A Candle's Light

The refined atmosphere of the restaurant is just as I’d heard it would be. Although I’d never stepped foot inside before this, gratefully the establishment had been more than accepting of a couple of knights coming in for an evening.

The dim lighting and plush reds nearly make me feel more like royalty than a simple swordsman. While the hotel’s most luxurious room had been a gorgeous place to explore, it’s astounding that it comes up short when compared to this restaurant. The fine plates and silverware feel expensive and worth its coin when I take them up in my hands. The way they’ve been so precisely laid out on the table is the very epitome of poise.

And yet none of that can even dream to stand against the real beauty before me.

Seated beyond the candle’s flickering flame is the rosy beauty who I’d been blessed to call my partner for all of my years as a knight. She flicks through the menu but uses it to hide her nervousness as she feels the pressure of the setting. But she feels it so needlessly. Her elegance is greater than all of it.

“Oh… It’s all so expensive.” She moans to herself quietly, hoping not to catch the ear of her fellow patrons.

“Don’t mind that at all. I’m covering over all of it, so order whatever you feel like. Plus, we always share our finances, don’t we? We have all this time.” I say with a laugh. “This much won’t even be a dent in the bank.”

“You’re right. I suppose I’m just feeling a bit…”

“No need to. You’re the most breathtaking thing here. No need to compete with a set of chairs and tables. They’re not much for personality either.”

She places her hand over her mouth as she begins to laugh at my dry humor. I can see her teeth through her fingers as a wide smile blooms on her face.

“Shut up!” She gives me a quiet yell through her giggling fit.

Our waiter comes to us and we place our orders. For Juna, she’d gone ahead with a nice salmon dish while I’d decided on something a bit more towards my pace for the day with a nice slab of meat. In the mid of our idle conversations, we’d had our plates delivered even more quickly than I’d expected.

In our usual fashion, I use an extra plate to share half of my order with her and she does the same in kind. As she dines, she begins to melt away into the flavors that grace her tongue. Her expression becomes almost dreamy when she’s lost in it all.

“So I take it that it’s good?”

“I’ve never had a fish like this.” She almost moans. “You need to try it. Give it a try!”

“Alright, I’ll check it out.”

Taking a bit onto my fork with a little dip of its topping, I give it a chance. And what a beautiful coaxing for the senses to rise it proves to be.

“Wow. You weren’t kidding. Sweet and yet savory. I didn’t know a fish could be served like this.”

Though we’d both usually be so forward with conversation over our meals, we’re taken away by the experiences and enter into a pleased lull. Simply soaking in the moment, the atmosphere, taking it all in together. But in the midst of that peaceful joy I take pause from sating my stomach to give my eyes a little treat as well.

I lean myself onto my palm and watch her every move. The warm light glowing on her skin, that rosy red hair and those deeper crimson eyes are brought to a luminescence by the candle’s glow. Watching her so joyful, so happy is galaxies beyond the worth of any ticket to pay.

Something I would fight to hell and back for; to see her safe and filled with life. All that I could ever want.

Keeping my eyes on her, I feel as if I’d been starving for this moment for far too long. For its magnificence, I could never find myself sated but would always need more of the joy of experiencing everything she is. Even this much is a tease to me.

My unabashed staring is eventually noticed. She pauses her meal and peers back at me.

“What’s with that look?” She says in good humor.

Then and there, I can feel a strange, weighty gravity vanish as it falls to nothing. A painful burden fading, a burden that feels inexplicably like it had been from a lifetime prior. As if peace has finally taken shelter in my heart.

I say the words that, once upon a time, I’d only wished to say a million times.

“I love you so much, Juna.”

It’s a small moment, only a few seconds, but it all settles in my soul as if I’d found the end to a journey of thousands of years. I feel like I’m melting away as I stare into her eyes.

“I remember… I remember the days when I’d only wished I’d had the courage to say that to you. How many times I’d wondered if I could ever be loved by you.”

