WHAT is a MILF?

As the iron knight closed in on me, I decided to use my rod arm to skewer him. Wait, I can feel power welling up in it. Yes yes YES!

"EAT MY MAGICAL CURSE ENERGY!" I proclaimed as blasted a vile ball of green energy at the knight, blowing him to smithereens.

As the dust cleared, I saw the remains of the knight. My magic had been so potent not even his blood or guts remained. Only his armor was left as I decided to eviscerate that for good measure too.

*Ion cannon going offline*

Huh!? My arm suddenly returned to normal. No, this is my only spell! I can't be limited to a single use! I have far more mana to accommodate multiple uses!

"Oh no, the assassin-bot was wiped out! Now I might get fined too," a voice groaned.

I turned to recognize the fetish man from before.

"Ah, perfect timing you perverted scum. I was hoping to ask you about the "erotic protocol" I see flash before my eyes whenever I grope my breasts," I glared.

The man's demeanor changed as his face became bright red. "Step on me please and suck my blood, mommy."

"M- MOMMY!? I am a fine virgin you damn pervert!"

"B- But you look more like a milf."

"A "milf"?"

"Yeah, a really hot milf."

"Is this... your fetish?"

"Yeah, I really like vampire milfs."

"WHAT is a MILF!? A miserable little fetish of secrets!?"

"You misquoted Dracula."

"Dracula? My ancestor? Hoh? So you heard his words. Then are you a vampire just like me?"

"Uh, I wouldn't mind being one."

So he is a mere human. In that case...

"Young man, I'm disgusted by your behavior," a woman's voice growled.

I turned to notice a young woman with long crimson hair. To be honest, she reminded me of my mother. The woman immediately grabbed Fetish man and dragged him away by his ear.

"Are you going to punish me for getting fired?" Fetish man asked.

"Fired? I heard not about that. No, I'm going to kill you for writing that disgusting fanfic about me," the woman glared. Fetish man's demeanor changed once more as fear consumed him. "I was disgusted with what I read. So I become a vampire "milf", suck your blood then get beaten by a giant squid which quote, "gags me with one of it's tentacles eliciting erotic moans from me while my breasts and ass are groped with it's other tentacles." I'm going to drain you of every damn ounce of blood in your body."

"YESS MOMMY-"

"On second thought, I'll have your father punish you."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

As the two left, I was still left in the dark.

"WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK IS A MILF!?"