Chapter Five; Walk, Girls and.... misunderstandings?

Arranging the clothes Yui had given me, folding them to return them when she came back, planning to stop by her house after.

After a while, arriving at the house that held the most memories for me, with a large box and some bags, I found myself arriving at Haru's house.

Of course, I knew he wouldn't be there...

When I arrived, I saw a girl outside her house.

As she turned to look for a few seconds, I could glimpse a dark and shadowy face, her eyes forming a kind of spirals.

"Lily!" I called out.

Her face changed quickly upon hearing my voice, turning to look with the cheerful expression that had characterized her until now.

She was a girl about twelve years old, short, with brown hair and bangs, adorned with a cute white hair clip, wearing her school uniform.

"Ryu-onichan!" she greeted back, happily running and jumping towards where I was.

"What's wrong... are you okay?" I asked, a little puzzled by the gloomy expression she had.

It was a bit... selfish of me to ask such a thing, given my position.

But... I did.

"What do you mean? Despite everything, I'm fine," she said.

She was truly... a strong girl.

"Can you help me?" I asked, poking my head out from the side of the box.

"You always bring so many things..." she said.

"It's nothing," I declared.

She gently took the bags from my arms, freeing them up, allowing me to carry the larger box more freely.

We walked together to her house, which was only a few steps away.

Just as we were on our way home, her sister passed by us, looking at us.

She waved, pausing for a moment.

And passed by us without saying anything.

We entered and walked through the entrance hallway.

"I'm sorry... nae-chan... she still doesn't speak," Lily apologized.

She... still didn't speak.

"No... I'm the one who's sorry," I said.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"It's... nothing."

As we arranged the things I brought in her modest home, she and I continued talking.

"You... you look a bit thin. Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yes, it's just the heat lately," I commented.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, why?"

"I get the feeling you haven't been sleeping well lately," she said.

Surely she knew well what a person who worked hard looked like, so I thought of trying to change the subject.

"Shall we go now?" I said.

"But are you okay, Ryu-oni?" she said.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said.

Being in this house gave me a certain air of nostalgia, sadness, a sensation of dizziness and nausea invading my body as I tried to pretend nothing was happening.

"Would you like something to drink before we go?" she said.

"Alright," I said, trying not to be rude in rejecting her invitation, besides, Lily-chan made quite good coffee.

Although... it's the same tea that... wait, wait... let's not think about that.

Humming a tune, she entered the kitchen.

They were quite fond of coffee, which was odd, surely because Haru also loved coffee...

I can't stay much longer in this house, the dizziness is creeping into my head and discomfort is taking over me.

Finally, after about five minutes, she brought a cup of coffee, placed it on the small table in front of me, took a seat in front of me as well, and brought the cup of coffee to her mouth, quite elegantly starting to drink.

I, on the other hand, trembling a bit, brought the cup to my mouth.

From trembling so much, a few drops of hot coffee fell onto my black Adidas hoodie, and I spilled all the coffee, pouring it onto my hoodie.

"Shit!" I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's too hot," she said, getting up a little desperate not knowing much what to do in such... lamentable situation on my part.

"Just wait here, I'll bring you a towel!" she said.

I, separated from my skin, took off my shorts, and started walking.

"Walk over here," she said, showing me a room.

"I'm coming," I said.

I think... she did it unintentionally.

I want to believe that.

I walked towards her, she handed me the towel.

Then, I closed the door and started rubbing my coffee-stained crotch.

Hot.

Too hot.

Damn, I couldn't even taste Lily's coffee.

As I rubbed my crotch, my mind slowly realized where I was.

I was in Haru's room.

Completely empty.

As... if it had never existed.

Ah, damn it, just when I was starting to feel a little better about myself, thinking if I did this I could redeem myself...

But it wasn't like that.

The vivid image of Haru was in front of me, for a second.

I turned to look, but there was no one.

Fleeting, my mind played a cruel and ruthless game on me.

"Ryu-nichan, are you okay?" Lily's voice asked from the other side of the door.

"I'm coming," I said.

For now, I think I'll leave it for later.

It's... getting harder and harder to handle.

I opened the door, I was already a little dry, but still, the coffee was sticky, so I'd probably have to go home.

"I think... I'll have to go by home," I said.

"I'll wait for you at the station," she said.

.

Half an hour later.

I returned home, changed clothes and again, around 2pm I was on a train to go to the station where Lily was.

A year ago.

"Ring, ring."

A phone ringing brought me back to reality.

I was sitting in my room, looking out the window, looking towards Chie's house.

The day before, we had argued, neither of us had apologized, and we hadn't made up yet.

Me, because I was embarrassed, surely she knew how I was too.

