forbitten love

Scary. That's what I thought.

What's scary? It's the fact that I, who have lived as a man all my life, pretended to be a woman and engaged in predatory love, thinking I could find happiness. The fact that I have been so naïve frightens me.

I had always had a thought in the back of my mind that such a lifestyle would inevitably fall apart someday. Yet, I kept turning a blind eye to it. I kept deceiving my gentle partner.

I was not meant to have a family. I should have ended my life unnoticed as a lonely pervert, not bothering anyone. My life alone might have been fine, but I have a daughter. I shouldn't have acted recklessly without being able to take responsibility for her life. It's not just my family; surely, deep scars will be left in my parents' home.

What awaits my daughter and me now? First, a divorce. After that, no matter what blows he deals to me or what social sanctions are imposed, I can't complain. Negative predictions raced through my mind.

"Michelle..."

I had been called Susan for so long that this name sounded surprisingly fresh.

"I can't stop crying."

"Heh?"

I was prepared for some terrifying revelation, so his words caught me off guard. A warm liquid flowed down my cheek. Tears. George's tears.

"I love you. Even knowing you're a man, I just can't hate you."

He embraced my body, which was taller by a head's length, tightly. My chest was squeezed, and it hurt a little. I could feel his tears on my cheek as well.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"The one who's wrong is me. I didn't realize how much you've helped me until now. I never noticed. I've received from you a debt of gratitude and a great love that I can never repay in a lifetime."

"No. The one who was wrong is me, for deceiving you."

He stroked my head as one would comfort a child and kissed my forehead repeatedly. Usually, he would be the one being spoiled and cuddled, but today, it was as if I were the child.