Chapter 8:


En Passant Grandmaster

Iori drowsily woke up to find herself gagged and restrained to a chair. "Mmph, MMPH!? NGH MMPH!?"

"Well hello there beautiful, I see you've awoken. It's your move," Cypress sneered.

Iori darted her head around and noticed a large overhead timer with only 4 minutes left on it, and below it, a chess board and time clock.

"MMPH NGH MMPH NGH MMPH!" Iori glared.

"Oh, my "deepest” apologies. I seem to have forgotten that I restrained you and slapped some tape on that mouth of yours. Well, I guess I can free one of your arms, it would look too suspicious if you died without even moving a piece," Cypress sneered as he pressed a button, freeing Iori's left arm.

"PEH! THE HELL'S GOING ON!?" Iori cried as she ripped the tape off her mouth.

"You're in a chess battle to the death with me."

"DEATH BATTLE!? HELL YEAH! So how long we been live for?"

"My, your mood sure changed quickly, but sorry to say, this is reality and you're going to die."

Iori blinked for a moment before staring at the chessboard. Cypress had already taken the liberty of moving his knight to f3. However, instead of moving, Iori did her intro.

"YO! It's your girl Iori-chan. I'M TRAPPED IN A DEATH GAME! That means I gotta bust outta here or all my hair gets shaved off. And when I say shaved, I mean PERMA-BALD! No hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes for the rest of eternity! So if I lose, the duct tape goes back on my mouth, I bawl my eyes out and become Miss hairless freakshow, and you get to make fun of me, so gift-sub to the max, cuz my hair and image are on the line!"

Cypress let out a laugh. "My, how delusional, but what can I expect from a dumb woman."

"Whoa! You dissin’ me cuz I'm a girl? That's recipe for mondo backlash ya slit-eyed ikemen."

"Quite insulting yourself, though as for your punishment, it's a lot hotter than what you were expecting," Cypress sneered as he pointed up towards a large blowtorch.

The blowtorch then let out a mighty blast, sending sweat down Iori’s face. “Damn, that shit’s really hot. So, loser gets a blowtorch to the face!? I'm down!"

"I'm sure that along with burning your face to the bone, those flames will also incinerate all that dye-damaged hair. Though you truly are an idiot. Well, your rating is only 500 after all."

"Batting 500's good!"

"Not in chess, 500's a pitiful rank, you have the skill of an idiot."

"So what's yours?"

"My rating is 1939."

"YO! That's double mine!"

"So, wish to chat some more? Oh, seem's "Iori'sdumbbitchsupersimpchampslave" just donated 69 yen," Cypress mockingly mused as he pulled out his phone.

"YO! Hook me up to the live feed so I can read chat!"

"Sorry, there is no live feed, or stream, but I will record your death. Your time is just about up."

Cypress sat and waited, but nothing happened. "Hmm? Why isn't- ...!"

Cypress got his answer as he looked down at the chessboard and noticed Iori had moved her pawn to d6.

"Your move, Ponytail," Iori grinned as Cypress glared and moved his pawn to d4.

"Well, I still have plenty of time left, and you only have three minutes and 44 seconds left before you lose on time," Cypress scoffed.

"Uh, so is this like, a real REAL death game?" Iori trembled as she nervously moved her knight to f6.

"Why yes, and you truly are going to die," Cypress smirked as he moved his bishop to f4.

"Wait, I'm going to die, l- Like for real?" Iori shuddered as she moved her pawn to g6.

"Yes, you were out when the match started, so now you have a time deficit. Well, not like you're smart enough to win anyway," Cypress scoffed as he moved his pawn to e4. Iori instantly captured the pawn at e4 with her knight as Cypress moved his queen to e2 and began to chuckle. "Perhaps you're unaware, but I'm quite skilled at blitz chess, my rating there is lower than my normal ranking, but still a respectable 1904."

"THERE'S DIFFERENT RATINGS!?" Iori cried as she moved her bishop to f5.

"Yes, one for classical, one for rapid, and one for blitz. However, your main rating that is shown is actually the overall combined rating of the three, and in most cases, it's the same as your classical rating, so I guess it's fair to say my true rating is indeed 1939. As for this game, we just so happen to be on blitz time so we each get 10 minutes at most," Cypress stated as he moved his knight to c3.

