Chapter 5:

Chapter 05

My crush was secretly the greatest heart surgeon.

Chapter 05

She was the first one to be able to do a slam dunk in our class, and she was the only girl who could do it till this day. Once she got in big trouble with the teachers, she would jump and hold onto the basketball hood and dangle around playfully, putting her feet on the other girls' faces.

One time it broke under her weight, the glass backboard shattered, and she fell on the ground. Everyone who was watching came running to her to see if she was hurt. All the boys sitting on the bench with me ran as fast as they could; they wanted to be the one to save her if she was hurt.

I didn't move a muscle; the only muscle that moved was my struggling heart. A sigh of relief went through all the gymnasium as she said, “If anyone tells me I'm too heavy, I'm going to skin them alive.”

Everyone laughed, including the teacher who was supposed to do his job and be mad at her; he was laughing with her. Smiles. Laughs. Those were the two actions that surrounded Hana Hanazawa.

Hana Hanazawa was the girl who could do anything and she wouldn't get in trouble.

She was the sweetheart.

Our school is very sports-oriented, and she was exceptional at all of them. So much so that I suspected that the school was constantly adding more just to see if she could do it. She was a prodigy. In basketball, she was a magician, able to move her hands so fast that you couldn't tell where the ball was. At softball, she had a railgun for an arm, and her swing was almost bionic. In tennis, it was almost as if she could predict her opponent's path so she could hit the ball in the exact opposite direction. She could run around the huge track ten times, and only on the eleventh lap would she start to lightly pant. Hana was a supernatural creature. It wasn't fair. And then there was me, the pathetic creature who dies if he goes up the stairs too fast. In fact, I remember it was that same day I approached her that I overheard her friends begging her to go to the nationals, to become a professional.

She denied all of them. People on the bench cheered her on as if they were at an actual pro game. People focused on her inhuman stamina; girls trash-talked her because they're jealous; boys whispered and giggled whenever she jumped and her breasts flew all over; when she bent over, they lost their minds and got nosebleeds.

The classmates who are serious about sports surrounded her and complimented her, they asked her questions about her training routine, her diet, her techniques, they put her on a pedestal and worshipped her. But to me...

she looked bored.

* * *

The sound of the rain was so powerful that I couldn't even hear myself think. I could feel it bash and assault me on all sides as the wind pulled at the coat to take it away.

My boots were already filling with water and squishing on every step I took. I could barely see anything, but I knew I was around the tennis courts since I could hear the net flap.

To the gymnasium, I thought.

I want to get to the gymnasium to try playing basketball for the first time, I want to do a slam dunk or a downtown or whatever the hell it's called, just something.

Think about it, if I take the deal of the red pill, it'll essentially mean that the person I am now dies, the person who was never able to play sports or be included in all the fun will die, he will reincarnate as someone who lives far from here, who is natural for him to play basketball.

So what I'm saying is, this is my final chance to get the satisfaction. I tread carefully as I walk across the court and around the corner; there's a river of water escorting from the elevated gymnasium area and into the gutters.

The water is deceptively strong as it almost looks peaceful, but when I put my foot in it, it almost made me fall. Now on the other side, the gymnasium is not too far, just a few more steps.

I will be essentially dying. I will die. The me that is here and that had that heart disease and that has these thoughts will be gone. Everything he learned, everything and everyone he's met will be gone. Will I even be the same person?


Well, there's nothing to be done about it, Hana would've never met me and vice versa, so in my point of view, it would be like she never even existed to begin with. But then again, I wasn't even a big part of her life anyway.

To Hana Hanazawa, I was just another dude who has a crush on her. ‘It's because she was bored’ She was bored. Hanazawa was bored so she accepted my unusual request. And on a level beyond that, she's literally a fallen angel.

I was stopped completely in my tracks. The water ran down the hoodie of the raincoat and past my eyes. I couldn't help but hold my breath at this sight. The sound of the rain completely faded, and my mind went completely empty.