I picked up the phone and answered it.

"Ryu, are you coming?" Haru asked from the other side of the phone.

"Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming."

I hadn't even realized it was 2:46 PM, just a bit before meeting up with Haru and his sisters.

We had made it a habit to go out at least twice a month, just him and me, along with his sisters.

They were two lovely girls, one 9 and the other 11, Nae and Lily.

"Hey, Haru!" I shouted, greeting him.

There he was.

I caught sight of his gray hair in the distance.

He was wearing casual attire, a green shirt and brown shorts, his sisters were similarly dressed, casual clothing for both.

We were at the train station, about 15 minutes from the arcade we frequented.

The train arrived, and we got on, the four of us sitting on one side.

His sisters swung their legs as they ate what I had brought them, a couple of crepes I had bought just before arriving and some sodas.

"Hey, shouldn't we save some for later?" Haru scolded them.

"Oh, come on, don't worry about that," I said.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, big brother," his younger sister Lily said.

His sister Nae simply enjoyed her crepe without saying anything.

She was a bit more reserved than Lily.

She glanced at me, and our eyes met for a moment.

I gave her an awkward smile and she returned it.

She didn't make any move, just kept looking at me, and as if nothing had happened, she turned her attention back to the crepe she was eating, although she didn't show it, it was clear she was enjoying it.

Also, her legs swung on the bench.

"Hey, Ryu... have you sorted things out with Chie?" he asked.

"Mhm... no," I replied.

"Did you fight with your girlfriend, Ryu-onichan?" Lily asked.

"My girlfriend?!" I asked, a bit nervously.

"Not your girlfriend?" she said.

"Is that what it looks like?" I asked.

Yeah, they had seen her a few weeks ago, when I managed to convince Haru to go out with Chie and Inue, although the latter couldn't, she had things to do at the gymnastics club she was in, Chie had left the club and became the basketball club manager.

Things had improved a lot at the club, thanks to her.

Surely it was some kind of retaliation that we didn't go out as often, because of Haru's work and all.

Although kind of silly, right? I mean, the fact that we didn't go out could be solved by going out with us, right?

I don't know, I don't understand it, maybe I never will.

"Yeah, that's how it looks," Lily said.

I smiled like a fool.

My relationship with Chie had made some significant progress in the last few months, we had started going out alone together, although not as often as I would like, but frequent enough to call it normal.

Really, the fact that we didn't go out every day was because of work.

Although technically, the part-time job wasn't really necessary for me, I wanted to spend time with Haru, he was my best friend, I felt the duty to help him however I could, and I think working with him makes his burden a little easier, doesn't it?

I had gotten to know him a lot better over the past year, I knew perfectly well he was a great guy.

The feeling of someone seeming so cool to you that you want to be closer friends with them, have you ever felt that?

I, for the first time in my life, wanted to be real friends with someone, and boy, am I making an effort.

"Thanks, Lily-chan," I gave her a pat on the head.

She put on a happy face.

Her sister looked at me without saying anything.

"Do you want a pat too?" I said to Nae.

She didn't say anything, but she did something that left me speechless.

She grabbed her brother's hand and put it on her head.

"How cute!" I said.

She looked at me with a disappointed look, as if it wasn't the reaction she expected.

"See? My sisters are so pretty!" he said.

"Mhm, you're so lucky!" I replied.

His sisters glanced at us a bit embarrassed.

"Don't you see they're looking at us?!" Nae exclaimed.

I realized we had made a bit of noise, although the train station was quite empty, not entirely, so there were about two or four people watching us.

Despite the look of discomfort or pleasure, they watched us graciously witnessing the scene...

But that didn't diminish the feeling of guilt that overcame me.

I stayed silent until Haru spoke up.

"You really are clueless. How much longer are you going to keep this up?" Haru asked.

The argument we had with Chie was about a specific issue.

She got angry because "I didn't take anything seriously."

It was a bit strange.

Three days ago, she asked me to take basketball seriously, or if basketball wasn't what I wanted to take seriously, to find something else.

For my part, I just told her I wanted to enjoy myself, not really take something seriously.

It had been like that since I was little.

Sports club, literature club, theater club.

I had been in all kinds of clubs.

And always, for some reason, the people around me paid attention to what I did, not because I wanted to boast, but I was good at everything I tried.

"I don't know, I think a few more days," he said.

"She told me she wouldn't back down this time," he said.

"Hmm... really?" I asked.

"Yeah, so apologize," he said.

"I don't know, I think this time I'm right," I said.

"Are you really going to stick to that plan?" he said.

"Hmm... I don't know," I said.

"What are you talking about?" Nae asked.

"Adult stuff," I replied, jokingly.

