Convention

The 3 boys sat and talked on the roof for the remaining duration of the journey, admiring the lush, futuristic city landscapes as they did.

As the train began to slow down, Matthew and Joseph led James to the end of the train, where a small hole with an open hatch mounted with a ladder leading down into the train was situated.

The boys climbed down into the train and sat down. It was the first time they had ever been the only people on a train in their whole lives, and the freedom of being able to sit down wherever they wanted was rather satisfying.

The train came to a gradual halt as it came to the subway platform they were meant to be stopping at. The station still looked rather depressing and dirty despite the perfect landscapes of the city it found itself situated in.

The floors were slightly dark, gridded beige, accompanied by depressing, grey, dirty walls with a similarly coloured roof. The lights made an annoying buzzing sound, not unlike the ones in their school, and emitted light of a bright white colour, further adding to the underlying creepy and desolate atmosphere the station created.

James moved his arm towards his face to survey the time in an attempt to be punctual for the boy's planned arrival time of 4:30; he figured knowing what the current time even was would be helpful in their endeavour.

The time was 3:02, meaning they would actually be earlier than expected, granting them more time at the anime convention.

“Well, we should probably get going then, shall we?” Joseph stated.

“Dude hell yeah!!” Matthew and James both excitedly shouted.

While Joseph was just as excited as them, (evident by that morning) he began to try his best to compose himself well. Joseph was almost all of the time, much more mature and well-composed when compared to his friends, and most of the boys in their school, or really just in general. Though that morning he was actually going to die if he didn't express his excitement in some way. And of course, he wouldn’t be friends with Matthew and James if he wasn’t prone to doing stupid shit.

The group excitedly ran up the dirty, old steps leading up into the enchanted streets of San Francisco. Initially shielding their eyes from the bright sun that blinded them, they lowered their arms from their faces to reveal the lush, futuristic environments that surrounded them.

Glass buildings with a very appealing grey and white colour scheme were dotted everywhere, many being in a skyscraper or dome shape. Pavements and patches of grass were placed very satisfyingly next to each other. Other decorations such as aqueducts and rivers were to be found in every inch and crevice of the city.

As the boys stood in awe admiring the landscape that surrounded them, a very good-looking blonde girl approached them, sporting a white t-shirt paired with light-blue jeans and almost perfect teeth, greeting them and offering them a map of the city. The boys took the map and thanked her.

The sheet was huge, all the boys worked together to hold it up correctly and stop it from flapping down. They laughed at their failure to properly coordinate, Joseph trying to help by telling them where to put their hands, though the boy's failures were even making him drop the map in the midst of laughter.

Once they had properly got themselves in a position where they could all see the map, they attempted to look for the location where the convention was being held. Unlike the hotel they were staying at, the convention actually listed the location where it was being held at on their crappy, 2000’s website: “New San Francisco Convention Centre”

After a brief moment of search, the boys found the way they had to go. It was fairly straightforward and only around a 25 minute walk from where they were currently standing. As the boys walked through the lush streets of “New San Francisco” admiring the landscapes, James began to talk.

“Dude, I have the most insane story to tell. You straight up won’t believe this,” James excitedly exclaimed.

“Yeah I’m sure we won’t!” Matthew cynically stated.

“Ah who am I kidding, he is a complete liar but, who knows, maybe this time he actually did marry the Spice Girls,” He continued.

“Oh come on, give him a chance,” Joseph said in his usual well brought up manner.

“Right, so you guys remember how I used to live in Ireland?” James asked.

“How you said you used to live in Ireland,” Matthew said.

“Well there used to be this awesome nacho business called, Nacho Business. Get it? It’s like a play on words. Like, it tells you it is a nacho business, and that it's also nacho business. Their slogan was something like, it’s our business, nachos,” James told them.

“That sounds really stupid,” Matthew commented.

“So I used to eat there like, every day of the week, and I really wanted to get a job there,” he proceeded.

“When you were 7?” Matthew asked.

“You know how ambitious I’ve always been Matthew,”

“Dude you literally spend your whole life reading Keen Can Talk,”

“Dude, you spend your whole life reading…some sort of inappropriate manga,”

“Okay guys let's break it up,” Joseph stated in an attempt to stop it from evolving into an argument. Though it was never going to, this was always how James and Matthew spoke to each other. Joseph was just always worrying about if it would damage their friendship, though nobody else had any sort of desire to be friends with either of them, so they really had no choice about who they were friends with.

