"Chapter Fou; Hidden Obsessions

Haru was beside me, watching me from some stairs.

He was resting, having finished his part.

"How do you deal with the club?" he asked.

"With this band on my forehead," I replied.

"Hmm, I see."

He got up and walked towards me.

"Here, use this to wipe your forehead," he said.

I turned to look where he was, holding out a small yellow towel, quite absorbent despite its size.

"Are you sure? And what about you?" I asked.

It was a bit of a silly question since I already knew the answer; fatigue was probably making me a bit dim-witted.

"Can't you see?" he said enthusiastically, pointing to what he had on his head, a kind of gray turban.

"Oh, I see now. Then I'll take you up on your offer," I said.

I took the towel from his hands, leaving the cardboard box on the floor, and wiped my forehead with it, feeling dry and refreshed.

"Ah, much better," he said.

"Now you might beat me in stacking boxes," he said.

"Yeah, we'll see."

I took the last box and brought it into the store.

Once inside, I looked through the glass and saw Haru looking at me.

It started raining; after all, the sky had been gray for a while now.

He was still outside.

"Hey, Haru!" I shouted, opening the door.

"Oh, sorry, sorry, I was lost in thought," he said.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Present Time.

"Riing....Riiing...."

A cell phone rang, followed by the ringtone of my own phone.

I turned over on my back, and instantly, the sunlight streaming in through the window hit me directly in the eyes, causing a sharp pain.

I opened my eyes.

For a split second, I glimpsed something really eerie, a guy staring at me while I slept.

"Ahhhhhg!" I screamed.

I sat up on the bed, and I could feel my heart racing so fast that I could easily hear the beats.

It felt like it was about to burst; I put my hand on my chest, starting to exhale deeply.

I wrinkled my face, squeezing my right hand against my chest as if it were about to escape.

"He's not here, he's not here," I began to repeat.

"Hahh....hahhh...."

I breathed deeply, hoarsely and forcefully.

I really felt like I was about to faint.

The cellphone, which had just stopped ringing, started ringing again, diverting my attention to it. I let it ring, while my heart slowly calmed down, my breathing returned to normal, and the dizziness faded away.

"He's not here," I repeated once more.

For the third time, the cellphone rang.

This time, I picked it up.

"Yui" it read.

"Damn, is it this late?" I said, checking the time.

It was 12:30 pm.

No wonder I had a slight acidic sensation in my stomach, asking for food; yesterday was the only time in months that I had eaten properly, on time, and a little extra, salty food, although my gourmet skills were not that good.

I slid my finger, and the call interface appeared.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Uh... Yui?" I answered.

"Yes?"

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"No, I just... wanted to confirm if you're coming; I've prepared lunch," she said.

Wait...

Is she inviting me for lunch?

"Uh... I guess I'll come..." I said without thinking.

"Okay," she said, a little excitedly.

She hung up immediately after that.

It seemed like she wanted to hang up before I said anything else... although I said that without thinking, I had no reason to refuse her invitation; after all, we didn't work today, and tomorrow was Sunday, so it wouldn't hurt...

Although... if I'm somewhat happy... "that"...

Besides... I think Yui wants something more from me... I'm not stupid, in fact, I have some experience with that type of girl, I don't want to make the same mistakes again... but I don't want to be so conceited just to think that, simply after a series of events.

After thinking that, the vivid memory of me washing her came to me.

"Hey... I'll wash your abdomen," I said.

"Uh... okay."

I slid my hand down her back, then brought it back up, slid it over her shoulder, and without looking, I rubbed it over her chest.

The soft sensation invaded my hand.

Snapping back to reality, I shook my head, as if that would make the memories go away.

After showering and getting ready, I walked to Yui's house.

As I descended the stairs, I could hear my neighbor arguing with someone.

"I didn't ask you for any of that!" he said.

That's all I heard, as I was in a bit of a hurry.

A while later, I arrived at the alley where Yui's apartment was located.

Once again, the restaurant was closed.

Right across from it, something caught my attention...

I walked towards it, looking at something that made me a little dizzy, death was in front of me, a small cat.

The same cat that was at Yui's house yesterday.

Could it be hers?...

I approached it; it was still breathing.

If I take it to a vet.... wait...

I looked at it more closely.

Its middle part was torn apart, something had run over it.

Right in the middle of the street, nobody stopped to look at it, nobody cared about it... I arrived too late; I can't do anything.