"So you can say that kind of thing," she said.

"Hey, that sounded rude," I said.

Haru laughed a little.

Nae and Lily looked at Haru with a bit of amazement.

Those looks seemed to say something, just before they burst into laughter too.

Although I noticed Nae and Lily's looks were a bit strange, I overlooked it a bit, not because I didn't care, but I didn't want to ruin the mood.

I laughed along with them.

Before we knew it, we were engrossed in both superficial and somewhat important conversations, about Nae and Lily's school, or about our situation on the basketball team.

In six months, it would be the intercollegiate tournament.

Although every time we talked about it, I could see the worry in Haru's eyes,

I couldn't blame him, after all...

There's a rumor in the club, ambiguously confirmed by a teacher.

A talent scout from the United States is coming to watch us play.

It was odd...

Surely they want to find some Japanese star to attract the Asian audience.

"Well, let's get off," Haru said.

A voice announced our arrival at our destination.

"Mhm," his sisters nodded.

I just followed them in silence.

Present time.

I got up, when I peeled my cheek off the train seat, I noticed that, from my mouth, there was a thread of saliva.

"Damn..." I said as I wiped my mouth with my shirt sleeve, clearing the drool.

"I look like an idiot," I thought.

The train's voice announced that we had reached our destination.

I searched my pockets for a phone that was only at 30% of its charge, and its screen lit up.

I checked, no missed calls or messages, checked the time, and then put it back in my pocket.

At least... I got up on time.

I was alone in a seat, there were few people around me.

I got up, walking through the train aisles, completely lonely and silent.

I got off, and looking at the crowded mass of people around me, a certain degree of discomfort began to invade my body.

It reminded me of the first day I tried to go to school, in my third year of high school after what happened that week.

Once again, I felt like everything was spinning around me.

Voices, glances, background conversations, giggles among friends.

Everything seemed directed towards me, as if everything was there to try to make me uncomfortable and make me feel bad.

"Did you see that?" said a female voice.

I turned to look, a girl talking to another.

"That son of a bitch..."

A man with a briefcase talking on the phone.

My gaze desperately searched for the person who told me to wait.

Until I finally found her.

I noticed her brown mushroom hair and her school uniform.

I approached without saying anything.

I looked at her, her face slightly darkened, sad, somewhat melancholic.

"Hey, Lily," I said.

She raised her face, and the trace I had noticed a few seconds ago disappeared completely.

"Have you arrived?" she said.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She looked down for a moment, and swung her foot, dragging the sole of her shoe.

"I think... I don't want to go."

"You don't want to go?" I asked.

"To the arcade," she said.

Oh, right...

I think it's a bit cruel of me to keep visiting that place with Lily.

I hadn't even thought about it.

"So?" I asked.

"Mhm... let's see..."

She looked at me, then down and up, looking at me completely, as if she were looking for something more behind that gaze.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I got it!" she said, snapping her fingers.

As if... she had left that darkened face behind, she spoke cheerfully.

"Why don't we have a date?" she said.

"A date?" I asked.

"What's wrong, nervous?" she asked, hooking my arm as if she were some girlfriend affectionately cuddled with her lover.

"No, not at all," I said.

Making a sword-hand gesture.

She pouted.

It was completely obvious, besides the fact that to my eyes she was just a simple girl, she was like my younger sister, besides being my best friend's younger sister.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said, "so, are we going on a date?" she asked as she squeezed her body against my right arm.

Fortunately, there's nothing that could make the situation uncomfortable.

I looked at her chest, flat as a board.

Hmm, that's how it should be.

"What are you looking at?" she asked, with a somewhat angry tone.

"Nothing," I said with an ironic tone.

Literally, nothing.

"Idiot," she said.

Somehow, this reminded me of the conversations we used to have on the way home with the guys.

Those were the days...

My thoughts were interrupted by a notification tone from my pocket.

"Who is it? Your girlfriend?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, yeah, my girlfriend," I said.

She stared at me.

"Ryu... I want to talk about something with you."

"Now?" I asked.

"I don't want to ruin the atmosphere now, so probably later," she said.

"Okay..." I commented.

I probably knew what she would ask me.

For my part, I took my cell phone out of my pocket.

When I turned it on, I could see on the startup

"What?" I asked.

"What's going on?" Lily interrupted Yui's sentence halfway.

Yui shrunk back a little, as if unsure what to do in Lily's presence.

"Oh, what's up, Lily? Sorry, I got distracted," I said.

"Who are you with?" she asked.

Yui stepped forward and introduced herself.

"Pleasure to meet you, my name is Yui Aiko," she said.