“Joseph, this is nacho business!” James exclaimed.

“Okay…” Joseph quietly muttered.

“So anyway, then one day I did! And it was like, awesome and shit. But then guess what happened?!”

“The place shut down for child labour?” Matthew guessed.

“Actually no, it got shut down for like, money laundering or some other bad thing. And then I was like depressed and stuff,”

“Wow, not only were you the first 7 year old to get a job, but you were also the first 7 year old to get depression,” Matthew sneered.

“And I wrote this really sad country waltz song, it was kinda an epic,”

Really Sad Country Waltz Song

A composition by James Connors (7)

My life sucks,

Like a duck,

I want to say “fuck”,

“Nuck”

Ohhhhh, my life sucks,

Ohhhh, like a duck,

“Nuck…”

Ohhhhh, my life sucks,

Ohhhh, I like Huck,

Ohhhh, He’s pretty swell,

My life is hell,

“Woah, you were a musician too?” Matthew sarcastically commented.

“Honestly James, you are one hell of an entrepreneur. You even invented a system that allows you to be in 2 places at once!” Matthew continued.

“Huh? What do you mean,”

“Sorry James but, uh heh, you were with us playing Smash Bros. everyday when you were 7,” Joseph pointed out in the nicest way he could.

“Oh yeah but, I did the thing that Matthew said I did! The invention thingy,”

“Sarcasm,” Matthew clarified.

“Heh, sorry James,” Joseph happily laughed.

The boys continued to make their way to the convention centre. Despite the fact they knew the way they were going, they had no idea what the building actually looked like.

But when they got there it was very apparent where they were.

A massive dome with a similar colour scheme to the rest of the city’s architecture, accompanied by an entirely glass roof, massive futuristic roads and an awe inspiringly big aqueduct leading in through the building.

Overwhelming amounts of crowds of weebs walked in through the towering glass door. Many of them were Asian, cosplaying, or just taking on the appearance of a stereotypical, generic male college student.

The boys had never felt so excited to see any sight in their whole life. And it was actually the first recorded time of anime fans being excited to see people. The boy's eyes skimmed through thousands of cat girls, Naruto cosplayers and people who looked eerily similar to them. They now realised that they stood out like a sore thumb in their suits among the sea of people in casual attire and cosplay.

All of a sudden the boys felt extremely subconscious about their choice of clothes. They didn’t want a single blemish on this perfect day, so they collectively began sharing ideas as a team on how they might get rid of the suits and get some more casual clothing at the same time.

James thought of a bright idea: they could sell the suits for way more than what they were worth right outside the entrance, but you didn’t just pay with money, you also payed with your clothes.

While this sounds like a ridiculous idea to the average person, the average person probably wouldn’t know that anime fans aren’t actually people, and will resort to much more drastic measures for just about anything really.

Within minutes the boys had already sold off all their suits and gotten more casual clothes. (and around x2 the amount of money they had paid)

James was clothed in an orange hoodie and dark blue jeans. Joseph sported a white jumper with a chibi anime girl on it, accompanied by a black tracksuit. Matthew had sold his suit to a drunk man for another suit. Matthew didn’t really care about what he wore and thought his attire was kind of funny.

Walking inside, the boys were greeted with a mostly standard looking convention centre apart from the roads and aqueduct running through the building. The ground was that iconic convention centre ground, being dark blue and made of that one material. You know the one.

The boys gaped at the sight of all the things that surrounded them. Stores, merchandise, like-minded people, QNAs, among other things.

They ran around to every section doing everything they could. Matthew was enchanted by the 18+ section to the point where James and Joseph were pretty sure they had never seen him so happy. He even temporarily dropped his usual sarcastic personality in favour of a very positive, outgoing one.

Their bags were filled to the absolute brim with merchandise, DVDs, manga and games. And nothing bad had happened! Which was surprising considering trouble seemed to follow them wherever they went.

It was the best day of their lives.

                                                                                ***

As the boys walked through the convention centre, they heard a female, soft, though sudden, “Hey!” from their right.

The group collectively turned to the direction from where the voice spoke, only to see the most UwU cat girl they had ever laid their eyes upon, and considering that Matthew had shown them what he reads, that was pretty crazy.

