Chapter 21:

Biting off more than you can chew

Spice of life [Remake]

Helga trembled in anger on the ground as Rika proudly stood over her. "I hate you! You always piss me off! I'm struggling enough thanks to that asshole thief filming me succumbing to laxatives. Now you humiliate me again!? What gives!?" Helga fumed.

"I just wanted to secure your cooperation for something, that's all," Rika smirked.

"Cooperation!? Oh, so that's why you barged into my place at peak business hours, challenged me to a cook-off with the punishment of "Loser does whatever the winner wants for a day", and then humiliated me in front of my patrons! Is this some shrewd business tactic!?"

"Really? You're saying you Makihara fanatics haven't used shrewd tactics before?"

"What do you want!?"

Rika then went to the back with Helga and told her the details.

"HUH!? You want to use me as a food platter to help that disgrace to the Ryono family catch criminals!? Why would I-"

"So, in that case, how about I shave all your hair off in front of your patrons and turn you into a food platter here?"

"Alright! I'll help as long as I don't have to shave my head!" Helga groaned.

"Good, though we'll probably have to dye your hair, brows, and eyelashes so you aren't recognized."

"Better than shaving it all off at least. I guess if it's to take down N.N., I'll do it. I'll also see if Sundae's game."

"Oh, she already agreed. She actually owes me for something."


"Well, let's just say I completely humiliated her and if she doesn't want me to share the video or tell anyone about it, she'll have to do what I want," Rika sadistically smirked.

"You really are evil."


"So, these are the two you brought with you," Himawari glared as Rika entered the police station with Helga and Sundae.

"What's wrong?" Rika smirked.

"EVERYTHING! Those two are just ordinary chefs and they're assholes!"

"And you're a disgrace. I'm only here because I lost a bet," Helga glared.

"I only came for the clout and acclaim I'll get for vanquishing the taboo chefs," Sundae sneered.

"In that case, you two should pair up. Let Himawari perfect your look and decide what to do with you," Rika smirked.

"You bitch, I'll-"

"Want me to post how much you suck at your own specialty. Bet Makihara will scold you when he finds out how badly you lost. That coupled with your big shit would probably put you close to bankruptcy."

"No... YOU BITCH! I HATE YOU!" Sundae cried.

A big sadistic grin formed on Himawari's face. "If I get to decide what to do with you, then I know exactly how to make sure no one will recognize you," Himawari snickered as she stared at Sundae's multicolored hair.


"Why the hell are you holding a razor!? I thought you said you weren't gonna shave me!" Helga shouted as she laid in a chair clad in a bathrobe.

"It's for everything below the neck. Can't have a hairy food platter," Rika grinned.

"I shave, you ass!"

"Just to make sure, now throw off the robe so I can get to work."


Helga blushed and quickly put her robe back on as soon as Rika was done. "Why're you so flustered? We're both girls you know. Don't tell me you have a crush on me," Rika teased.

"DO NOT!" Helga shouted.

"Just joking. Now let's straighten your hair and dye it black. No one will recognize you."

As Rika dyed Helga's hair, Helga decided to strike up a conversation. "What's the deal with Mimi? Why does she keep calling me Hylda?" Helga asked.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes, you asshole."

Rika then leaned in close and began whispering into Helga's ear. "I guess you bear a striking resemblance to a close friend of hers. She was actually from the 70s but got frozen for 46 years. I guess most of her friends are old or gone. She actually was unfrozen briefly 10 years ago but had to be refrozen after she was injured saving my life. I really do want her to be happy. She seems like she's gone through so much pain. So now your turn. Do you have a mother or grandmother named Hylda?" Rika asked.

"No clue. I was raised by my father's parents. My mother did look similar to me, at least going by old photographs, but I don't remember her, nor was her name was Hylda. My father claimed she was an orphan though, so it's possible my grandmother could have been Hylda. Though being frozen for nearly 50 years... That must explain some of the pain in her eyes, but I feel like that's only the tip of it. That girl looks like she's seen some real shit."

"I know I give you flak, but for Mimi's sake, I'll make sure to get you through this dumb mission."