"Ehhh? Ryu's girlfriend?" she exclaimed. "Sorry, we haven't met. Nice to meet you, my name is Atahara Lily," she finished introducing herself.

"First, I'm glad you two are starting to become friends, and second, she's not my girlfriend, she's a coworker," I said.

"Ewww, she's not your girlfriend? But she's so pretty!" Lily exclaimed.

Yui clapped her hands and clasped them together, her face beaming with joy, her eyes shining bright, and a smile on her face.

"Wow, Ryu never told me he had such a good friend!" she said.

She started laughing, "Hehehehe," as she approached Lily.

I think... they'll get along well.

"Alright, shall we?" I asked.

"Where are we going?" they both asked simultaneously.

Yui was hugging Lily.

They looked at each other like a cat and its mother.

"We're going to an amusement park," I said.

"Yayy!" Lily cheered excitedly.

Meanwhile, Yui simply followed silently by my side.

Lily, on the other hand, took hold of my neck and took a few steps forward, asking me, "Hey, what happened with Chie? Haven't you sorted things out with her yet?"

"Have you talked to her?" I asked, surprised by her question, especially since as far as I knew, nobody besides me or her, maybe my dad, knew about my 'argument' with Chie.

Anyway...

That wasn't even an argument, it was more like... a monologue of apology on my part.

A fleeting image came to mind.

Standing in front of Chie's door, pouring rain, while I spoke with my head down and completely soaked.

Yui's pained expression flashed in my mind, tears streaming down her face.

"Yeah, she said she was looking for you," she said.

"You didn't tell her anything... right?" I replied.

"No... after what happened with Haru... we all need a bit more time, don't we?" she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Maybe becau-"

A voice interrupted our conversation.

Yui's darkened face stared at us.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

For a moment, Yui seemed to grow taller while Nae seemed to shrink.

"Nothing, sorry," she said.

"So, where are we going?" Yui asked.

There was a slight excitement in her voice, almost like a child who had just received candy.

She smiled after saying that, with her hands behind her back.

"Uhm, we were thinking of going to an amusement park... but now that we have a third opinion, what do you say?" Lily asked.

Meanwhile, I stood with my hands in my jacket, waiting for their decision.

"I guess that sounds good too, as long as Ryu is there," she said.

I looked up from my feet to Yui upon hearing that.

Her gaze...

She was looking at me, her eyes reflecting only my silhouette.

She waited for a response.

Lily, on the other hand, just looked somewhat disinterested in the scene.

It was a bit intense, to be honest.

"Well, I suppose that's fine," I said.

"We'll have to catch the next station," Lily said.

"Are you sure?" Yui asked.

"Mhm," she replied.

"Mhm, let's go then," I said.

We continued like this until we boarded the train to a park; there wasn't one nearby, so we had to go a bit further.

I sat on the bench across from where they were sitting, talking between themselves, unable to hear what they were saying.

My mind was a bit confused; I still felt very sleepy and tired.

My eyes, small like those of a panda, grew tired little by little.

I yawned, and as if it were my last breath, I could hear Lily's cheerful voice saying, "Oh, look, it's Osawa-chan."

I fell completely asleep.

A year ago.

Sitting in one of the train seats, half asleep, half awake, I could hear the humming of a song.

"Durururu..."

A male voice, noble and soft in character, almost reaching passivity.

I opened my eyes a little wider.

He was in the seat in front; his sisters, Nae and Lily, were tired from the journey, leaning on his lap, sleeping, awaiting our destination.

The humming gave way to a song that he began to sing, with the soft and noble voice of a mother.

"The shadows... dance to the rhythm of the whisper..."

He extended his hand towards Nae, gently caressing her head with his right hand, extending his left hand, he began to do the same to Lily, with gentleness and softness.

"The mysteries of destiny, lovingly wrapped in a murmur..."

He, like his sisters and me, also expressed his tiredness, looking melancholically downwards, his eyes half-closed.

"In the world of dreams, we will meet again, and your daily life we will talk about..."

His singing paused for a moment.

He sighed deeply.

I simply remained observing him.

"With my arms I'll embrace you... and to your ear I'll murmur..."

Those were the last words of that dark and eerie lullaby.

He turned to look at me, seeing my open eyes.

"Well, have you finished singing that ugly lullaby?" he said.

He smiled, a little.

His face evoked a tired, melancholic laugh, distant in memory.

"My mother used to sing it when we all slept in the same bed," he told me.

"Oh, I'm sorry... that wasn't my intention," I said.

"Don't worry... now I also think it's a bit ugly," he said.

He put his hand on the back of his head and smiled wearily.

I didn't know what to say.

After all... his mother had passed away a few months ago, at the beginning of the school year.

"Are... you sure?" I asked.