She wore a black dress with a skirt that wouldn’t be considered small or tight, though would definitely not be considered large. On her feet she sported short, flat heels. On her head she wore a black headband with cat ears situated on it, accompanied by black gloves on her hands.

She had a very good figure and a slight tan. She looked Asian though had a very clear accent not unlike Joseph’s. Her hair was a light brown, styled as shoulder length with waves.

At that moment she was very clearly nervous and flustered, blushing heavily.

“S-sorry could I have an um, picture?” She timidly asked.

“With who?” Matthew asked in his usual deep, monotone voice.

“Um…him,” The girl quietly muttered as she looked to the floor, raising her finger towards James, putting a confused and slightly shocked expression on both Joseph's and Matthew’s face, as people asking to take photos with people cosplaying as their favourite characters at anime conventions was a very common occurrence, though James wasn’t cosplaying as anyone.

Matthew opened his mouth to ask the girl about this.

“Wait why, he’s not even cosplay-”

“Awesomesauce! Sure!” James excitedly said as he walked over to the girl, her face lighting up with joy and embarrassment as he did.

“Oh uh, r-really? T-thanks,” She nervously exclaimed, pulling her hair back as she did.

James stood next to the girl, putting his left arm around her neck as she tilted her head to rest on it. Both parties had an overjoyed expression on their faces as the girl’s friend took a photo of them. Her friend looked like a very typical American high-schooler, adding more reputability to the thought of the girl being Asian-American that loomed in the back of James’s head.

“Say cheese!” Her friend happily exclaimed, an underlying tone of corruptness residing in her voice.

“This is the second interaction I’ve had with a woman all year,” James quietly whispered into the girl’s ear, tilting his head towards her so she could hear him better.

“That’s so cool!” The girl happily answered.

“Yeah, the first one was a few days ago when I asked this one girl on the bus if I could sit next to her,” James continued.

The girl’s friend had now finished taking the photo and James and the girl returned to their previous positions, the girl turning to face James, a large, happy grin present on her face. The girl's pushiness was starting to put James off, as he was beginning to think she was kind of annoying, all desire he had to pursue her romantically evaporating.

With as much expression and happiness that she could put into the sentence, the girl said:

“Oh my god, are you a microwave, you’re hot,”

“I can’t tell which is more depressing, you thinking I’m hot, you mistaking me for a microwave, or you thinking microwaves are hot,”

“Um… Thank you so much for taking a picture with me!!” The girl happily and frantically exclaimed as she realised what she just said.

Just as James opened his mouth to begin to speak, the girl swiftly ran to the right, her friends starting to chase after her.

“Komni!-” One of her 2 friends screamed, though was swiftly cut off.

A sudden shriek echoed throughout the convention centre. James turned to the direction where the sound came from, only to whiteness a buff, shirtless man running away with the girl.

“SOMEBODY HELP!!!!” The girl frantically screeched in an attempt to alert everyone about the situation.

The man covered the girl’s mouth, stopping her from screaming. Her friend who was previously cut off by her scream and was clearly much more worried about her friend than the one who looked like your typical American highschooler, who was currently checking her nails, a dull expression present on her face, ran after her friend, “Komni,”

“YOU BASTARD! PUT HER DOWN!!” Her friend angrily shrieked. Without even turning around, the man punched her right in the head, causing her to fall unconscious, the highschooler girl not even bothering to check if she was all right.

James and his friends stared in shock as the man ran away with the girl, unsure on what to do.

There was a young man wearing a light blue baseball cap holding a small plastic bag of peanuts at the corner where the man was about to turn. Just as he passed the boy, he fell to the ground and began to sputter and wheeze, still holding Komni.

Then it clicked for James; the man had a peanut allergy.

“Sorry guys, have to run!” James told Matthew and Joseph, who were paralysed from the shock of what they were witnessing, leaving them unable to answer James.

James sprinted over to the peanut-eating boy. He knew he had to be fast or the man would get up and run away with Komni, who was shaking her body in every direction in an attempt to free herself from the clutches of the man.

“Sorry but, I need your nuts,” James told the boy as he snatched the bag from him.

“Hey, you stole my nuts, asshole! EVERYONE!! THIS GUY STOLE MY NUTS!!!” The boy shrieked.