"Yeah, I'm not feeling very confident. I should have told Makihara-sama about Mondeau."

"That bitch would be pissed if you leaked it, better keep this between me and you if you don't wanna end up bald and in a cell."


Helga looked like a completely different person with her hair dyed black and straightened out. Her eyebrows and eyelashes had also been dyed black further changing up her look.

"Wow, you actually got hotter," Rika mused.

"Shut it! I've always been hot!" Helga glared.

"I didn't think it'd be possible, but I guess you really were able to make her look different," Himawari mused.

"Her eyelashes were a pain to do, but it was probably less painful than plucking them all out. So, where's your victim?"

"Cowering in the bathroom, completely bald," Himawari glared.

"YOU BITCH! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME!" Sundae's voice rang out from the bathroom.

"You're the one that grabbed the razor and ran into the bathroom. I merely ordered you to do it. Now come out before I break down the door. I want to make sure you actually shaved your head."


"Oh, and I'll be covering you in tempura batter for the mission. Hope you enjoy being my dish."

"Looks like I let her have a bit too much of a power trip," Rika thought.

After being given a wig and makeup kit, Sundae finally emerged.

"Wow, what was all the fuss about? You look normal to me," Rika teased.

"You asshole, I'm bald! That bitch made me shave every single strand of hair off my body," Sundae fumed as her face went bright red.

"Guess you shouldn't have been so hard on her back then. Then maybe she'd have been a little nicer," Rika smirked as she pulled off Sundae's wig, revealing she was indeed bald.

"I hate you!" Sundae snarled as she snatched her wig back.

"Alright Rika, now it's our turn. I'll be disguising myself with a disguise kit since my face is too recognizable. I'd advise you to as well," Himawari stated.

"Sure, sounds good. So, you'll provide the disguise, right?" Rika asked.

"Yes. I wouldn't expect a chef to have a disguise kit after all," Himawari glared.

"Anyway, just who are the guys we're gonna be busting aside from N.N.?"

"Aside from N.N., our key targets are Krokow the Canterbury Glutton, the demon queen cult, and any public official we catch."

"Pretty gutsy."

"Oh? Are you familiar with any of these targets?"

"I've heard of the cult on a news blurb. It's the all-female one where all the girls are bald, wear yoga attire, and paint their skin a ghostly pale white, right? Heard they're dangerous and dabble in smuggling."

"Yes, they are quite dangerous. I imagine they will also attempt to scout for new members at this event."

"And why would anyone join them?"

"They have ways. The lollipops they suck are said to be filled with mind controlling nano machines that turns any woman that sucks it into a cultist. Worse, the change is permanent as all the women that are assimilated, never revert to how they were before. The crazed leader of the cult is determined to assimilate as many women as possible into her hivemind harem."

"Then why not just have some guys-"

"In the past, 99% of our men that either disguised themselves as women to try and infiltrate the cult or attempted to raid their lair head on, were sent back to us in the most gruesome ways imaginable. Those women are frighteningly strong despite their appearance. As for the female officers that attempted to confront them, 99% of them were assimilated into the cult. The only way our officers make it back is if they're facing 3 members or less, but even then, it’s a tough battle, and the women we capture usually go insane and die a few days later. We once even attempted a military raid, but somehow everyone escaped before we arrived. It seems they are not unbeatable but are not foolish enough to wage losing battles."

"So that's why no one wants to help. Well thanks for letting me know, I had no idea."

"Yes, of course an ordinary civilian wouldn't. As for Krokow, he's a dangerous cannibal that will eat anything. He even has a mechanical hand due to eating his own hand off as a snack before committing a mass murder."

"Why not just toss bombs in his mouth?"

"Funny thing for a civilian to suggest," Himawari glared.

"I saw it in a game," Rika glared back.

"Anyway, let's get our disguises. The event starts in a few hours."

"Shit, almost slipped up. But Krokow, the cult, Mondeau and who knows who else? This bitch really is a pain in the ass. I'll have to be in top form to take them out. Hope all the backup I requested is able to step up to the plate," Rika thought.

Mario Nakano 64
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