"Mhm."

"Let's not make too much noise, we'll wake the girls," he said.

To me, it seemed like he simply didn't want to talk.

He never talked about his problems; I didn't want to push if asking hurt, so I didn't insist, if he didn't want to talk, it was his personal decision.

I wished... he would be more open with me, I thought.

Back to the present, back on the train with Ryu, Lily, and Yui.

Half awake... I could hear a similar melody.

"The wind... silent... brings us stories from the south..."

A melodious tune, fittingly redundant, slowly entered my ears.

I opened my eyes, feeling a gentle comfort in my neck.

Yui's face, with her hair falling on the edges of her face, some strands landing on my face, looking at me with a tender, innocent smile.

"Did you wake up?" she asked, "just in time."

"What... beautiful..." I said softly.

She leaned her face a bit closer, "What did you say?" she asked.

"Nothing..." I said, a bit more awake now.

"How indecent!" someone in front of us said.

I looked at her.

A girl.

With long black hair.

"So tall!" I said aloud, fully awake now.

"How rude!" Lily scolded.

"Sorry, I was half asleep," I said.

I could feel Yui's legs behind my head as she swung her feet while sitting on the bench.

"For now..." Lily spoke up, "could you get off Yui's legs?!" she asked.

"Sure, you're right," I said calmly, gently lifting myself off Yui's legs.

"They're just so soft," I said.

"I'm glad you like them," Yui said.

"Don't encourage him for things like that!" scolded Lily.

"It's just that... Ryu looks so cute while he sleeps, I couldn't help but watch him the whole trip while he was asleep," Yui said.

That phrase sent a slight shiver down my spine.

Yui... is a bit dangerous.

"Well, when did I sleep?" I asked.

"About ten minutes," Yui answered, her right hand closed and touching her upper lip with her index finger, making a somewhat curious gesture.

"Well....then...who is she?" I asked, somewhat insensitively.

"Hey, that's rude," Lily scolded me like a mother scolding her child.

"But...I really don't know who she is..." I asked with a wrinkled face.

The girl, quite tall, to be honest, stood up and leaned in, introducing herself.

"Pleased to meet you, my name is Osawa Atahara."

That last name...

"Do you happen to know Chie?" - without thinking much, I asked that - scratching my face.

Yui looked at me with curiosity, while Lily looked wide-eyed.

"Yes... in fact, we're cousins, and I know you too, Ryu from the West School," she said.

"Don't call me that," I told her.

She clasped her hands together, "I'm sorry..." she said as she rubbed her hands together.

"No worries, it's nothing," I said.

I can't look at myself, but I'm sure my eyes are narrowed.

"My name is Ryu Sakuraba," I said, extending my hand.

As she was about to grab my hand, Yui interjected, "My name is Yui Onohara," she said, grabbing Osawa's hand.

"Um... nice to meet you," she said nervously.

"She's in the basketball club," Lily said.

"Hehe," she said as she scratched the back of her head.

It showed.

For the first time in my life, honestly, I'm not exaggerating, I could look a girl in the face without needing to lower my gaze.

She's... about 1.80 meters tall.

"It shows," I said.

"Yeah..." Lily said in a somewhat depressed and unemotional tone.

"Don't worry, Lily-chan, you'll grow soon," she said.

For some reason, that only deepened Lily's sadness even more.

After all, Lily could only reach up to that girl's waist.

"How old are you, Osawa-san?" I asked. "16," she answered.

We continued talking a bit.

Until they announced the arrival of the train at the next station.

"Are we getting off?" Lily asked.

"I guess," Yui said.

''U-uhm,'' said Lily.

Yui's face, for some reason, which deep down I knew why, seemed a bit... terrifying to me.

"What do you say, Osawa-san?" I asked.

She hid her face, looking down, her long black hair covering it.

I could only see her cheeks, completely flushed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

I guess it was a bit bold of me to hold her hand like that.

"It's... nothing, shall we go?" she said nervously.

"That's... fine."

So, what was supposed to be a quiet afternoon turned into something a bit... complicated.

About an hour later.

How... did we get into this situation?...

"Wait, he's going with me!"

"No, no, I'm his younger sister, right, Ryu-onichan?" Lily asked.

Osawa passively observed the situation.

Yui was pulling my right hand, Lily my left hand, each trying to pull me their way.

Yui wanted to ride the Ferris wheel with me, Lily, the roller coaster.

"I could accompany one..." Osawa said.

Both turned their gazes to Osawa, looking at her with eyes that only one woman could direct to another.

Tears welled up in her eyes, almost on the brink of crying.

But surprisingly, she didn't.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered softly.

"I'm sorry, Osawa-san."