I couldn't breathe or feel my new heart beat. There was some sort of silhouette, shrouded in fog and drenched in the rain. A vertical-looking creature, a person, too tall to be Hana; their shoulders were broad, and I couldn't make out what kind of face it was making, or if it had one even.

There was a thing there.

A person.

A man.

Something that shouldn't be here. I took two steps back and headed back to the main building, without looking back or even making sure I was careful not to slip.

It was almost like my stomach sank.

I speed-walked and couldn't care less if I fell or slipped; I'd even crawl if it meant getting away from it.

At that point, I immediately regretted leaving Hanazawa's side. I could tell you it was because I wanted to protect her, I wanted her to be safe and guard her from the creature, but reality was disappointing.

Far more pathetic.

Instead of acting like a man and protecting the girl, I wanted to hide behind her skirt, to cling to her legs and hide, like when a shy child hides behind their mother when an adult tries to talk to them.



If I had my old heart, I would be having a heart attack right now.

Oh god...

I finally got to the main school building door, a sight I never would've thought I'd be happy to see. I got inside and pushed on the huge glass door and left it shut.


The rain from the outside almost clawing to get inside. The outside was so rainy and foggy that I couldn't see a thing past a few meters. I scrambled so hard to take the raincoat off that my fingers slipped, I even forgot that the damn thing had buttons; it stuck to my sweaty skin like glue, I ripped it off of me and threw it on the ground with a loud wet slosh. I stepped on the backside of my red boots and pulled my wet foot out, and did the same for the other boot.

I'm wet and alone.

Wet and alone.


Wet and alone.


I yelled her name louder.

Did I piss her off when I ran out like that? I need to find her before that creature does anything.

My wet socks were sticking to the ceramic floor, so I took them off and tossed them as I walked past the lobby, up the stairs, and in the hallways. The classroom didn't have any windows on the inside, so I had to open each door to peek inside. Door one, nothing.

Door two, nothing.

Five, six, seven. Nothing.

Why would she be in these rooms? Isn't the first place to look our classroom, where she drew on the board?

I'm not used to panicking like this; one thing that always helped me calm down was breathing very deeply through my nose so I could feel high from the oxygen.

I do just that.

I turn around and go up one more flight and head to our classroom; it's empty except for the drawing Hana had on the whiteboard, my cane, and a glass on the desk at the back of the class, and a pile of clothing on the floor.

Upon closer inspection, it's obvious that they are school clothes, a girl's uniform. I frowned, Is Hanazawa naked?

That's weird, I thought. Everything about her is here; there's even several 100 yen coins in her blazer pockets... and also her bra and underwear.

I stand up and walk to the back of the room to get my cane, and I leave the classroom.

“What the hell is going on?”

Did she disappear? I look out of the corridor window out into the courtyard, in the general direction of the gymnasium, that creature.

“I don't know if it's even there anymore”

Is this a fever dream?

“Hanazawa!!!” I yell her name. “HAAAAANAAAAAZAAAAWAAAA!!!!”







I turn my head slowly behind, my neck even cracks like a rusty door latch as I do.

All my hairs are on end, and I think I want to kill myself. “Who's Hanazawa?”



“Is she another human like you?”


“What a bother.”

And with that... next thing I knew I was flying, until I wasn't.

Authors note:

Please skip this if you don't care.





















To all my loyal and hardcore fans (millions), I would like to apologize for taking so long to release chapters. 

I would love to sit here and tell you that all that time is spent on copious amounts of research, hours and hours of pondering philosophy, and analyzing the books and movies that changed generations. To tell you that all this time I was meticulously crafting an immaculate plot, deep and multifaceted characters, molding and obsessing over every line of dialogue to make sure my novel is absolute peak fiction. 

But reality is more disappointing than that. 

It's pathetic, actually. 

The reality is that all this time, I became addicted to Vtubers. So if you're a ravenous and hardcore fan of mine, please direct all your blame to Pipkin Pippa for being so cute.

Read lots of books, watch lots of classic movies, play lots of older games, go to the gym, eat well and I hope you have a nice day.