“That’s very sudden.” Another little laugh of hers. The sweetest sound. “I love you, Khiron. I always have.”

And in return, something I’ve always loved to hear. Something I would love to hear. It feels too good to be true but it is and I’m here with her. All of my worries for trouble and failure long slain, a greatest victory of my life.

“It’d be a dream to spend eternity with you.”

“You’re going to get me all mushy if you look at me like that and say that.” She diverts her eyes that are glossy with tears. “Thank you… for everything. I couldn’t imagine how I’d have even gotten by if I’d never have met you. I wouldn’t be anything like I am today.”

“I feel the same. I’d have become an even stranger person than I am now. I’d probably be all uptight and hard shelled. Worse than I’ve ever been. I would hardly know the meaning of fun if you hadn’t taken me along to remember what it was like to enjoy life after everything I’d been through.”

“You know… Celine had something amazing to say to me one day.” She places down her fork and places her hands into her lap as she recalls her friend’s words. “She’d told me about how she’d loved you. She’d said it in such a way that I’d never thought before, but it changed how I’d thought about love.”

Her eyes find mine, courageous to send her message as deeply as she can into my heart.

“She’d said to me that she’d loved you so much that she’d only wished that she could one day forget she was herself and have been born as you. That she could have lived as you and have woken up suddenly one day as herself again. That way there wouldn’t be a single bit of distance between the two of you anymore.”

“Celine had said that?”

“I know. What a far cry from so long ago when she was so defensive and distant. But she is a fine actress and it was shocking to discover that was all an act. It felt like a bomb went off when we’d discovered just how deeply she loves. I’d come to understand her and I agree with her. It’d be amazing if that could be true. I would love for it to be true too.”

“That’s a lot to take in so suddenly.” Though I’d moved past being so shaken, I find myself in awe and momentarily returned to my shier self. “Wouldn’t that be amazing. When I would think about it, that would make me so happy. It would be wonderful to stop just being me and… be so much more.”

“I knew that you’d think so. You’re the most loving person I’ve ever known. You love this kingdom and all of its people. You’ve done everything you can for all of us. And you’ve loved all of us. I’m so happy that I’d grown up and stopped being so selfish and insecure. You deserve to be who you are.”

“And you as well. Thank you for everything, Juna. For being who you are. For accepting me and this… sickness I have. I was afraid for nothing and my one regret is the time I’d wasted being so afraid and faithless.”

Breaking the etiquette of the establishment, I take my plate and place it beside hers before moving my chair to sit at her side. With one embrace, one more kiss, we pick up from where we’d left off with our meals.

“I’ll always love you, Juna.”

✩ ✩ ✩

Walking back to the manor from the station we’d been dropped off at, we walk together, hand in hand down the road. And all the while we talk beneath the moonlight.

“I’ve been worried for Neptanie recently.” I confess.

“She’s been sleeping so much more nowadays. I’m sure there’s something we can do for her. We just have to find out what it is. We just have to stay hopeful.”

“You’re right. If there’s something I can do, I’ll do it.”

“Going to be the hero of yet another maiden?” She jests with a little bump against my shoulder.

“You’re all heroines to me as well. I wouldn’t be this person if not for all of your love and care. This much would be the least I could do. I would have never come to make peace with this scar and know that I’m more than it if not for each and every one of you.”

“I’ll never be happy for how much it harms you… but it’s something that makes you beautiful. Not just it, but every scar of yours. I love all of them and I love you.”

“And I love all of yours as well. That little one you have at your side is something I admire when we’re together.”

“Oh, stop it.” She gives me one more playful nudge. “But… a date wouldn’t be complete without a little more time after the events, right?”

“It really wouldn’t.”

“Then let’s spend the night together. You’ll stay with me, won’t you?”

“Of course I will.”

With another burst of joy taking root in my heart, I pick up my pace and lead her along. Like we were when we were so young and careless together.