I picked it up; warmth was rapidly escaping from its body.

I felt a sense of unreality.

"Boom."

Its heart sounded intermittently, every few seconds...

It was undoubtedly on the verge of death.

I walked without much thought, almost in a zombie-like state, towards the park, which was in the middle in front of my apartment.

Some tears tried to come out, but they didn't; lately, I felt like I didn't know myself, there were times when just feeling good triggered slightly strange thoughts... even my mind began to feel somewhat deteriorated...

This morning, the guy staring at me while I slept.

That's an example of it.

Surely, I'll never forgive myself for being happy... after all I did.

My guilt... is still palpable deep in my heart.

I carried the cat with the same care I would carry a living cat.

Its blood stained all my shirt, my hands, my pants, my shoes, but it didn't matter, after all... that poor animal... what does it matter if I get dirty? Compared to me, the cat is dying.

Damn... every time I thought or talked about the word death, I felt a sensation of nausea, almost like it was a switch to make me feel bad.

I reached the tree.

After all, Yui's house was about a five-minute walk away.

It... wasn't breathing anymore.

At least it had someone embracing it lovingly until the end of its moments.

I felt the warmth quickly leaving their body; it was lukewarm.

I began to tear the earth from the ground with my bare hands, digging a hole.

At one point, one of my fingers brushed against a buried, somewhat sharp stone, and I felt it tear part of my finger.

"Darn it..." I said as I pulled my hand out of the sand.

I watched a stream of blood flow from it.

But...

I kept digging.

My hand hurt.

The earth began to harden, so I started to look around for something that could help make the hole bigger, until my gaze spotted a stick, straight as a bed board and thick as well.

I stood up, walked to the stick, grabbed it, and returned to the hole. I began to loosen the earth by forcefully stabbing the stick, and after the earth was loose, I used my hands to remove the soil from the ground, repeating this process over and over until the hole was big enough for the cat to fit comfortably.

I picked up the cat and gently placed it in the hole.

I looked at its expression; it had died slowly and painfully.

I think... I'll remember that face forever.

I started to cover it with the soil I had removed until its white body could no longer be seen amidst the sand.

A mound of sand protruded; I compacted it with my hands and placed a stick in it, like a sort of gravestone.

I stood up and turned, heading back to my house, after all, it was just across the street.

"I don't think... I'll go see Yui," I said.

I searched my pocket for my phone, found it, and dialed.

"Ring... ring..." I heard on the other end.

Just as I was leaving the park, a cellphone rang.

I turned to look in the direction of the park, and I saw...

"This..." she said.

I turned to look.

A Yui, looking at me.

The sun imposing at its highest point, was above her, a yellow skirt, a white blouse with a denim shirt over it, lovely loose brown hair, completely dark stockings with white shoes.

An umbrella to shield herself from the sun.

I was in zombie mode.

She dropped her umbrella, noticing "my condition."

After all, if looked at from the outside, it would seem like I had had an accident, as I had blood all over my clothes, and blood was flowing from my hand.

"What happened?!" she said, running towards me.

She took my hands.

"Hey... what happened to you?" she said.

Her voice was confusing to me, or was it my mind that was wrong.

I couldn't really hear what she was saying.

"Ah..." I said, vaguely babbling.

She buried her head in my chest.

"Hey... you're going to get dirty..." I said to her.

"What happened to you..." she said.

I saw two saline crystals falling to the ground.

"It's nothing... the blood isn't mine..." I said.

Even though it was bleeding so much, I didn't feel anything in my hands.

"This... I don't think I can eat..." I said.

She, silently, took my hands and we started walking towards her house.

"Hey... I don't want to-"

"Quiet, just follow me," she said.

As we walked, I asked her something.

"Hey... that cat... is it yours?"

I felt like when my mother used to take me by the hand after throwing a tantrum, from when I was almost one until then, I felt as empty and meaningless as I do now.

But... back then... it was okay to think like that because there was no reason to think differently, after all, if I had any problems, my mother would solve them for me, maybe my father.

I would go crying into their arms and she would give me a gentle pat on the head, she would ask me, "Son, what happened to you?" I would tell her my problems and she would find a way to solve them.

But... I don't have anyone like that.

Yui? No, she's almost on the same edge I am, not knowing if she's already fallen... Chie?... I think at this point she hates me... maybe she's with someone else... my father? I don't think so, he was a dry person, probably if I told him the things my mind spends energy thinking about, he would probably say something in the air, not taking me entirely seriously.

