The Three Words She Can Never Say

The instant that Nakamura arrived home after school that day, she made straight for her room, slamming the door behind her. Her parents had given her confused looks as she stormed upstairs, but they hadn't tried to stop her. Once she was alone, she collapsed onto her bed, and buried her face deep into her pillow. She kicked her legs up in the air as she screamed out her frustrations, the pillow muffling the noise.

How could Tachibana-kun say that he was giving up on Iwasaki, didn't he love her? So what if he had experienced one little setback, he should have kept trying. Iwasaki clearly felt the same way towards him. If she had just been honest with herself, none of this would have happened. But no, she had to go and get the wrong idea. Thinking that she was interested in Tachibana-kun? How could they all be such idiots?

She let out a groan as she rolled over onto her back, still clutching her pillow to her chest.

No, no. She needed to slow down and clear her head. If she was going to clear up this misunderstanding, she needed to figure out exactly how this had all started. When she had confronted Iwasaki back at the fireworks festival, she had pointed out her visits to the library with Tachibana. It was true that the pair of them had spent a lot of time together, but Iwasaki had never given her a chance to explain why. They had only been meeting up so that she could give him advice on his relationship with Iwasaki, nothing more. Iwasaki had immediately jumped to the wrong conclusions.

Then there was the gift she had given Tachibana on Christmas Eve. True, maybe it had given the wrong impression, but it was hardly a romantic present. It was only a pair of gloves. A sign of friendship, and nothing else. Was she not allowed to be friends with a boy without people getting the wrong idea?

Besides, how could she be interested in someone like Tachibana in that way? He was useless, and clumsy, and he always messes things up.

“...so why can I not stop thinking about him?”

She paused.

Slowly lifting her palm up to her face, she was surprised to find that tears had been rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh, that's why…”

He may have been a pain to deal with sometimes, but he was her friend. No, maybe it was already something more than that.

She liked him.

A sudden rush of heat flooded into her cheeks as she sat up, hugging her knees close to her body. It couldn't be, could it? She couldn't possibly be in love with him. And yet, now that she had said it to herself, it wasn't something that she could take back. She could no longer go on pretending otherwise.

Nakamura was in love with Tachibana.

Somehow, Iwasaki had realised that before even she was aware of it herself. She let out a bitter laugh. Was she really that easy to read? When exactly had her feelings towards him shifted into this? No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn't come up with a clear answer.

Not that any of it really mattered. Tachibana had only ever had eyes for Iwasaki. Even if Nakamura told him how she felt, it wouldn't change a thing. He was never going to see her as anything more than a friend. That's the part that Iwasaki didn't understand. Rejecting Tachibana for her sake wouldn't solve anything. Going down that path would only lead to three broken hearts. The alternative would be a much better option, where only one heart was broken - hers. If she wasn't there getting in between them, Tachibana and Iwasaki would have already gotten together by now. The two of them shouldn't have to give up their feelings for each other just for her sake.

She was the problem here.

That settled it then, she knew what she had to do next, though it didn't make it any easier. She had to forget all about him, bury any and all feelings she had ever had towards him. If she wasn't there any more, everything would resolve itself in time. It was the best for everyone, especially Tachibana.

With that thought, Nakamura fell back into her bed, pulling the sheets over her head as she let out a heartbroken sob.

“Goodbye, Tachibana-kun.”