Leaving the bird cage: Part 1

“Defy the will of the gods who sent me back and find a way to end this new fate.”—The declaration written in a bold black ink glistened as sunlight reflected upon it.

A girl with sparkling golden brown eyes stared at the words with her brows furrowed. For the better half of the past hour, the girl had been trying to decipher the words written on the paper by her young lady. Though, due to her lack of education the only words she could somewhat understand were “defy the gods”.

The young maid had never understood noble leisure activities, but she had always believed her lady was different from others. And in a way, she was forced to be. After all, being the only daughter of a highly respected Marquess was no easy feat. Especially when the whole world looked on in anticipation of any mistake made by the young girl.

Which is why—in all her time tending to her lady— she had never expected to find her indulging in fantasies other kids her age did. Her heart fluttered at the thought. She had noticed the new behavior of her lady after the debut ball, and although she had expected some kind of change after what happened…she was overjoyed it hadn’t stolen the innocence from her young lady.

A girl she had been with since childhood—Inside a small part of her heart, where status and lineage didn’t matter, she saw the girl as an adorable younger sister. One that she wished to dote upon ever since their introduction.

She chuckled as the thought occurred to her. Then, she took the piece of paper with the unknown words and folded them neatly before tucking it into a small drawer. It was better for only her to have found these personal papers of her lady.

***

Sitting by the veranda, I sighed while sipping my tea. Just how many days have passed since I came back?

Thinking back, I deduced a couple of days had passed. Yet within that time, there was absolutely no opportunity for me to sneak out and find ways to progress on my plan. Yes— my plan to die.

Somehow, anytime I slipped away from Elora, or even the mansion maids, a guard would immediately be by my side. It was as though I was being watched every minute. Like a bird trapped in a cage.

I continued lamenting my lack of progress when a soft knock resounded throughout my room. I walked over to my door, softly placing my head near it.

“Who is it?” I asked quietly, my voice coming out squeakier than expected. I was still not used to my younger body.

Sighing, I wondered who stood on the other side of the door. They hadn’t announced their name either, a basic courtesy shown to those of higher ranks. Whoever it was, clearly intended to show no respect for me.

The reply came soon, “It is head maid Eliza, my lady.”

The head maid?!

“Why is the head maid here? Where is Elora?” I backed away from the door.

“My lady, I'm here too!” I heard Elora’s sweet honey-like voice a bit farther away. She must have been stopped from warning me about this sudden visit.

“What is the purpose of your visit, head maid?” I pulled open the doors to meet the squinting eyes of the head maid.

Her graying hair was swept tightly to her scalp and pulled into a low bun. Her eyes were hardened and tired from years of working at this place. She was the face of a woman who had devoted her life to her job. She was the head maid for a reason. And the biggest reason was her position as the right hand woman of my step mother, Mistress Silvia.

I stared up at her as her cold eyes bore down on me. Behind her, Elora was nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

The head maid and I had never gotten along in my previous life. She had always tried to make my life hell, under any circumstances.

It took me a while but I had remembered a visit similar to this happening in my past life. It was right after my debut ball, and the maid had come to taunt me over the failures of the ball. I remembered it clearer now, the way she was successful in riling me up. The scene I created was not pretty. And somehow it had led to Elora getting punished for not “controlling” me. But this time I wasn’t going to let things go her way.

“My lady, I apologize for the intrusion but your mother was quite disappointed in you for what happened at the ball.” She began.

Oh. So that’s how she got into my head. Using that word.

“Surely, you realize you must personally apologize to your mother? Not only as the lady of the house but as a daughter.” Her voice had become rather cocky. Was this the voice that had always gotten into my head and picked it apart to act in the exact way she wanted?

Though today I was in no mood to be manipulated.

“Eliza, I don’t believe I understand your words.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you trying to pin some blame onto me for what happened?”

Despite how much I wanted to forget about that day, it seemed like everything wanted me to remember it.

“Of course not, my lady.” She countered immediately. “I am merely acting out my duties of teaching you good manners, something that Elora is clearly forgetting to.”

She glared at Elora who looked down in fear. I curled my hands into fists. As expected of the head maid, it wasn’t easy to go against her.

“Elora has nothing to do with this.” I spoke simply. “Rather, I agree with you on your original point.”

Her right eye twitched and I smirked.

“I agree with you that mother and I have been distant recently.” I wiped a non-existent tear out of my eye using my index finger. “She must’ve been so mad. After what happened with that nephew of hers. But surely she could have visited me herself, right? Why must the children always be the ones to beg for forgiveness?”

“My lady.. I- I didn’t know you felt that way.” The head maid looked taken aback, yet behind that face I could see scorn lacing her eyes.

“Please, head maid.” I moved closer to her. “Allow me to meet with my mother as soon as possible!”

“M-my lady, I cannot-“

Before she could continue I cut her off and turned to look at the girl behind her, “Elora, you understand what I said, right?”

“Yes, my lady! I’ll be right back.” Elora left as soon as she heard my request.

“My, my, that child that you seem to hate so much is much quicker to respond than you, head maid.” I cocked my head to the side. “It seems you might be the one who needs to get lessons on how to be effective.”

I taunted her as the maids stationed outside began murmuring. I squinted my eyes at them, was there a spectacle being performed here? They seemed to notice and dispersed. I sighed, knowing that this news was definitely going to spread to the Marquess now.

Eliza tried to retort but I raised my hand shutting her down.

“Save it. I’m meeting with mother and speaking about this soon. You can leave now.”

Her face was a sight to see, filled with rage and anger. As she left, I turned away from the others. Standing up for myself felt better than nothing but I was never one for having confrontations. I hugged myself softly as I crouched down.

The entire situation was bad enough, but the worst part was the way the word mother left my lips so easily. Just how long had it been since I ever uttered that word? And for a woman such as my step mother—no, the mistress of my father.

Soon, I realized I had guessed correctly. This new life of mine wasn’t capable of giving me happiness. Rather, it was set out to make me relive the hardest moments of my past life, all over again.