Haru?... I don't even want to think about it.

I feel like an idiot...

Even though I sought out this loneliness, and had decided to be in company until the end, now I felt overwhelmed by it.

Looking down at Yui's legs, a somewhat sad thought came to me.

"When... did everything become... so complicated?"

Now everything is so... damn annoying, that it seems like every little thing encompasses my life...

That's why I haven't been going out as much recently as I used to, before "the week of misfortunes".

Anything affected me greatly, sometimes I just didn't recognize myself at all, it seemed like I had never been through something like this, because I hadn't.

That week... was the first time I experienced true-

"No, actually, it was a stray..." she said a little sadly.

Her voice, and the handshake, brought me back to reality, out of the idle thoughts that roamed side by side inside my head, making my head ache.

Really... it was tiresome to have to think, think, and think.

"Poor thing..." I said.

Really...

"He hadn't known the warmth of an owner, nor had he felt the stability, the happiness of a full outing with friends, without worries, nor..."

I said without thinking, vaguely and ambiguously.

Trapped in my thoughts, I began to speak, apparently nonsensical things.

Yui stopped, eventually I did too, as I was being pulled by her warm and soft hand, now stained with blood.

"Are you still talking about the cat?" she asked me, glancing at me, curious, perhaps regretting interrupting me.

"You're right, I'm sorry for talking nonsense..." I said to her.

We were close to the apartment.

"But you're partly right, it was a little stray cat, its mother died the same way..." she said.

"I'm sorry, I got blood on you," I spoke.

Dazed, I couldn't hold a rational conversation.

You know? I considered myself good at handling uncomfortable or dangerous situations.

But since that afternoon, all my standards for handling anything, starting from handling myself, to handling every little thing, were completely destroyed.

The realities I had built based on my experiences over the years were completely shattered, so savagely... so cruelly, so deeply...

That I had no choice but to start from scratch.

Like a vulnerable little thing, prone to feeling fear for every little situation that happened, like this one I'm going through.

Death, old friend, stranger, seemingly melancholic for not seeing me again, once again visits me unexpectedly, showing me how cruel it can be...

"Don't worry..." she said.

"I think... It would be better to go to my house, I'll take a shower and..." I was going to speak, but Yui stopped and interrupted me.

"I have new men's clothes... Do you want them?"

"But..."

"It's your size," she said.

Uh... wait...

Because of recent events, I couldn't think entirely clearly, seeing something die awakened a certain air of retardation in me, almost like I couldn't think beyond this, but...

Yui's words made me feel something.

Discomfort?... why did she have men's clothes at her house?...

Maybe not, something else... it feels somewhat wrong.

Also... where did she have it? Yesterday I checked her whole house, and I couldn't see absolutely anything, just dust and loneliness.

Wait... I didn't check... that room...

We walked up the stairs, and she was behind me, as if she were making sure I wouldn't fall... or maybe... escape?.

The atmosphere felt somewhat... weird.

As if I were falling into an abyss.

Despite how I found her yesterday, she really recovered quickly, I thought, looking at Yui out of the corner of my eye.

"What's wrong Ryu?" she said to me, looking at me steadily, with a grin from ear to ear.

"Nothing," I said.

A smile, one that only a truly beautiful woman could make you feel uncomfortable with, not because it was a bad thing, but because it was such a neutral smile that you couldn't visualize what dark or bright feeling hid behind it.

We went inside, and she didn't let go of my hand until I sat down in a chair, surrounding a table.

The same one where we had dinner last night, but this time, it was different.

There wasn't the thin layer of dust surrounding everything visible in the room; it was quite clean...

I slid my finger across the table, completely clean.

Yesterday a layer of dust enveloped it, but not this time.

"I'll be right back," she said, leaving me alone.

I watched her head, indeed, to the room I hadn't checked; what else could be there?

Better not to think about it...

The idea that someone lived there regularly...

Made me feel something, not exactly jealousy or something romantic, but... anger.

After all...

She looked so lonely yesterday.

Things scattered on the floor, pills, dust, finding her lying on the floor, with dead eyes, waiting for her imminent death apparently, as if she had nothing in the world, thinking she lived with someone and finding her in this state...

Maybe I would hit the person.

I heard her steps hurriedly walking to where I was, jumping here and there.