"I NEVER KNEW! And wait! You cheated and chloroed me, so I should get all my time back!" Iori glared as she captured the knight at c3 with her knight.

"Life isn't fair, you should know that considering how poor you are. Besides, I activated the DESPER before you lost consciousness, so you conking out is on you." Cypress maliciously grinned as he captured the knight at c3 with his bishop.

Iori paused as tears began to streak down her face. "I'm- I've got a channel," she tearfully smiled as she moved her pawn to c6.

"And what else? Your father was arrested and died in prison, your mother overworked herself and just like your younger sister, left you alone to fend for yourself!" Cypress cackled as he castled on the queen's side.

"Y- You know all that?"

"Yes, I do. I hate women so much that I make sure to do my research on them and never underestimate them, that way I can send them to hell without trouble."


"Why? Because women are crafty creatures that manipulate men with their looks and emotions. I despise-"

"NO! Why didn't you just kill me from the start!? You had your chance! So why!?"

"Suicidal, or terrified of the punishment? Well, there are two reasons; first, I enjoy making women suffer, second, killing you via the DESPER will easily send the message to your chess club friends."

"So... I'm gonna be humiliated and murdered, for a statement!? How cruel," Iori cried as her makeup began to smear.


At the abandoned lot, Yuusuke began to sweat as he arrived at the chess board.

"First, allow me to make some things clear. Once the DESPER is active, verbal agreement to drawing is forbidden," Zanni stated.

"Then how the hell do you draw!?" Yuusuke fumed.

"Either by stalemate or by triggering the repetition rule. As for time, you have a generous 4 hours on your clock. Should it run out, you will lose. As for verbal resignation, that is also forbidden. Though if you so choose to resign, simply twiddle your thumbs and wait for your clock to run out or simply allow me an easy mate. And as for your punishment, it shall take effect as soon as your loss is confirmed," Zanni stated as a chainsaw revved mere inches from Yuusuke's face.

"What the hell!? That's REAL!?"

"Yes, though rest assured, it will not be a factor DURING the game," Zanni chuckled as the chainsaw retracted and returned to the corner of the room.

Zanni opened by moving his pawn to e4, followed by Yuusuke moving his pawn to d5.

"The Scandinavian defense? Very well," Zanni nodded as he captured the pawn at d5 with his pawn.

"Scandinavian defense: Mieses-Kotrč variation," Yuusuke grinned as he captured the pawn at d5 with his queen.

"That will only bring forth my defenses," Zanni chuckled as he moved his knight to c3.

"Nah, you're in for a world of CHECK!" Yuusuke exclaimed as he moved his queen to e5.

Unphased and unamused, Zanni moved his bishop to e2. Yuusuke decided to bring his knight out to f6, followed by Zanni mirroring him by moving his knight to f3. Yuusuke then moved his queen back to e6, giving Zanni the chance to castle on his king's side. Yuusuke scratched his head as he thought before deciding to move his knight to c6. Next, Zanni moved his pawn to b3, followed by Yuusuke moving his pawn to g5.

"GEH! Why'd I do that!?" Yuusuke cried as Zanni captured his pawn at g5 with his knight.

Yuusuke quickly moved his queen to e5, as Zanni moved his bishop to c4. Seeing no other option, Yuusuke dejectedly moved his pawn to e6.

"Now, why don't we play chase, boy, or should I say queen," Zanni taunted as he moved his knight to f3, threatening Yusuke’s queen.

"How bout I pin your queen instead?" Yuusuke glared as he moved his queen to h5.

"My, quite the vulgar man you are. Tell me, do you harass women like that on a daily basis?" Zanni sneered as he moved his pawn to d4.

"I don't harass anyone unless they mess with me, then I kick their ass behind the old school building," Yuusuke declared as he moved his bishop to d6.

"My, you truly are a "smart" one, both on and off the chess board," Zanni sneered as he moved his rook to e1.

"Heh, now's where I can turn things around," Yuusuke thought as he moved his rook to g8.

"What a poor swing. I can dodge it with ease," Zanni scoffed as he moved his pawn to g3.

Yuusuke moved his pawn to e5 without a word as Zanni moved his knight to g5.