Lily stopped for a moment from pulling my arm.

"We won't get anywhere, Yui," she said.

"You're right, Lily," Yui responded.

"Let's play rock-paper-scissors," Lily suggested.

"Sounds good," Yui affirmed.

"And my opinion?" I asked, somewhat incredulous.

"You be quiet, oni-chan," Lily said.

And her respect for me? I thought.

Although... she really seemed to be enjoying herself, I better let her continue.

A mischievous smile appeared on Lily's face.

"Hehe," she evilly chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?!" Yui asked.

"I've never lost at rock-paper-scissors," she said.

First round.

Yui Rock, Lily Scissors.

Yui won.

Second round.

Yui Paper, Lily Rock.

She was one round away from winning.

Then, Lily won the next three rounds.

"The secret is to let the enemy get confident!" she said vigorously.

Yui collapsed on her knees, and her damsel, pretending to cry, rubbed her eyes.

"You win, Lily," Yui said.

"Indeed, I'll take Ryu-onichan," Lily said.

Lily pulled me by the arm and directed me towards the roller coaster.

Really, there wasn't much to say.

We got on the Ferris wheel.

We sat facing each other.

She started staring at me.

"What's up?" I asked.

"What do you mean what's up?" she said.

"I mean, you're staring at me, do you want to tell me something?"

"I... wasn't..."

Is she really going to talk about that?

About ten minutes later.

Back down, nearing the end of the Ferris wheel ride, just when it seemed like Yui and Osawa were coming out of the haunted house, we got out of the Ferris wheel capsule.

"I'm sorry... Lily," I said quietly, while discreetly watching Yui and Osawa approaching.

Yui, with her eyes a bit red, wiping away the few tears she had shed seconds ago.

It's not that she wasn't crying properly.

It's just... she had cried enough these days... weeks... no... maybe months.

"Why are you apologizing, dummy?!" she said.

She was behind me.

Yui was getting closer, still a bit far away.

She put her arms around my back, and buried her face in it.

"Tell me... why do you insist on carrying that burden alone?"

"I guess... it's the only way I have to live with myself," I said.

"But... it's not..."

I was about to say that phrase.

Surely, if she says it...

I'll cry, I'll definitely cry.

Not out of sadness, or because it moves me.

I just don't want to hear it, I'd cry out of rage.

"Stop," I told her.

"Enjoy the evening, here come the others," I said to her, taking a step forward.

"When will you... go visit Haru?" she asked.

I bit my lip.

So hard that I drew a little blood.

"Do you think he'd greet me with a smile?" I asked.

"What do you mean? Why do you keep insisting on that?" she asked back.

"Because... I think he wouldn't," I replied, taking another step forward.

"Tell them... I'll be in the bathroom," she said.

She started running in the opposite direction from where we were.

Yui and Osawa finally arrived where I was.

"I'm sorry, Lily," I thought to myself.

"Hey, where did Lily go?" was the first thing Yui asked when she got to where I was.

"Mhmm... she went to the bathrooms," I said, trying to hide my trembling voice.

Truthfully, from the moment Lily spoke to me, I was about to cry.

"But... the bathrooms are on the other side," Osawa said.

"I guess someone will tell her and she'll come back?" I said, somewhat ironically and jokingly.

"I guess..." Yui said.

"But... Yui has been to this park before..." she said.

"Really?... that's odd..." she said, looking at me somewhat mischievously.

Mischievously, in the sense of maliciously.

"I guess that's normal, right? Sometimes we get confused," I said somewhat nervously.

"I suppose..." Osawa said.

"Well, it's my turn," Yui said.

"Eh?... are you going to ignore the atmosphere just like that?" Osawa asked.

"I don't think Ryu will say anything, will you?" she looked at me, again with that expression.

"Really, it's nothing," I said.

"Yeah, let's go?" she asked.

Even though she asked, she didn't even pay attention to what I was going to say, which was cut short by the fact that she simply pulled me towards her.

"Osawa-san, I'll leave Lily to you!" I shouted as I was pulled away by my left arm.

"A-alright," she said.

As I moved away from her, I could see her making a 'poor thing' face.

But really, I didn't feel bad at all, although I have to admit that I didn't feel as good as any moderately normal person would feel about going through a situation like this.

I mean, any guy in his right mind would do whatever it takes, within moral and ethical bounds, to be with a girl like Yui.

I hadn't mentioned it before, but all eyes were always on her.

You could hear people murmuring around things like "what a pretty girl" from both men and women alike.

Her way of dressing, her way of walking, her way of expressing herself, her way of speaking, her way of looking, her way of moving her hands... every single detail about Yui was almost hypnotic.

