More Than Dreaming

In the paler light of daybreak, Justice seats herself in the chair before my desk. She embraces her sword close to her body as if it’s a dear friend.

“You’re already up? Did you at least get some rest?” I greet her after a small stretch.

“I’d slept enough for one night. I’ve been keeping watch since I’d woken up.”

“As long as you’re rested enough. But really; don’t push yourself more than you need to.”

I rise and set myself to preparing for the day. She, however, remains still, thoughtful as watches me closely.

“Did you have any dreams?” Conversation is brought back alive with her single question.

“I have dreams most every night. I know that I’d seen something, but as I’m awake, I can’t really remember it.”

“You used to tell us about your dreams so often. They were always interesting to hear. I wonder, have you dreamed of Stelaris?”

“You know of Stelaris as well?” Though her question catches me by surprise, I take it in stride. “I take it then that the me you knew had frequent dreams of it as well.”

“After you were hospitalized you’d began to dream of it almost nightly. It had taken some time until you were comfortable enough to open up about to anyone. But after you had, you would visit Neptanie and speak with her about them.” Nostalgia begins to mist about in her eyes. “And I used to ask to hear everything I could. It was amazing to me then; another world so unlike ours. I was enchanted by those stories.”

“But now it’s become par for the course for you.”

“Even back when it was clear that Stelaris wasn’t just a dream. What you’d learned from those dreams of that world had begun to be instrumental for the mysteries that we’d face.”

“It was? It sounds like I’d never once found Stelaris myself.”

“You were always searching for a way but by the end of it, you hadn’t. Everything you’d come to know had been through those dreams about that man: Fortino.”

“Fortino…” I sigh to myself as I think of him. “I, the me you’ve met in this world, had a dream that he’d perished. But it’s strange, I’d seen him alive again.”

“Wait. You’d met Fortino in a dream?” With all of the excitement that comes to her, she quickly rises from her seat and looks up to me with her large, innocent eyes.

“I haven’t had another dream through his eyes. But in the one dream I’d had… I’d chased after him. But no matter how hard I’d tried, I couldn’t reach him after all.

“But…” I pick up my sword from its resting place and show it to her yet in its scabbard. “When I’d woken up, this was in my arms.”

As she gives it a closer look, her eyes shoot wide open.

“There’s no way! You… You mean to say that you’d woken up with something from that world?”

“I didn’t have much time to process it since it was off to Pride right away. It would have been a waste of time fretting it when lives were at stake.”

I gently draw out the blade for her to see. The stars living in its glass edge light up in her verdant eyes.

“This sword is Fortino’s sword.”

“Nightfall.”

“It’s beyond me how it had returned with me to this world, but what I do know is that it’s my greatest sign that Fortino is still alive. It’s all the evidence I’d needed to learn that life is more than I’d ever realized. And after I’d gained this sword, I’d met you.”

“Could there be a connection between my coming to this world and its appearance?”

“We can’t rule out the possibility, but it’ll be challenging to prove it. Not at the least, just yesterday I was filled with doubts as to whether or not other worlds could truly exist. But now I’m well beyond that and all I’m doing now is making sense of it all.”

I reseal the blade away and catch her eyes which quickly glance up to meet mine. “You’d made a deal with the Demon of the Plains to come to this world. Is there any chance he’d told you about any phenomena related to this?”

“He hadn’t told me about anything as crazy as this being possible. But where I was… it was a gateway of sorts. I’d entered it so that I could leave my world behind to… search for you.”

“Then I’m curious; how did I end up being hospitalized in your world? Here it was from an accident involving Raging Serenity magic.”

“I… I’m not sure if I should tell you about that. There are some things that you’re better off knowing.”

“Astaroth had warned you. But if you’re shy to speak, I’ll tell you another situation that was beyond anything I knew.”

Gathering my blazer and placing it on my bed, I sort through a bit of clothing to change into before I reach to my bookshelf and continue my thought.

“After I’d… well… died, I’d woken up in Stelaris first but then there was another place I’d found myself in.”

“Another place? You’d died in this world?”

“It’s still odd to say it, but I had. I’ll explain more about that second part in time. But there was another world. No glass skies or prisons. It was a library. An enormous, never ending library filled with endless shelves and books.

“I was guided through it and when I’d read from its books, it had spoken of events in my life that I’d never experienced. It all seemed to be delusional, fake, but after I’d met you I’d started to understand that it was more than any of that.”

