To Doors

Sig and I bid farewell to Marine, Coral, and Shuri, who is going to watch after Coral while Marine researches how to fix me. I thank the two of them again for everything. Certain I’ll never be able to thank them enough.

Sig leads the way to my home. I expect it to be in the elf camp that Coral mentioned. But not so. Sig tells me I have a small apartment inside the city because I needed extra space for my work.

I assume he must mean my work as a four aspect healer, but when I ask him, he’s unsure. I never told him what kind of work I do. Or that I was a four aspect healer. I wonder how that can be when we are engaged to be married. Sig’s account of the explanation I once gave is simply my work is top secret. I’m not allowed to share details until we’re actually married. Which sounds rather criminal to me.

“Are you certain I’m not making you out for a cat’s-paw?” I ask. “Because it sounds like I’m trying to entrap you.”

Sig laughs me off. “You have no memories. You have no idea if you’re trying to entrap me.”

I have to admit he’s right.

“Besides,” Sig continues, “Ebir corroborates your story. Four aspect medicine is brand new and Triddy Forest has been flaunting it while also keeping it a guarded secret. They want others to know they have it, but don’t want them to have it for themselves. Thus, it makes sense that you have to remain a secret lest you get kidnapped by a foreign power.”

That idea had not yet occurred to me. Though, it probably should have. Having no memory, if I were kidnapped, I would be unable to provide my abductors with the information they want. Which, in the worst case, would lead to me being tortured and killed. I make a self note to keep my involvement with four aspect medicine a secret.

As Sig leads us through the city, I realize it’s not as crowded as I thought it would be. It must be around midday. Lunchtime if my grumbling stomach is correct. But the streets aren’t nearly as chock-a-block as earlier. It takes me several minutes to realize Sig is purposefully avoiding the main streets. Our trek winds along forgotten paths and alleys. More than once, I’m certain we actually cross through someone’s backyard. And my suspicions are confirmed when an elderly demon greets us merrily and asks if we want anything from her vegetable patch. As hungry as I am, I accept an odd orange plant to snack on.

“Do we always take this route?” I ask while crunching on my vegetable.

“Not always, but it’s so easy to misplace you in a crowd and after what happened earlier, I thought the scenic route would be best.”

“Misplace me?” I say with raised brow. “I’m not the last bottle of rum you tried hiding from your mates then forgot where you cached it.”

“First off, fun analogy. Second, I know you're not. I just don’t want to get separated from you again. Yesterday, you just— disappeared. No one had seen you. No one knew where you went. You wouldn’t respond to my messages. My trill couldn’t find you. I searched everywhere.”

I peer up at Sig. I can see him recalling the fear and worry I put him through. Deep lines cut into his handsome features, adding years to his complexion. He gazes down at me. Smiles serenely. His youth returns. But for the first time I notice his unshaven cheeks, the deep bags under his eyes.

Did he search for me nonstop since yesterday? Without sleep or rest? I can’t help but feel supremely guilty. My thoughts have been so focused on myself, I forgot to consider how difficult this must be for Sig. The girl he loves and plans to marry disappears without warning, causing him untold amounts of stress, then reappears only to have forgotten him entirely.

I shrink under the weight of my failure to realize Sig’s pain. “I’m sorry.” I say. My voice small.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. I’m just glad to have you back. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had—” He trails off. Swallows hard.

If I had died. I finish for him, but keep the thought in my mind.

“But hey.” Sig starts, his voice returning to his usual upbeat tone. “No sense dwelling on what almost was. You're here. You're safe. That’s what matters. And I can’t help but feel like you're finally opening up to me. I mean, really opening up.”

I tilt my head at him in confusion. “What do you mean?” I ask.

“It’s just a feeling I sometimes get, like you're holding yourself back. Like you’re trying to be the person you think I want you to be instead of your true self. Like earlier when you told me off for kissing you and when you stopped everyone from ganging up on Ebir. My quiet, reserved Mythriel? I could never picture you doing that. And even right now. Do you want to hold hands?”

I reflexively pull my hand away at the thought. Then feel incredibly stupid and guilty. What’s wrong with me? Shouldn’t I want to hold hands with the man I’m engaged to?

I shakily extend my hand to Sig. “I—If you want to.” I stammer. He snorts at my meager offer. Waves me off with a poorly concealed laugh.

“No, we don’t have to. I was just making a point. Normally, when we walk together, you immediately take my hand. In fact, you’ve always been very physical, very affectionate, but I’ve yet to see a trace of that elf. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to be that way. From your perspective, without your memories, it’s basically like we just met. I guess what I’m trying to say is you seem less suppressed, less weighed down. And I’m glad for you. I hope you can get your memories back and continue to be that way.”

Sig smiles down at me genially. I return it. But have to look away when my cheeks feel flush.

“Although, I must admit, I only realize how much I liked holding your hand now that I can’t.”

I force my hand to extend toward his.

“I’m not going to force you to hold my hand. Besides, we’re here. That’s your place.” He says, nodding towards a two level shack sandwiched between other shacks and surrounded by weeds.

My mouth makes a hard line. I look at Sig and point at the ragged structure. He nods sympathetically.

“Home sweet home.” I sigh.

Sig laughs. “It looks better on the inside. The yard used to be manicured to perfection, and I think it was scheduled to get painted at one point. Probably to keep up good appearances for the visiting dignitaries. But I don’t think anyone expected the summit to go this long, so no paint ever came, and your yard has returned to its natural state.”

“In harmony with nature?” I offer.

“That’s putting a positive spin on it. Come on. Let’s check inside.”

Sig stomps a path through the weed field. I follow in his wake. Count myself lucky I get to avoid wading through weeds to reach my door. We stop before the worn wood door that supposedly leads to my home. He goes to try the handle, but stops. He looks thoughtful for a moment. His brow furrows as he turns to me.

“You don’t have your key, do you?” He asks in a whisper.

I shake my head.

“I guess it's good you gave me one.” He whispers.

“I did?” I whisper back, unsure why we’re whispering.

“Yep.” He smiles.

Without warning, Sig draws his sword and kicks in my door in one swift motion.