It seemed as if it was natural for her, almost as if she was born to be the center of attention and to be, inherently and inherently, beautiful.

For really obvious reasons, I simply couldn't enjoy the company that should be more than pleasant, glorious.

The reason? I'm not worthy of her, besides... I'm still in love with Chie.

We were also going to the Ferris wheel.

"Hey, weren't we going to the haunted house?" I said.

"Huh? Why would I want to visit something twice?" she asked.

"And are you going to make me visit the Ferris wheel a second time?" I asked.

"I haven't seen it yet, so that's what matters," she said.

Since we arrived, I could tell Yui was in a better mood, a smile that I hadn't seen for a few months was pleasantly drawn on her face.

She lowered her arm from my shoulder, sliding it gently down my forearm until she reached my hand.

We walked a few more meters, holding hands.

I could hear something, although vaguely, maybe I got confused.

"How lucky that girl is... such a handsome guy."

I don't think she's the lucky one, it should be me, if she really were.

"She didn't go up with another?"

"She's with two?"

The conversation of background characters continued.

"That's disgusting... even though he's so handsome, he shouldn't do that kind of thing."

Hey, background character, we can hear you clearly.

A cabin arrived, there were 4 more people needed for our turn.

"Now that you mention it..." the background character continued.

Yui and I were silent.

"I think I saw the other girl coming out crying towards the living room..." one said.

"Mhm, you're right... she looked very young," said another.

"That's disgusting..."

The other cabin arrived.

I got tired, I'll tell them.

"It's-" I was about to speak when Yui interrupted me.

"This... isn't what you think..." she said timidly, looking down.

I could feel her hand squeezing mine as I watched her face turn intense red.

Her white skin allowed her emotions to be seen intensely.

"And..."

She spoke too timidly to be Yui, really...

To think she was the same person from that night...

A clear image came to my mind.

Her breasts, huge and soft, almost like touching a cloud from the sky.

Her lips, soft and sweet, as if they were coated with honey, shiny and appetizing...

And clearly, her tongue... roaming every corner of her body.

"Wait..." I thought.

"What am I doing?... am I embarrassing her again?"

We were really nothing, but if this misunderstanding continued, it could spread... and if it reaches the wrong person... Yui and Lily's reputation will be affected.

Yui remained silent as her eyes rolled with shame.

"She's my girlfriend, and the other girl is my sister... she left crying because her stomach hurts..." I said.

My face, clearly reddened by the slight warmth I felt on my cheeks, and my eyes rolling and rolling.

"Oh..." said background character A.

"I see... sorry, brother," said background character B.

Both scratched their heads.

"Could they hear us?" one spoke.

"What a shame..." the other spoke.

Our turn arrived, and we moved forward.

Yui remained silent, her face downturned.

We entered the Ferris wheel cabin, and she still looked down.

I guess after all...

I guess... she didn't quite like it, after all...

We sat down, just the two of us, as I did with Lily, facing each other.

Just as the chain of thoughts was about to end, and the cabin reached about 3 meters in height, Yui lunged towards me.

She placed her face right in front of mine; I could hear her breath, feel her warmth, gaze at her lips up close.

They were pink, soft, and pleasing to the eye.

It was evident she took good care of her face; there were no creases that would suggest dry lips. They were glossy.

She placed her middle finger with her index finger, gave them a gentle kiss, and kissed my lips with them.

It didn't feel at all lascivious; in fact, I found her gesture somewhat cute.

She withdrew gently.

"Wait..." I said.

"What, Ryu-kun?" she spoke, touching her lips with her left hand and her jaw with her right hand.

Her face now looked a bit more like the Yui I more or less knew.

But... what was with all this acting so timidly around people?

In the store, at night, it was the same.

She clumsily made mistakes, nervously acted whenever she served a customer or when they rightfully complained about something. She always preferred warehouse work to working at the register.

I, for one, had never been bothered by it.

Her accent was also peculiar...

"It's nothing..." I replied.

Silence somewhat invaded the atmosphere; she was as if playing a piano on her knees.

"This... Yui-san?" I asked.

She looked at me strangely, probably because of the sudden formality.

"Hmm?" She looked at me.

"We've known each other for months, but I still don't even know if you're from around here," I said.

She looked down.

"I'm not from here..." she said.

"Hmm, I see. What region are you from?" I asked.

"Niigata..." she said.

Well, that's quite rural.

She began rubbing her hands, as if annoyed or uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry... did I bother you?" I asked.

"No... it's not that. In fact, I'm glad you want to know more about me... but... there are things I don't want to say right now... I'm sorry," she said.

I scratched the back of my head and smiled a bit awkwardly.

"Gosh, I'm stupid," I thought to myself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said.

