(Poem) I Wonder…

what it feels like to be loved. To
belong. To feel like there’s always something to look forward to
when the going gets
tough. I wonder what it feels like
to be embraced in the arms of someone who actually cares
about what you do, about
you.

I’ve always dreamed
of being somebody’s number one. I’ve always wanted
to be yearned for, understood. Like my entirety isn’t just another stranger
passing through the peripherals. I want someone who
waves to me. Who shouts, greets, tells me
that they need me. That I’m not some nuisance, some
annoyance. Tell me
that to you,
I’m someone special.

In your eyes, I’m
different.
I’m not the me that I present to others. I’m
someone only you can decipher. In your eyes, I’m
vulnerable, vibrant, happy, bittersweet. I’m
everything. To you,
I mean something. I’m not
just a bag of flesh, a bundle of emotions, a temporary
craving
just to satiate your thirst for the superficial.

So tell me that I
matter. Tell me
that you see me. That you can tell when I’m struggling, when
I’m working hard. Tell me
I can do anything I set my eyes on. I need
someone who can look me in the eyes and tell me
that they love me. That they care. They believe in me. I just want someone
to tell me not to worry. That everything
will work out. That it’ll all be
okay
just like
how I imagine us to be.