Chapter 9:

Psychopath

En Passant Grandmaster


Yuusuke confidently took his hand off his knight as Zanni began to chuckle. "That's all you've got for a punishment? Well, I'll indulge," he sneered as he moved his king to h3.

Almost immediately, Zanni began to go pale upon noticing a potential mate. "No, no, NO! If he goes rook h6 it's over! I played with my food too much!" he thought as Yuusuke captured the rook at d1 with his knight, completely failing to realize his missed win.

"Now I'm turnin’ things around," Yuusuke tearfully grinned.

"Oh... Why was I even worried? You're an idiot," Zanni maliciously chuckled as he captured the rook at d6 with his bishop.

"Nah, cuz now I've got your bishop!" Yuusuke declared as he captured the bishop at d6 with his pawn.

"And I, your knight," Zanni sneered as he captured the knight at d1 with his knight.

...

As Iori cried, Cypress gazed at the board and scowled. "You almost got me, but I'm not falling for the same trap twice, you moved your queen to a5 while you were sobbing," he sneered as he moved his knight to g5.

"Oh boo! I was hoping it would work," Iori tearfully glared as she captured the pawn at c3 with her queen.

"So this is your true face, where'd all the 'YO it's your bitch' go?" Cypress sneered as he moved his queen to c4.

"Shut up! I'm having a bad day!" Iori tearfully glared as she captured the queen at c4 with her queen.

"You truly are a pathetic piece of shit. Your content is nothing but glorified prostitution," Cypress scoffed as he captured the queen at c4 with his bishop.

"DON'T INSULT MY CONTENT YOU FUCKING BITCH ASS MOHERFUCKER!" Iori shouted as she moved her pawn to e6.

"Oh? But all you do is flaunt your breasts, scantily clad yourself, and try to make yourself more arousing to the dumb simps that hurl money into the burn pit that's your channel. Lest not we forget about your N00DZ 0nly account," Cypress scoffed as he moved his h-rook to e1.

"I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!" Iori shouted as she moved her pawn to h6.

"But you're still in high school," Cypress sneered as he moved his knight to e4.

"I'm 18 years old!" Iori cried as she captured the knight at e4 with her bishop.

"But you're still just a pitiful abandoned poor high school girl, and there's nothing you can do about that," Cypress glared as he captured the bishop at e4 with his rook.

"I have 4 million subscribers!" Iori tearfully glared as she moved her pawn to g5.

"Four is an unlucky number in this country, and multiplied by a million, you truly are inching closer to death, guess that means you'll be reunited with mommy, daddy, and little imouto-Mika in hell!" Cypress sneered as he moved his bishop to g3.

"STOP MESSING WITH ME!" Iori shouted at the top of her lungs as she moved her pawn to d5.

"Messing with people is my job," Cypress glared as he captured the pawn at d5 with his bishop.

"HOW THE HELL IS THAT A JOB!?" Iori cried as she captured the bishop at d5 with her c-pawn.

"It's called scamming. I'm a scammer," Cypress smiled as he moved his rook to e5.

"Sc- Scammer!? Like the ones that trick you into clickin’ weird links that give your computer viruses?" Iori trembled as she moved her knight to c6.

"Yes, that could be a definition. However, I'm far more sophisticated than that. See, the whole reason I became a barber was so I could easily get close to people. All I have to do is strike up a conversation and dawn the perfect mask to woo my client, and then I have them in my palm. Then I can easily get what I want from them," Cypress stated as he moved his e-rook to e1.

"Then I gotta beat ya! I can't let anyone else get scammed!" Iori tearfully declared as she moved her bishop to d7.

"And what can you do? You only have a minute and 44 seconds left, I still have 3 minutes and 59 seconds left," Cypress glared as he moved his pawn to c3.

"I'll think of something!" Iori glared as she moved her pawn to a5.

"A wasted move, your head truly is empty, just like your finances and home," Cypress sighed as he moved his pawn to f4.

"STOP BRINGIN' UP MY FAMILY!" Iori shouted as she moved her king to d7.

"And you just blundered. I bet you're the entire reason your family abandoned you. What a tragedy, I heard you started streaming to make the lives of your mother and sister better, but now they're gone," Cypress sneered as he captured the pawn at g5 with his f-pawn.

"Yeah, they're dead, all because of me," Iori whimpered as she moved her king back to e8.

A cruel smile began to spread on Cypress' lips. "Ah yes, if I recall correctly they committed suicide, but didn't let you in on it," he sneered as he moved his pawn to g6.

"D- Don't remind me of that day, I wish it never happened," Iori trembled as she moved her bishop to f6.

"But it did, and just like in this game, there are no take backs," Cypress scoffed as he moved his bishop to d6.

"I can still, still... still," Iori trailed off as she somberly moved her king to d7.

"No, you can't do anything. There is no avoiding your painful death," Cypress glared as he moved his bishop to e5.

"I can still win!" Iori cried as she captured the bishop at e5 with her bishop.

"No, I've seen enough, you are hopeless," Cypress glared as he captured the bishop at e5 with his d-pawn.

"I still have HOPE! I'M IORI-CHAN! CUTE STREAMER EXTRAORDINAIRE!" Iori tearfully smiled as she captured the pawn at g6 with her f-pawn before flashing a peace sign.

"You have no hope, just delusion," Cypress scoffed as he moved his roof to f1.

"I have the power of friendship! My teammates will give me strength!" Iori cried as she moved her a-rook to f8.

Cypress let out a sigh as he captured the rook at f8 with his rook. "You are delusional, Zanni's probably digested your delinquent friend, and Gyro-sama will deal with the oni-tiger. No one even knows you're missing. When your death report hits the news, it'll be reported as you ditching school to ignorantly blast your face with a flamethrower for views. Perhaps I shouldn't even record your death with my phone," Cypress scoffed as Iori captured the rook at f8 with her rook.

