Pride

Just getting a decent single hit on such a large man was a feat worthy of praise, but this wasn’t a mere game of tag. Whether we could escape or not hung in the balance, and I needed to take this guy down so we could get past.

I kept making glances back at my family, using their faces as a reminder of what I was fighting for.

Fighting usually felt like a game of who’s stronger, but I couldn’t match Bear in that regard. The alternative was either keep fighting defensively and chip away at him, or fight dirty. Both of which were going to cost me something. No matter how defensive I was, he’d still be doing damage to me. And if I didn’t play fair, there goes my pride.

Buying myself a few seconds, I threw a question his way.

“Is it true you actually took down a bear?” I managed to breath out.

“It might be. What does it matter now? Think I’ll give you a tip to take me down?”

Going off of what I was seeing right now, I could definitely imagine him taking on such a large creature and winning. But I had a feeling that the fight wasn’t so one-sided.

“That missing eye of yours made me curious.”

He pointed to his eye patch, then grinned like he was faking flattery.

“That’s a story I’ll never forget. Lost it a long time ago. You might have noticed the wound doesn't hold me back much.”

“They say when one of your senses dulls, the others get better,” I commented.

“Yeah, something like that,” he nodded. “But when you're blinded by rage, pride, purpose, all your senses suffer.”

There was an arrogant tone in the way he said that, like he was trying to get me more upset.

“Siberia wasn't a kind place," he continued. "Man and nature were my enemies. If you mess up, you’d be lucky to die. I’ll give you kids one thing…we had freedom, emotions. You all don’t have anything. I’d take those cold wildlands any day over this hell.”

My mind couldn’t picture how his homeland was better than this. But I think deep down, I might have agreed with him. His home was certain death for most people, and I know I’d rather die than go back to the way things were before.

“Listen,” Bear folded his arms. “The fact that you think you stand a chance right now means you’ve already lost. Your anger and pride has pushed you around more than I have.”

Did he really believe that I had much of a choice? I couldn’t give up. Even if he hadn’t warmed up yet, I had to find a way to keep rising back to my feet to throw more punches. One of these times I’ll get him, and it’ll come with a win.

“You want me to give up?” I was ready to spit at him if he thought I would.

“Like hell I do. I’d have thrown you off this building if you were a quitter.”

If he wanted me to keep going, even in a losing battle, he was just toying with me.

“Then how am I supposed to do this? All you’ve told me is how hopeless it is! Yeah, I’m angry, what’s the big deal? I’ve spent my whole life being a toy in the government's game...my father’s game,” I corrected. “Who wouldn’t be angry about that?” I kneeled down and punched the ground. “I want to throw fists, I want to break bones. That’ll be payback for the hell they put me and everyone else through!”

He shook his head, clearly not getting the message.

“You and I are a lot alike,” he claimed. “I got in over my head trying to prove I was the strongest. I swung my fist around like a cheap metal sword, trying to be some hero. When I finally chipped, it cost me an eye.”

He stepped closer to me, then pulled me back up straight.

“Don’t poke the bear, boy. You're not strong enough to kill it alone.”

“Then what? I just stop being angry about life?”

“You can be as angry as you want, but don’t throw your life away trying to be the hero. Be a stone. Stay rooted in place. Take the piss of others without always needing to dish it out. Watch them break as they hopelessly attack you. Then, you strike them down when they're exhausted.”

If I were to take that literally, it meant that I had to be defensive in a fight…but I think he was getting at something more.

Anger and pride are what drove me to always want to bark back at him when he’d crudely order me around. It was my fault I kept getting knocked down. It was a punishment. No matter how much I’d attacked him, verbally or otherwise, he didn’t seem to change his ways or back down.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve been venting my anger. As the punches flew, so did a little of my spirit to keep going. Now I stood here, mentally broken at the idea of keeping on. He’d really defeated me internally. And for what it's worth, physically as well.

“Kitsune, listen to him.” Ekko supported his statement. “Unless you’ve got a good trump card, you're just throwing your life away like this.”

“I agree,” Ko said. “With everything that’s happened here, it’s clear that this fight won’t be won by sheer strength alone.”

Ko and Ekko nodded at each other, then stepped to my side.

“Wait, what are you two doing?” I glared at them in shock. “I thought this was supposed to be my fight.”

“You think you're the only one who’s angry?” Ekko frowned. “Let us take a shot at him too!”

“If you’ve learned a lesson here,” Ko started, “I consider your honour still intact.”

Having the girls fight by my side was like tripling my strength. It also opened new options. With our combined might, we stood a chance.

No matter how much I’ve finally reached Bear’s point, we still had to take him down to get to that helicopter.

I turned to Bear, looking for any signs of dissatisfaction with Ko and Ekko joining the battle…he just gave me a grin.

“Throw whoever you want at me, boy. 3 on 1 seems fair to me.”

His cockiness told me this was what he was waiting for. Too bad it took my ass getting kicked to realize it.