The man, still coughing, turned around, only to see James now holding a large bag of peanuts, causing the man to impulsively open his mouth in shock as James took a handful from the bag.

“SUCK. MY. NUTS!!!” James screamed as he lunged himself towards the man, stuffing the handful in his mouth.

The man closed his mouth and swallowed, to which he began to cough, wheeze and splutter until he died.

“Here's your nuts back sir,” James politely said as he handed the bag back to the boy.

“Oh it’s okay guys, he gave me my nuts back,” he shouted to the eternity of the convention centre.

Komni climbed out of the arms of the man’s corpse, turning around only to see James standing there: her hero.

“Oh my god, you saved me!! You’re like, the coolest guy ever!” The girl exclaimed, putting her left hand on her chest as she did.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” James responded.

“He he, you’re funny too!” Komni pointed out.

Joseph and Matthew ran over to James, who they now temporarily viewed as a hero, as they would inevitably forget about this.

“James, that was epic!” Joseph exclaimed, congratulating James.

“I knew that you weren't a pathetic, no-life, who had no talents. You’re a pathetic no-life with 1 talent!” Matthew impressively said, it only being impressive for as it was the nicest thing he had ever said, which isn’t much of a high bar to pass.

A crowd began to gather around James. Whispers of stories and rumours could be heard being spread around, though all chatter came to an almost instant stop followed by a gasp. A clearing in the crowd was made, almost as if they were letting someone important come through to James.

A tall, tanned, grey haired Japanese man walked through and examined James.

“Ah, you saved that girl I see,” he declared.

“Yes, I did, do I know you?” James truthfully told him, a slight sense of fear present in his voice.

“I am the author of Oroka Nani Neko No Onnanoko, Haruki Tanaka, and Komni is my daughter. We are over here for the convention, and of course for a nice holiday,” he stated, sending James into a state of shock, leaving him unable to say anything. He couldn’t believe he had saved the daughter of the author of one of his favourite books. And on top of all that, it was now clear Komni was purely Asian, though James couldn't figure out why she had such an American accent.

“As a reward, you shall go on a date with my wonderful daughter. She is very kind and a man like you will protect her well,”

James guiltily looked down at Komni, whose face was a mixture between ecstatic and worried. James really did not want to go out with her, but he also didn’t want to disrespect the author of one of his favourite books, and pondered how it was much of a reward.

Though all of his questions about the rather strange reward were answered after he heard quotes coming from the crowd of people going along the lines of: “Aw, lucky!” and “I’m the one who stared at her public baby photos for hours! How come he gets the girl?!”

James, not wanting anything messy to happen, opened his mouth and nervously muttered the word:

“Yes,”

                                                                                  ***

James and Komni didn’t really talk to each other for the rest of the day. A feeling was present in James’s stomach, a feeling of dread. He did not want to go on this date.

The day felt as if it couldn’t be any longer. James struggled to enjoy himself, despite meeting Haruki Tanaka. Joseph made excited comments on the situation, clearly being overjoyed for James, while Matthew made his usual cynical comments.

The sky was dark by the time it was 7. James, Matthew and Joseph walked out of the building, gaping in awe at the sheer beauty of the city at night. As they stood amongst the crowds, admiring the beautiful stars and buildings, they heard a deep male voice beckon them over to their direction with a loud “Hey!”

James knew exactly who it was.

James timidly walked over, Joseph and Matthew following suit. They made their way out of the crowds, greeted by Haruki Tanaka standing right outside a limousine.

“Get in,” He said as he opened the back doors. Joseph and Matthew were ecstatic. Joseph stayed composed as he usually did and politely thanked Haruki, Matthew being his usual self and just running into the car.

James was about to climb into the compartment where Joseph and Matthew were, though was swiftly stopped by Haruki.

“You’re sitting with my daughter,” He said, emitting a daunting aura.

“Oh yeah, sorry James, make sure to say all the stuff we went over!” Joseph told James, who couldn’t remember what they went over.

Haruki opened the door to another compartment towards the front of the vehicle. James peeked through as the door opened, seeing Komni sitting at the far right corner, looking very flustered and nervous.

James climbed in the car, sitting on the far left corner, decently away from Komni.

“You’re staying in Hotel You Might Think it’s a Mental Asylum But it's Not We Swear, if I am correct, am I not?” Asked Haruki.