"Why? Why would you deprive me of even THAT!?" Iori cried as she began to slip back into despair.

"Because I hate you, and want to see you suffer. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a woman suffering in the most painful ways imaginable," Cypress smirked as he moved his pawn to c4.

"YOU'RE DISGUSTING!" Iori cried as she moved her pawn to d4.

"Coming from a degenerate whore like you? Give me a break."

"Is there really nothing recording any of this?"

Cypress smirked and threw his phone into the wall, shattering it. "Nope, nothing. As for your phone, I confiscated it beforehand. Don't worry, THAT won't be broken, at least not until I type your suicide note. Well, enjoy the last 44 seconds of your life," he smirked as he moved his king to c2.

"So there isn't even anything to record me... GOOD!" Iori maliciously smiled as she slammed her rook down on f2.

A chill went down Cypress' spine as he stared at Iori. Now that Iori had a demented smile on her face, her smeared makeup only made her look more terrifying.

"Wha- how- huh!? Cypress stuttered as he moved his king to d3.

"What? Didn't you say you knew everything about me? So why ya so shocked?" Iori sneered as she captured the pawn at a7 with her rook.

"Is this some act!? You won't phase me!" Cypress shouted as he moved his pawn to g4.

"Nah, it's not an act, the reason my family died is cuz I poisoned them," Iori mused as she captured the pawn at h7 with her rook.

Cypress trembled as he moved his pawn to g5. "P- Poisoned!? But that means-"

"Yeah, I murdered them," Iori smiled as she moved her rook to h3.

Cypress was shaken by the revelation yet maintained his focus as he moved his king to e4. Iori seemed to be pleased with that move as she moved her rook to h4.

"No, your farce won't affect me any longer!" Cypress declared as he moved his king to f3.

"What farce? This is my true face. I'm a murderer, and I love it," Iori smiled in the most unsettling and terrifying way as she captured the pawn at e5 with her knight.

"YOU WON'T BEAT ME!" Cypress shouted as he moved his king to g3.

"Oh Cytrash Sickomore, I've slowly been severing your tendons this whole game," Iori dementedly smiled once more as she captured the pawn at g5 with her h-pawn.

Cypress immediately moved his pawn to c5. "I still have time! I just need to outlast-"

"I can move faster than time," Iori chuckled as she moved her king to c6.

Cypress frantically moved his king to f2 as Iori gave chase and moved her rook to f4. "Cheeeeck," she mockingly sang as Cypress moved his king to e2.

As Iori moved her pawn to g4, Cypress began to scream inside his head as he moved his king to e1. "HOW COULD SHE DO THIS!? HER RATING IS ONLY 500 AND SHE'S NEVER BEATEN ANYONE HIGHER THAN 700! SHE SHOULDN'T POSSESS THE SKILLS-"

"Thought your motto was 'Hate women, but don't underestimate em’. Guess you failed at that too," Iori sneered as she moved her pawn to g3.

"YOU'VE ONLY GOT 10 SECONDS LEFT! I'LL WIN!" Cypress shouted as he moved his king to e2.

"Nah, I'm winning. Check," Iori disturbingly grinned as she moved her rook to f2.

A delusional smile spread across Cypress' face as he moved his king to e1. "IF IT'S A STALEMATE, EVERYTHING'S NULLIFIED! I'LL TELL EVERYONE YOU'RE A MURDERER AND YOU'LL GO TO JAIL!" he shouted as Iori's timer ticked down to the 4th second.

SLAM!

"Nah, you lose so you get a hot facial and hair removal blowtorch. Checkmate!" Iori disturbingly smiled as she took her hand off the knight she slammed down on f3, and gave Cypress the middle finger.

Cypress went pale as Iori’s timer stopped with 4 seconds to spare, signifying both his loss and Iori’s frightening speed. As he began to sweat buckets and protest his loss, the blowtorch descended and mercilessly burned his face and head to the bone, all while he screamed in pain.

Iori chuckled as she began wiping her smeared makeup off. "Wow, that really turned me on. Reminded me of the days I went around murderin’ folks for thrillsies. I think I'm getting addicted to murder... Again."


The full game:

White: Cypress Sycamore (1939) Black: Iori Ishikiridokoro (500)

1. Nf3 d6

2. d4 Nf6

3. Bf4 g6

4. e4 Nxe4

5. Qe2 Bf5

6. Nc3 Nxc3

7. bxc3 c6

8. O-O-O Qa5

9. Ng5 Qxc3

10. Qc4 Qxc4

11. Bxc4 e6

12. Rhe1 h6

13. Ne4 Bxe4

14. Rxe4 g5

15. Bg3 d5

16. Bxd5 cxd5

17. Re5 Nc6

18. Ree1 Bg7

19. c3 a5

20. f4 Kd7

21. fxg5 Ke8

22. g6 Bf6

23. Bd6 Kd7

24. Be5 Bxe5

25. dxe5 fxg6

26. Rf1 Raf8

27. Rxf8 Rxf8

28. c4 d4

29. Kc2 Rf2+

30. Kd3 Rxa2

31. g4 Rxh2

32. g5 Rh3+

33. Ke4 Rh4+

34. Kf3 Nxe5+

35. Kg3 hxg5

36. c5 Kc6

37. Kf2 Rf4+

38. Ke2 g4

39. Ke1 g3

40. Ke2 Rf2+

41. Ke1 Nf3#

J.P.B
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Taylor J
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Elukard
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Mario Nakano 64
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