"Well guess we'll go queen-less," Yuusuke groaned as he captured the queen at d1 with his queen, and then watched as said queen was captured by Zanni's rook. “Guess e6 is my best bet," Yuusuke sighed as he moved his bishop to e6.

"No, I'm going to make this advantageous for myself," Zanni chuckled as he moved his pawn to d5.

"Guess it's time for some bloodshed," Yuusuke sighed as he captured the pawn at d5 with his bishop, followed by Zanni capturing said bishop with a bishop of his own.

Rather than continue the piece trading, Yuusuke opted to castle on the queen's side.

"And what were you flailing at with that?" Zanni asked as he captured the pawn at f7 with his knight.

"I... have a strategy," Yusuke trembled as he moved his rook to d7.

"A piss-poor one indeed. I believe you know what comes next, check," Zanni stated as he captured the bishop at d6 with his knight.

Yuusuke put his hand on his face as he captured the knight at d6 with his rook, and let out a groan as Zanni captured his rook at g8 with his bishop. Yuusuke then panicked and immediately captured the rook at d1 with his rook.

"My, what poor insight. It seems you are going to lose, and when you lose, first I'll take your arm, then I'll turn you into mincemeat. Rest assured, I will ensure you're fully conscious for as long as possible to ensure maximum pain and misery," Zanni maliciously smiled as his hand slowly hovered towards the knight at c3.

Yuusuke began to tremble. "Shit, SHIT! This guy's a psychopath! Why'd I have to start a fuss after bumping into him!? If I had been more alert- Oh, is this what I get for not studying? A gruesome n’ painful death? Wow, that's too cruel for a slacker like me," Yuusuke thought as tears began to pour out of his eyes.

Zanni burst out laughing as Yuusuke began to cry. "What a pathetic mound of flesh! You cry at the thought of losing and being subjected to such a gruesome death!? Oh, but you haven't even lost yet!"

"I don't wanna die," Yuusuke whimpered.

"Broken spirit already? Hmm, then why don't I throw you a bone," Zanni snickered as he moved his king to g2.

Yuusuke didn't seem any closer to snapping out of his despair as he captured the bishop at g8 with his knight.

"Still wish to have a wittle rook? Well last chance to move it, next turn I'm taking it," Zanni declared as he moved his bishop to b2.

Yuusuke continued to cry and mumble to himself as he moved his rook to d2.

"Quite the specimen. He doesn't appear to show any signs of recovery. Well, he has no chance of victory," Zanni chuckled as he moved his rook to c1.

Yuusuke moved his knight to f6, followed by Zanni moving his rook to d1. Yuusuke then let out a shriek and panicked as he moved his rook to d6.

"Weren't you going to capture that pawn at c2!? My, how wondrous your collapse is!" Zanni laughed as he moved his bishop to a3.

Yuusuke began to cry harder as he moved his knight to g4.

"I suppose I should indulge more upon how you will be disposed of. You see, my diet is strictly carnivorous as I eat only meat. Well, I guess that's not true since I do style my meat on buns and season it with spices and sauces. Fine wine also doesn't count as meat either, but enough of the tangent, human meat just so happens to be my favorite dish, and as such, you will ultimately be digested by yours truly,” Zanni chuckled as he moved his pawn to f3.

"Why? WHY!?" Yuusuke cried.

"Why you ask? Well, simply because I was instructed to eliminate you."

"Huh? F- For slackin’?"

"'Slacking'? Well I guess that's what led to your demise, but no; I was ordered to eliminate you because you joined that chess club."

"Huh? What's that got to do with anything?"

"That chess club should not have come to be, thus we are to eliminate you and that girl in order to send a message."


"Yes, you aren't the only one that is being targeted, though considering Cypress is dealing with her, I imagine she'll be receiving an equally painful death. Cypress despises women greatly, you know, especially cute women like that girl."

Hearing all that caused a fighting flame to be rekindled within Yuusuke. "If I win, will you let them all go and stop targetin’ us?"

"Why yes, though only if the match between your friend has not already begun, though for everything else, yes, I can guarantee that."

"Then I'm turnin’ things around, check!" Yuusuke declared as he moved his knight to e3.

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