt like the right time to do it.”

Ruby put a hand up. “You both have Traits?” .

“Mine is Empire.” Mademoiselle said. “Something that produces a natural leader.”

Smoke bowed slightly. “Powder Keg, explosives expert. Hence the name.”

“And what was mine?”

Mademoiselle smiled. “Haunted House.”

“Haunted House?”

“You give off a cold vibe, which makes people less likely to approach you.”

Ruby cringed inwardly.

Of course I would get the Tsundere card!

“So, can I really get a new one by coming back to life?” She said.

“Only one way to find out,” Mademoiselle said, and uncovered an object that looked like an over-sized Snow Globe. “Black Market Scanners are used to root out people in disguise and know their true intentions.”

Ruby went pale. The last thing she needed was to blow her secret identity.

Crap. If they find out I’m a dude, they’re going to end me, for sure. I can’t back out now; they’ll be even more suspicious.

“Place your hand on the ball.” Smoke said. “And all will be revealed.”

Sweating profusely, Ruby swallowed on a dry throat and closed her eyes. Touching the glass, she watched it glow bright blue and fade into a swirling mist.

Well, I hope the next life will be quieter. Maybe I will finally wake up as someone normal. A boy who lives in small village, is late for school and has a shy girl for a best friend. Or an office worker who dreams of that pink Nougat he tried one time on vacation. Damn, now I’m hungry.

“Huh, this I did not expect.” Mademoiselle said, lifting the green-tinted goggles.

Here comes the pain.

“What the hell does that mean?” Smoke said.

Ruby popped an eye open and read the words written inside the globe:

‘Fate of the nation’.

Both women turned to look at the girl, who smiled weakly.

“I guess this means I get a raise?” She said, nervously.