“Oh yep, that’s the one,” James timidly responded, not even considering asking how he knew that.

The car journey went on for about 20 minutes and James and Komni were yet to say a single word to each other. James noticed she looked kind of sad, and wondered if him sitting so far away from her was making her feel bad about herself.

James began to get up to sit next to her, the thought of why he was more worried about this random girl’s feelings than his own friend’s came into his mind, causing him to wonder if he actually did like this girl, though he dismissed the thought and assured himself it was just because he wanted to please Haruki.

As he sat down right next to her, not muttering a word, Komni blushed and turned her head to the ground. It was clear to James that she had done that because he began to sit next to her, and took notice of the fact that the saddened expression was still present on her face. It was clear it wasn’t there because of him.

James considered asking her what was wrong, though realised that he doesn’t even treat his friends that way. It was either that he started acting overly kind to everybody and had that become a part of his personality therefore he wouldn’t be acting differently towards this girl, or he could just take the easier route and just be his usual, overly flawed self towards everybody. James feared change.

James knew that the first option would require substantially more effort than the second one and would also probably confuse all his friends and classmates as to why he was acting so differently all of a sudden. That was 2 cons for the first option and he wasn’t bothered to think of cons for the second one so therefore the final results were 2 - 0.

James, Komni and Haruki sat in silence for the duration of the journey, with muffled comments coming from Joseph and Matthew at the back.

“Dude no way, they have my favourite chocolate too?” Matthew exclaimed.

“You’ve said that for all 5546 chocolates we’ve tried so far,” Joseph pointed out.

Eventually they came to a stop in front of the hotel. The boys climbed out of the car, with Joseph and James politely thanking Haruki, (James only doing it to leave a good impression on him) with Matthew running straight into the hotel.

The boys went up the elevator back to their room, which felt awfully cramped after being out in the city. Hanna was alerted to the door as the boys walked into the room. Stood there was an overly-happy Joseph, a smug Matthew and a depressed looking James.

Hanna was confused, as she assumed they would walk in looking as happy as can be, though instead a mixture of positive and negative emotions came from the boys, also questioning where their suits went.

“Was it good?” Hanna asked, intending to convey it in a positive manner, though it instead came out rather worried.

“James got a hot girlfriend,” Matthew smugly told Hanna, a grin on his face.

Hanna didn’t really know how to respond to this, and felt that she needed a little more information to figure out why James looked so dull.

“Oh, that’s…nice. Um, what’s her name?” Hannan uncomfortably asked.

“Komni, she’s Asian,” Matthew answered in his previous assholish voice.

“Oh how…wonderful. What’s with the dull look James?” Hanna asked, having finally gathered the courage to ask him.

“Um, well uh…it’s nothing. Don’t worry about me,” James responded, not wanting to put any stress on Hanna.

“Her super scary famous dad forced James to go on a date with her after he saved her from being kidnapped by this super buff dude!!” Joseph excitedly explained. Hanna was still perplexed as to why James looked so down, as she thought he would be proud of himself for such an accomplishment.

“When is the date?” Hanna timidly asked.

“Oh it’s…wait when is the date James?” Joseph asked.

“I’m not…sure,” James quietly muttered.

Everybody briefly stood in awkward silence, unsure of what to say.

SMASH.

The group collectively jolted as they swiftly turned towards the now broken window at the back of the room.

A tall, black-sunglass wearing, grey-haired Japanese man stood there, holding a katana in his left hand. Hanna was sent into an instant panic as she thought it was an intruder, though the boys all knew exactly who it was.

“Don’t hurt me, please! Or anyone else! Of course! But please don’t hurt me specifically!” Hanna begged, tears beginning to drip down her face.

The man slowly took off his sunglasses, opened his mouth, and said:

“For your information, James Connors, I have blown up the plane you were meant to be leaving on tomorrow, delaying your flight by 2 days. Your date with my daughter shall take place tomorrow. You shall meet outside the subway station in New San Francisco at 5, and shall depart from each other at Komni’s desired time,” Haruki explained.

“Yep,” James nervously muttered, putting a fake grin on his face.

“Thank you, James Connors,” Haruki said, proceeding to do a backflip out through the broken window shortly after.

The group stood in silence once again, Hanna paralysed in fear.

“Well James, we better get you ready!” Joseph exclaimed.