Prologue

The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, with petals blowing in the wind. Never before have I seen them so full before, but I guess it’s because it’s Hanami so I guess it’s definitely the perfect time. It’s as much of a staple throughout the school year as cute uniforms, the school festival, and girls running with toast in their mouth because they’re conveniently late for class.

That’s actually how I met Choco Ichigo, the cute, food-obsessed klutz who's always late for everything. It feels like only yesterday I met her on that fateful first day of school ,but now here I am amongst the cherry blossoms surrounding the school courtyard and there she is in that impossibly pink sailor fuku along with her reddish-pinkish hair tied up in strawberry-like buns and matching eyes that are half the size of her head.

Intense feelings of Moe started to burn up as I handed her the second button on my blazer to her with her crying tender joys while leaping into my arms and hugging me tightly. It was so emotionally it seemed too good to be true….

….and it was.

Yeah, sorry if you expected a straightforward romance with an Average Joe attracting the cutest girls in school, trying to decide which one he wants to give his heart to the most. Besides the placement would make no sense anyway, why put an emotional climax at the beginning? In fact, how did you get my journal anyway?!

Umm...I guess it would be fair to give a proper introduction.

Takuhiko Koizumi
Age 15 (Third Year Middle Schooler?)
Born November 11th
164 cm, 50 kg
Pink Hair and Eyes
Blood Type B

Anyway, that melodramatic monologue didn’t really happen to me….sort of. I just finished Sakura Koi, a gal game I’ve been playing all spring break. There’s plenty of other girls such as Himeno Kaicho, the Tsundere Student Council President, and Nadeshiko Yamato, the extremely traditional miko, but I went Choco because she’s both the cutest and I easily relate to her with her laziness and gluttony. That and her name combines “chocolate” and “strawberry”, which makes it tastier...literally I mean, although I guess you could be in the figurative sense as well.

This far from the first one I played though, I have mastered several games and by extension conquered many girls. Sadly though, I have not received an invitation from an e-mail from a cute demon girl to use my girl conquering skills in the real world. One would assume I’m the ultimate ladies’ man like I am with these games, but unfortunately, my luck with 3D girls is extremely low. Every time I try to talk to a cute girl my own age I like, I always seem to melt into an awkward pile of anxiety. I guess it was cute, but in a pathetic sense rather than an endearing sense. So I spend most of my time the way I’m doing now, sitting (or rather squatting) in a swirly chair wearing a Kyubey kigurumi using the computer with three monitors at the same time (the middle for games, the left for watching anime, and the right for surfing the Internet) while eating snacks and reading manga. I’m kind of a crazy multitasker like that.

I was feeling extremely tired, but I just spent most of the time the credits were rolling watching the latest episode of Nakunai. Sure my limbs and back were aching and my eyes were super heavy, but I assumed that was from the past six emotion-filled hours with Choco. Plus that’s what caffeinated soda and other sugary stuff is for.

I assumed that it was a normal night for me, just staying up late watching anime and playing video games when something unusual happened. I was minding my own business when the door suddenly slammed opened. I froze at the unexpected turn of events. At first, I thought it was my brother, Fukusuke, seeing how we share the room and he hasn’t had the computer since he got a job and I think I might’ve accidentally overwritten his save slot. But when I turned my chair around it was my mom. I was obviously terrified, but also confused as all hell since she’s usually cool and open-minded mom unlike the stereotypical education-obsessed, Japanese housewives you see on TV all the time. Heck, she’s a manga artist so she knows a lot of the otaku subculture and can tell the difference between myth from fact, mainly that we’re not serial killers and/or...people that do terrible things to kids, she even has an entire series about it. But there she was in the doorway giving me the most glaring death stare I have ever seen.

“What do you think you’re doing up this late?!” Mom demanded

“It’s spring break, why’s that?” I replied

“School starts next week and you’re still on the computer eating junk food guaranteed to keep you up all night!”

“Well, I didn’t know that! And heck, high school isn’t really compulsory and I have zero luck with people anyway so…”

“So nothing! I want a better future for you and don’t want your life to be wrecked like Fukusuke’s!”

“Hey, at least he’s happy being a NEET so I think it's still a good life!”

“He barely received employment and I honestly doubt it’ll be for very long!”

She gave a long sigh trying to chill out for a second.

“Look, I spent most of my adult life trying to be ‘the cool mom’ , but as I learned the hard way that I went too far and Fukusuke ended up being so unstable he had to be taken out of school when he was your age. And I’m not trying to be overly strict either, I just need to severely re-think my life. So at least try to go to school on Monday...or you’re grounded.”

As she left, she closed the door behind her. Obviously, I couldn’t survive that punishment so I just laid under the kotatsu that is my bed (the real bed is Fukusuke’s) cuddling my Umaru-chan body pillow trying to sleep. Being on a major sugar high, this wasn’t easy, but even without it I couldn’t help, but think that most of the anxiety from my previous schools would be repeated soon.