She arrived, with a change of clothes and a towel.

They were tucked into a plastic bag, the towel smelled new.

"I thought... you lived with someone else," I asked.

"Someone else?" she asked.

"Like... the men's clothes... and that room..." I said.

"Do you remember when I asked you if you wanted to be my roommate?..." she asked.

"Hm... I remember..." I said.

"Well, that room is the one I was offering you, and the clothes... I bought them by mistake," she said.

Her face clearly said she was lying.

"I see..."

She scratched her right cheek while laughing softly.

"Hehe..."

"Well... are you going to bathe...?" she said.

"Oh... but the bathroom..."

"I've already prepared it," she said.

She prepared it?...

"All right," I said.

She took my hand and pulled me up with her.

"Wait, wait... I know where it is," I said.

"Oh, yes, right, sorry..." she said.

"Don't worry, it happens to me too," I said.

I walked alone to the bathroom; the tub was full.

Damn it...

So that's what she meant by "I've prepared it."

I undressed and got into the tub.

I got in, and the water purified my body.

In my apartment, I showered with a shower...

How long has it been since I got into a tub?.

Months.

It's refreshing.

After taking a refreshing bath, I got up and stood up in the tub, drying myself, Yui put on the clothes she had given me.

A tracksuit sweatshirt, along with a black tracksuit shirt.

It also had underwear, obviously.

"She bought it by mistake, huh..."

I thought maybe it was a gift for someone else, surely that had to be it.

When I opened the door, she was waiting there.

She clasped both hands and touched her cheek with her knuckle, placing a smile so genuinely happy that you could feel her happiness.

"It looks great on you, I knew it..." she said.

"But... the shirt is a bit tight on me..." I said.

My abdomen and chest were all marked with that shirt, but it was oddly cool.

"But anyway, thanks..." I said to her.

"Don't worry... so, shall we eat?" she said.

"I guess..."

We sat at the table, while she talked about some things and I kept the conversation going, this passed.

Later, we sat together, looking at the television.

She, with her legs curled up, looking at me instead of the TV.

My hair started to bother me, along with the heat and sweat, it was long.

"Do you have a hair tie?" I asked.

"Hm..." she said.

She grabbed her hand and searched her pocket, pulling out a hair tie.

I came, I adjusted my hair and made a small knot with the excess at the back, making a small ponytail behind my head.

I could see how Yui stared at me.

I also felt a sensation that I didn't think I would miss, my forehead uncovered, feeling the air, cool.

While watching something, Yui started to mumble something, I was focused on watching something, so Yui's voice sounded somewhat muffled, I couldn't really know what she was talking about.

"I didn't think... you could look... better..."

"What are you saying?" I said, turning to look at her.

"Nothing..." she said. Shrinking even more.

I looked at her, and she looked somewhat red.

I touched her with my right hand on her forehead.

She shrunk.

"Hmmm... you're a bit warm, are you sure you don't want to rest?" I asked.

She turned to look at her feet, hiding her face from mine.

"A bit..." she said.

"Rest, I'll leave for a while, I'll come back later," I said.

"Can... you... take me to the room?" she spoke softly, as her eyes sparkled.

I've been feeling it for a while... something's wrong.

I got the impression that she acts as if she doesn't feel bad, but she really does.

I think she's the kind of person who prefers to pretend than to show weakness, I guess?

"All right, why not?" I replied.

I added something else.

"Surely what you need is some rest..."

I approached; she acted submissively, somewhat strange... it made me feel a certain degree of discomfort, not for a bad reason... but still, it was discomfort after all.

"Ahh..."

I took her under the legs and I could feel her leggings in my hand, in my right hand her head was deposited, grabbing her by the neck, I took her smoothly.

I lifted her, and I took her in my arms.

We walked slowly to her room; she shrank her body.

But her face remained relatively close to mine; I could hear her breathing, and feel her warm breath.

She could also smell his body odor, which emanated from his body, lotions, and his scent.

It was... somewhat confusing.

I think that... it might stir up certain feelings in me...

We arrived right in front of her room, and I stayed thinking about how I would open it, since she was in my arms, with them crossed.

"I... I'll do it..." she said.

"Hm..." I responded, approaching the door.

She extended her left hand and opened the door.

"We look like a couple..." she said.

"Hehe," I chuckled after saying that.

"Uhm"... I didn't know what to say.

