Calm Before The Storm

I sit up from my bed clutching my book and I notice that it is now light outside.

I glance over at the clock and it says 10:11AM.

Oh, wow I time traveled, I guess.

I mean do I even sleep?

I should go downstairs and see what my parents are doing.

I head downstairs and notice my parents about to leave out the door.

I follow my parents closely to see what I can find out.

While heading to the train station, I hear my parents start discussing some things about Shinichi.

“I’m worried about Shinichi.” My father says to my mother. “Is he really ok at that pharmacy?”

“It’s his life. He needs to figure it out. He still has, Kaz and Emi, his own parents alive to give him help if he needs it.” My mom retorts.

“I know he loved Michiru but she’s not coming back.”

Um… I’m right here, dad but, I get it.

“He should try to be happy.” He continues.

“I know what you mean. It’s his life though. You don’t need to be interfering. He’s a grown man.”

“You’re right. Well, we’re here.”

Oh, here’s where my marker is.

It looks nice.

Thanks mom and dad I say as tears start to fall.

Wow, I can still cry.

I didn’t think I could still cry.

I mean I was with God last time but, I don’t know what is real at all most of the time.

My parents place the offering at the marker and I hear them clap to open their prayer.

A couple of minutes later I hear a second set of claps to close their prayer and they start to make their way back to their house.

I decide to hang out and wait for Shinichi to pay his respects.

I take a walk around to check out the shrine, when someone I don’t recognize comes up to my marker.

He looks vaguely familiar.

He places an offering, claps and begins to softly talk out loud while saying his prayer to me.

Thanks for that.

“Hello, Miss Kinzawa it’s me Takahiro Gotou. This is finally my first time to visit you here. I never knew where you were until I talked to your parents not too long ago and I offered my deepest apologies to them for what happened. Your dad let into me pretty hard but, your mom was pretty calm and wanted to know what I intended to do with this opportunity you gave me.”

Oh, this is him.

He’s grown up quite a bit.

He’s not a bad looking guy really.

I bet he has a bunch of girls chasing after him.

He continues speaking.

“I let them know I am not wasting this life you gave me and have been studying at a prestigious university’s engineering program. It was always an area I was good at but, baseball was cutting into that as I entered high school. I won’t let you down Miss Kinzawa. I am sorry you had to die for me to figure out my way in life. I just hope I can get Shinichi to forgive me but, I don’t know where to find him.”

Well, that’s good to know.

I will make him see you.

He needs to forgive you.

I chose to save you.

I was just too clumsy save myself as well.

“I wish I could have met you. Your old teacher told me so much about you and Shinichi. I feel a little better having said all this out loud to you. I’ll come by during Obon to see you again.”

And with that he claps his hands again, bows and turns to leave.

He’s a good kid…er I mean man.

He is still younger than I was.

I hope he has a good girl to help him relax a bit.

This still seems to weigh on him too much.

I don’t what time it is so, I take a look around the grave site waiting for Shinichi to arrive.

After some time, I finally see him.

He’s still tall, hair’s a little longer than I’m used to and he’s a little bit unshaven.

I want to hold him, and I instinctively try to do so but, fall through him.

He starts moving the offerings around and adding his own then begins to light some incense.

He claps his hands and bows his head.

He doesn’t let me hear him but he’s taking his time.

I wonder if I can do the same thing as the book so that I can touch him.

I reach out with my right hand nearly touching his back and focus.

“…me busy. I know that’s not the plan we had before but I just don’t have any desire…”

OH! What’s this?

I instinctively pull my hand back.

Was that his thoughts?

I focus again and decide to put both my hands and lay my head against his back.

The thoughts from him continue:

“… staying in and away from people. Then when I start to feel a little better, I have what happened last night. Dreams of false reunions and situations like nothing ever happened. This just serves to bring back the hopelessness and anger of being left here alone after so many years together. I hate myself being like this and I know you would as well but, I’m so lost. Well long story short, I keep hoping things will get better. I miss you every...”

I fall to the ground and start to cry.

This is more difficult than I thought.

I feel like a huge ball of emotions.

Hearing his thoughts and what he’s going through seems too much for me to handle.

So much hopelessness and so much despair.

Maybe it’s some sort of emotional feedback from his thoughts.

He’s holding his emotions in so much it seems.

I need to figure out this ability more.

It won’t be helpful if I’m stricken useless from the flood of emotions.

With that his prayer to me ends and I hear a clap, he lets out a sigh and turns to leave.

Oh, he’s done.

Time to follow him back to my parents’ home.