The atmosphere became a bit quiet.

I think I unintentionally entered murky waters.

It was somewhat obvious, wasn't it?

"In a way... we're similar," she said, looking at her legs as she rubbed her hands.

"Hmm, what do you mean?" I asked.

"Both... running away from our past," she said.

Certainly, but she's a bit mistaken.

I'm not running away; I'm facing every consequence of the actions I took, the things I did, and the things I didn't do.

But such things are not said; they are done, and in silence.

"A bit, more or less," I said.

"What are you doing, more or less or a little?" she said.

"Neither of us knows enough about each other to claim such things, don't you think?" I said.

"But... I know those eyes..." she said.

"Hmm?" I murmured softly.

"The eyes of someone who made such a big mistake that they had no choice but to leave their comfort... you despise ordinariness, the normalcy of things, perhaps, the unfairness of things to you, how everything twisted, without you having the slightest idea it would twist so much... the same eyes I have," she said.

I looked incredulous.

"I didn't know you could tell so much about people from their looks..." I said, joking.

"Are my eyes that dead?" I said.

"Have you not seen yourself in a mirror?" she asked, somewhat teasingly.

It's the first time in my life someone tells me something like that.

"I look pretty normal," I said, looking at myself in the cabin's glass.

It was already dusk.

"Ryu," she said.

I turned to look at her, watching that scene, which momentarily captivated my heart.

A big sun penetrated my view, blinding me.

Like two stars, staring at me, a beautiful smile, soft and gentle.

"You can cry," she said.

Now... that I think about it.

I still haven't cried.

I've been about to, in fact, every day I wake up with the urge to do so; my eyes skim the tears.

But I still haven't... shed a single tear.

Hearing that phrase made something inside me break.

I looked down.

"What are you talking about?" i asked, looking at me, standing up and standing in front of me.

I remembered the conversation I had with Lily, right here in this same place.

"Your eyes... are always on the verge of tears... what burden are you dealing with, Ryu?" she asked.

A tear fell from my eyes, to my feet.

She grabbed my head and covered me, her huge breasts acted as a pillow on my head.

"Ryu, can't you trust me yet to tell me?" she asked.

It's not that I don't trust.

It's something I don't want to talk to anyone about, not even with myself.

"No..." I said to Yui.

She hugged me.

Tightly.

"I'll... be waiting for you to trust me, to be able to tell me things properly, okay?" she said.

"Thank you... but..."

"Don't say anything more..." she said, "if you say anything more... you'll surely make me cry," she said.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said.

"But... you can cry on my shoulder," she said.

"I don't need to understand why you cry, you don't need to tell me, but... if you keep carrying that weight that seems to burden you on your shoulders... I don't think you can... keep going like this... cry, okay?" she said kindly.

She started to stroke the back of my head.

A tear ran down my face, for the first time in a while.

Just as my eyes blurred with the curtain of saline water that was about to burst from them.

Just as my feelings were about to overflow in a wild and unrestrained manner.

My field of vision filled with something that made my heart want to split in two.

The Ferris wheel arrived just as it completed its second turn, about to embark on the third, next to the ground level, I saw a person in line to get on.

Dead eyes looked directly into mine, dead in the sense of having no feeling whatsoever, as if they had abandoned that just a few seconds ago.

A Chie, standing with a cute brown purse with one hand holding it in the middle.

In the short time I looked at her, I saw her drop the purse.

She was going with a known guy beside her.

Just as they looked at me, he grabbed her hand.

He gave me a mocking laugh.

The Ferris wheel started again, with the second and final round to descend.

"Chie... Chie... Chie!" I shouted.

Yui squeezed me tighter, and I couldn't do anything.

"You... have to calm down, whatever you saw, you won't do anything in this state..." Yui said.

She's right.

I have to wait for the Ferris wheel to reach the ground.

Chie, Chie, Chie...

It's all my mind could think of.

The tears didn't come.

My eyes remained dry.

Once the Ferris wheel reached the ground, there was no one.

Surely she had left, she didn't wait for me.

I completely misinterpreted the situation.

I searched desperately throughout the park, in vain, I found nothing after all.

Some time passed, and I reunited with Yui.

We sat on a bench.

"Lily-chan left," she said.

"I know," I said.

My tone of voice reflected what I felt inside.

"Osawa too," she said.

"I know..." I replied again.

She didn't say anything else, she just sat there looking at me on the bench.

I was sitting with my legs apart and my elbows resting on them.

"Yui..."

"Tell me?" I asked.

"Do you want to really know me?" I asked.

"I'd like to..." she said.

"Well... I'll tell you... how my hands are stained with the blood of an innocent person."