Really, it's not something that non-close people would do, nor were we that distant.

I approached her bed and laid her down there.

She remained still, with her eyes closed.

I gently covered her with her sheet.

"Are you asleep already?" I asked.

She was silently with her eyes closed.

I leaned closer to her face to see it more closely.

Her face truly was like some kind of magnet; my eyes couldn't help but stare at her no matter how hard I tried.

Her eyes, small, and her refined nose, her full lips, cherry-colored...

If it weren't for the fact that I have some "experience," I could have fallen into the deep abyss that must be loving this girl.

After all... I know she harbors a tremendous darkness.

Especially... because of the pills that were scattered on the floor.

After all, no matter how hard I try, I can't forget that sensation... every time I remember the things that were there, I remember her naked body exposed.

Although... miraculously, I didn't see anything explicit, so probably my conscience would be clear, and above all, she could still get married properly.

"So if you fell asleep..." I said quietly.

I got off the bed and turned around.

"I'm leaving, I'll be back later," I said.

I started walking, and she grabbed my hand tightly, as if her life depended on it.

It was strong, the way she held on; I didn't think she could exert so much force.

"What's wrong, do you want something?" I asked.

"You're leaving?" she asked me.

"I can't?" I asked ironically.

I looked back at where she was lying, her face covered with the sheet, only her arm sticking out, holding onto my right hand, preventing me from leaving.

Her face was covered.

I retraced my steps, and sat back on the bed.

"Wow, you look like a little girl," I said.

I extended my hand and removed the sheet from her head, revealing her face.

She was completely red, with small tears coming out of her eyes, she wasn't crying, she seemed overwhelmed by some kind of feeling.

"Hey... are you feeling worse?" I asked.

She continued breathing somewhat heavily.

I ran my hand over her face, feeling her strong breath exhaling hot air, I placed the palm of my hand on her forehead.

It was a little, but just a little warm.

"It doesn't seem like you have a fever," I said.

"I'm not sick..." she said.

"Huh?"

She grabbed my hands with hers, and pulled my body towards hers.

She brought my face closer to hers, and my chest was pressed against hers, I could feel in its entirety everything she had.

"Wait..." I said.

"Don't you want to?" she asked.

"Wait... what do you mean?!" I asked.

What did she mean? What didn't she want?

Isn't that unexpected? Too... soon?..

Shit, this is bad.

"Do you not want me?" she said.

"What do you mean by not wanting you?" I said.

I activated my handsome guy ability, the poker face.

But inside, if my feelings were workers dealing with things inside my body, surely the office would be on fire and people running around trying to soften the impact of what was happening outside.

"This..."

"Am I not enough? I'll give you everything I can, you just have to do the same..." she said with a somewhat lost look.

Her eyes spiraled, trembling.

Her tone of voice, trembling, inhibited.

Being close to her face, I could feel her exhaled air, hot.

"I..."

I didn't know what to say.

She pulled on the collar of my shirt, and brought our faces together completely.

I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the situation, and finally, after a tiny lapse of time without feeling anything, I could feel a soft sensation on my lips.

Our lips touched.

I opened my eyes, and I could see her closed eyes.

I tried to pull away from her, but I was firmly held by my right arm behind my head.

Her tongue entered my mouth, and began to explore and mark as hers every corner of my mouth.

I felt her saliva, and lascivious sounds were heard.

Certainly, this isn't my first kiss of this kind.

But for some reason, it feels dirty, unlike the others I've had.

Shit...

Definitely, this is dirty.

How many seconds have passed?

20? I don't think so, I think it's been more than a minute.

Shit, shit...

Finally, she released my head, and I could separate myself.

A thread of saliva formed a bridge between our mouths.

She looked at me with her shiny eyes and her face, showing a somewhat... dirty expression.

She touched her lips with her right hand, for my part, I wiped my mouth with the right sleeve of my shirt, not exactly because I disliked it, just because somehow, deep down, I felt certainly somewhat bad about what had just happened.

I thought I probably shouldn't assume that she felt anything for me, that interpreting certain attitudes and situations as if she liked me was conceited of me, and it was not at all kind to assume such things about her, but...

This... it's already too late.

Shit... it can't be... I thought.

"So, Ryu?" she said.

"Wait... I don't..."

She got up, and I stayed there, sitting on the bed, astonished and overwhelmed by what had just happened.

I couldn't shake off the sensation of Yui's lips and her tongue.