She’s engaged, caught entirely on the story I tell.

“A book had told me about Astaroth and an incident where I’d gone after him. Then it had revealed that I’d found myself with grievous injury after having protected Juna. I’d been abducted into some horrible place… The book spoke of things called Feral as well. I’d began to see these memories where I was fighting morbid creatures. They were like animals, but twisted, corrupt and malicious.”

“You were there? You have a connection to that place even in this world?” A breathy awe comes out with her words.

“Then you know of this library?”

“I do. And it was a secret you’d kept for so long. You used to find yourself there in perilous times. You’d told me only a bit about it. But you came to recall that you’d visited that place even as a child. I don’t know much about it beyond the stories you would tell me. And yet…”

“Since I was a child?”

The sight I’d seen had come back to me in a bright flash. Through the bookshelves, just out of sight, children running along and playing through that infinite library. I at last realize that one of those children had a head of blonde hair that was in every way like mine.

“What you’d read was correct. You were injured protecting Juna in my world and you’d died while you were in the emergency center. But… you came back to life somehow. It was always a mystery to us.”

“So that place, it’s a storehouse of information. The reason it had felt so familiar was because I’d been there before.” I’m lost in wonder but on the other side of the awe is a relief that a lead had at last fallen into my hands.

“When I was there, the last thing I’d felt… was this odd sensation. I knew there was someone I’d wanted to see but I’d never met them before. And yet, I knew them. In my last moments in that library, I’d asked to read about her and… And it was something that felt like nonsense when I woke up in that hospital bed. But now…”

“What was it? What did you read?” She’s practically on her tiptoes with how anxiously excited she is.

“That book had written in it that the person I was thinking of was my daughter. My most beloved gift that I’d received from her mother. Her name was… Rose.”

With my mind wandering and wondering so strongly, my focus goes with it. I can only glance around the room as if the answer is somewhere in its four walls. But it snaps back to mind that I’m not alone with this mystery. There’s one I can ask. I look to her and let her witness my deep longing to hear the truth.

“Justice, please tell me; did I have a daughter in your world? Lately I’ve had this strange feeling, it feels… horrible. As if I’m longing to see someone that doesn’t even exist. It’s painful, this feeling that I need to see them but I can’t. Ever since I’d suddenly had that impulse when I was in that library, it’s been at the back of my mind.”

“It was only within one year that you’d completed your campaign as the Celestial Knight.” She speaks to me in a matter of fact manner.

“But what about after that? Did I ever have a family? Did I ever get to meet Rose in your world? What about all the other worlds you’d visited? Did I meet Rose there? Did you meet her?”

The cacophonous racket now beginning to overwhelm my mind causes my temperament to falter. In all of the noise gaining on me, I can feel the memories scraping beneath the surface, but I can’t see them. Somewhere deeper inside there’s a knowing that Rose is waiting for me. That thought troubles me rather than gives me comfort. I wonder to myself if she’s safe.

Traitorous to myself, I can’t stop myself as I hold Rose by her shoulders and look at her with my troubled mind no longer reigned in. She stares into the mess that is whirling about inside of me. With a brief moment of acknowledgment, she closes her eyes and gently sweeps my hands away.

“I’d seen so much in those worlds. After I’d left so many behind, there are places where my memories blend together. Then those places fall apart as if they weren’t even real in the first place. I’m sorry.” She’s apologetic but she gives me a silent reminder to get my act together.

“My apologies. I suppose that I’d lost my cool. But… I can’t explain it. In that moment in the library, the only thing I’d really wanted was to see her. But that makes no sense, I’m not even that person who was her father, am I?”

“I think we’ve spoken enough about this. All this conversation seems to be doing is causing you misery. It’s too early to already be running ourselves ragged.”

“You’re right.” I sigh and fight against my reluctance to drop the topic. “The sun is up and we’d best make ourselves busy. If we’re going to save Celestia, then we’ll both need to stay sharp. I’ll give it what I can to see if I figure it out by myself. But I’ll just… need to talk it over more at a better time.”

“I’ll be around in the manor. Get yourself ready and we’ll do what we can today.”

She bows deeply to me despite that it seems hardly necessary. Keeping her head low, she leaves the room behind and I kick myself for my indiscretion.

“I must have frightened her. That was likely something uncomfortable for, especially that I’d pried so deeply.” I engage the lock on the door and slowly begin to unbutton my shirt.