Nor the clear feeling of her breasts against mine, it was so vivid, so tangible, that it truly overwhelmed me.

She stood staring at me, and I glanced at her sideways from the bed, like a scene of a wolf looking at a small hare.

The detail here is, I'm the hare.

"I... you... we're running away from something, right?" she said.

I stayed listening to her, with a lost gaze.

The hair tie came off, and my hair went wild, it was long, so it covered part of my field of vision, but still, I could see her behind the locks.

As she spoke, she began to undress.

First, the shirt, revealing despite her large breasts, a quite slim and defined abdomen...

Then, unintentionally or intentionally, I lifted my gaze, running my eyes over her belly, reaching a red bra she was wearing.

It wasn't like Chie's, she certainly is more attractive than Chie.

But still...

"Only I can understand you, Ryu..." she said.

"What do you mean...?" I asked.

"I... made mistakes... did things I shouldn't have done," she said.

I feel like there was something in those words.

Then, she took off her skirt, revealing beyond those black mesh stockings, black lace lingerie, with garters.

Damn...

My body doesn't move.

It would seem like I'm really waiting for something.

When I tried to stand up, when finally my body reacted as I was trying to make it, she put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me down.

"Many... have... seen me," she blurted out.

Seen? Something... about that phrase, it made me extremely uncomfortable.

I could hear her breathing becoming more erratic and forced.

"But I want... you to be my first time," she said.

First time?

Now I feel somewhat confused.

"Wait, wait, wait," I said.

"Yui, Yui-chan?, Yui-sama?"

Confusion.

I blinked several times looking at her body, on top of mine, as if that would help me remember such a masterpiece in front of me.

She lunged at me, resting most of her body on me, and making it harder for me to do anything.

My mind was starting to become more erratic.

Certainly, I was quite resilient in situations like this, the fact that my "friend" hasn't risen yet is proof of that.

But definitely, if this kept going, something bad could happen.

I could simply push her away, but... what if I hurt her?

If she did this... since when did she feel something like this?

After all, things like these, you don't just do them and that's it, she must have planned this, she had to gather courage, she had to think about it... it wouldn't be pleasant for her to just slap her away...

I think... I could...

Just when I thought that, I opened my eyes again.

To the side of Yui, with the corner of my eye.

A guy whose face I couldn't see, but I could feel his gaze, staring at me.

For a brief moment, but enough to remind me of that.

But still, that was quickly replaced by the sight of Yui's breasts.

She hugged me, wrapping her arms around me, rising a bit more, placing her breasts on my face.

"Ryu... am I not good enough?" she asked.

"No... it's not that..." I told her.

I felt a bit dizzy with her breasts on my face, not because I was being suffocated, simply, although I had touched them before, it was something completely different, because if she were sick, it would be rude of me to think things while I bathed her or looked at her, since she was like a kind of little fluffy helpless thing, but now that she's in her right mind... staring at her, feeling her desolation, it made me... certainly feel a certain degree of... excitement?

"Yes, exactly that.

I swallowed nervously.

Thinking that, only deepened the feeling and made it sting more.

"I... can't take it anymore..." I said.

A dragon rose from its domain, and from the deep mountains it soared above the rest of creation.

Yes, my friend had risen.

"I couldn't help it, I'm sorry Yui."

I felt as I collided with something solid, Yui's thigh.

At that moment, I witnessed live and in person the transformation from a partially flushed face to something completely red like a tomato.

I could see Yui's body trembling, and rising in an unnatural way.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I said while covering my face.

My heart pounded, my ears felt like they were about to burst, I could feel the—

"Ugh!" Yui grunted.

"Wait... this is..." she said.

I watched as her face slowly faded and her eyes closed gently, as if she were being enchanted by a spell.

"Hey, hey," I said to her.

I moved her away from me and stood up, sitting on the bed, while she lay there, I tried to shake her.

"Yui?" I asked, gently moving her body.

She had fainted.

It's strange, although she was the one who took the initiative, she collapsed herself...

Perhaps, she had overexerted herself with this.

I felt relieved, after all, and also that I didn't do anything, because watching that made me realize that she had tried very hard to do something like this.

Unfortunately, I hadn't realized she had those feelings.

I looked at her face, gently wiping it, I could see tears falling from her eyes.

"Ryu... liar..." she whispered.

It seemed as if she were having a dream.

But... why was she calling me a liar?

But even more importantly, once again someone was crying in front of me.

Once again I completely disregarded what someone might think of me, ignored what was happening, was kind without thinking, underestimated people's capacity to love someone.

What... a problem....

After all, I am a bad person. I thought.

I frowned, trying to ignore the things that always brought about these kinds of situations, dark thoughts entering treacherous territory, which I never wanted to step into again and try to get out of that feeling.

I covered her with the sheet, after all... she was half-naked.

"I'm sorry, Yui," I said.

After covering her, I walked slowly through the room, towards the living room.

As I headed towards the door to leave, I looked at the door of the room that I had not yet looked at, curiosity invaded my mind, almost as if it were automatic, my body slowly walked towards the door.

"Wait, wait."

Better leave things like this... I thought.

I walked to the door, and hurried out to my apartment.

Now, a Brief Ellipsis, to continue in third person.

Third person.

A Ryu, completely asleep, while his phone rang, again and again, message notifications arrived on his phone.

MESSAGES.

1:45 am: Ryu... are you there?

1:45: Missed call from Yui.

1:46: Missed call from Yui.

1:47: I'm sorry... I'm sorry... it wasn't my intention to upset you like this...

1:50: Ryu.... I can see your light on, I know you're there.... please answer....

1:51: Ryu... please... I'm sorry....

2am.

17 missed calls from Yui.

2:45am: I think... I messed up, right?

3am: you're sleeping... right?... it has to be... I'll try to do the same.

4am: Sleep... Ryu.

End, Third person.

For the first time in some time, I was able to sleep pleasantly early, for the first time also in a while, I was awakened by the sound of birds singing in the morning, something really pleasant.

I stretched my arm, reaching for my phone, in the middle of the night I was half-awakened for a few seconds, but sleep overcame me and I just kept sleeping.

I found it, after searching with closed eyes, after a while, and I arrived just as the screen lit up.

As soon as I picked up the phone, a message from Lily came.

"Don't forget!" accompanied by an emote of a cat making an "okay!" gesture.

I noticed I had other messages, realizing that Yui's chat had... 57 missed messages, between messages and calls.

Shit.

What happened yesterday came to mind.

I looked a little horrified at the amount of things she had written.

One by one, I read them.

I could feel the desperation for a response from me in the air, she was clearly trying to talk to me... she was distraught, thinking she had done something horrible, while I slept carefree all night.

Really... it seems like I only make the people around me feel bad.

I started typing.

"Hey, it's not like that... I'm sorry... I was sleeping..." I wrote to her.

She hadn't been online for a couple of hours, maybe she was sleeping.

After all, the messages... were spread out over different hours of the night, so I threw my phone onto my mattress, just as I got up, the notification tone sounded immediately.

"Oh, I see, I'm sorry... I thought... maybe you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore.... ever." she replied.

Under her message, there was an emote of a crying cat.

"I'm sorry, I could have answered you... but I didn't, my mistake," I said.

After all that happened, I spent the rest of the afternoon buying things for my date today.

I bought several things, some toys, snacks, notebooks, grooming items, school supplies.

I had them in a big box, to give to her.

"But... after what I did.... I thought that..."

"Don't worry, I understand you were feeling bad... and you didn't know what you were doing," I said, shamelessly lying to myself, and clearly lying to Yui just as much.

But... I really wanted to change the subject.

I didn't want to ruin my friendship with Yui, nor did I really want anything serious with her... selfish, don't you think?.

But there is a good reason behind it.

At least, I want Yui to be the second to find a partner, then I could rest in peace... with at least that act.

Besides... A person like me didn't deserve to be happy...

"That... I'm sorry, I got confused yesterday..." - "but it's not like what I said... was a lie..." she said -

Wait...

"What do you mean?" I asked.

I didn't exactly understand what she was trying to say.

"Oh, nothing, nothing!"

Nervously and awkwardly, she spoke.

She let out a forced and uncomfortable laugh, while the phone alerted that the battery was low.

"Uh, I think this thing's gonna die," I said.

"Wait, are you coming today?" she asked.

"I'm sorry... I have to go out today," I said.

"But don't worry, I'll—"

As I said that, the phone finally died.

Maybe... I'll have to go to Yui's house for a while, but I'll do it after I've gone out with Lily.

We agreed to meet on Sunday, I would normally go to her house and then we would go out to do something.

Probably... I'll sleep a little more.