1.3 Shoving His Face Where It Shouldn't Be Shoved

It wasn't until the suns got dangerously close to swallowing the remaining shadows that Akiha said, "Perhaps my instructions were unclear," which was a fancy way of saying no one else had been dumb enough to trust an overdressed guy handing out cryptic pamphlets in the middle of the city. "Before the weather gets any more unple—warm, it might be best for us to seek another place to rest. I'll explain the journey then."

Cérise admitted failure, too. Against all logic, it wasn't a trap, for those were so eager to cover any loophole that they became too rehearsed, too convenient. This... mess... was the work of someone who genuinely believed he'd succeed. As they headed to the city, Cérise walked behind Snail to, for one, get the free shadow and, for two, visually fade away enough for them to forget his presence. This city had walls as thick as paper and the guards had been laughing at them for a while now, so they had no problem entering it.

The moment they walked in, Mish let out a breath; the city's cooling system made it a good ten degrees cooler than its surroundings. Why wear such ornate clothes if she couldn't deal with the consequences? What kind of self-proclaimed warrior pranced around with an ankle-length skirt? Could she make it any more obvious that she was a fraud? She said, "I think the four of us will do."

"No," replied Akiha, a bit too fast, a bit too loud. "Not that I distrust your abilities, but its best to go prepared. Besides, I still have several letters left, and now there's four of us to—"

Cérise said, “I'm not giving those around, if that's what you want."

“—three of us can—”

“I have an image to maintain," informed Mish, like anyone cared. "I can't give those around."

“—two of us—”

Snail mumbled, “I just—”

“—GAAAH!”

“I-I’m sorry!”

Akiha covered his face with his hands for a second, just a second, before regaining his wits. "It's... it's fine. I understand. It's an unorthodox method, but it will make sense in due time."

Somebody followed them.

"What if no one else joins?" Asked Snail.

"I'm sure they will."

"But what if, um. Why not hire mercenaries?"

"Oh, because—"

"No," snapped Mish. "No mercenaries. No. Those who harm others for money will never be heroes." The fact she'd called herself a bounty hunter earlier went unaddressed. "I'm sure he has his reasons."

Somebody had been following them all this while.

Snail scowled at Cérise from the corners of her eyes. He shrugged in response. Her fault for using logic where there was none. Speaking of which, Akiha said, "Yes—yes. Exactly. Let's find somewhere to eat. I'll explain everything."

Somebody followed them and, until further notice, he would act as though he hadn't noticed.

Were it not for Akiha losing his shit earlier and Cérise might've left, but it seemed as though the guy was aware, deep inside, that this whole thing was a joke. It'd all make sense in due time, perhaps. Such was the thread that connected hope and despair.

***

He watched.

He watched from afar.

He watched from afar because he was a coward.

He watched from afar because he was a coward who’d hadn’t gathered the courage to join them in time. Telling them now that he’d been around for hours would be too embarrassing.

Since he was an expert lurker, none of them seemed to notice his presence. None of them seemed particularly powerful, either, but appearances deceived. They had a giant, after all. She seemed to be of the shortest variety (relatively speaking), but a punch from her could easily dent metal at that age. The half-beast with the impractical skirt had printed her face on a lapis lazuli tower earlier, yet hadn't passed out. The white-haired guy who’d handed out the letters looked like royalty. Could it be possible for him to be some sort of lost-long prince who had recently lost his title and now wandered around looking for soldiers to take back what was his own by birthright? Could the threats they were about to face be evil uncles and a totalitarian regime threatening to spread over the world?

If so, Pluie wanted to be a part of that. Really, he did. There was only so much excitement a job as a city guard could give him.

Last but not least, there seemed to be this… guy… using the giant as a walking palm tree. Not only was that rude, but it made him look shady (no pun intended). He'd countered the half-beasts's attack by redirecting the force of her strike, which had led to her losing her balance when landing, which was why he'd so easily dodged and then stamped her against the tower. All of this, with a... sword. When was the last time Pluie had seen anyone use that?

Which led him to the following theory: shady man was also a long-lost prince who had lost his kingdom and thus withered into his current state due to years of slow descent into depression, and who'd joined in hopes he could regain some semblance of his past self before said army headed to reclaim back his land as well.

Pluie could also be a long-lost prince. He still awaited a fancy man at the entrance of his house telling his parents ‘the time has come’ so they'd explain to Pluie that they weren’t his actual parents, but people sworn to protect him until… well, the time came.

The four heroes chose a blessedly populated restaurant, or, well... the prince asked for suggestions, the giant said 'anything was fine', the half-beast pointed at it, and the depressed prince visibly grimaced. Because of this, he stayed by the entrance.

Pluie wished he could say his pulse didn't hasten as he walked past the door. It didn't help how the hobo prince stared at him as he did. Could he possibly have…? No, he couldn’t have noticed Pluie, or else, he would've mentioned it to the rest of the heroes.

Once inside, he sat diagonally to the rest of the group. The giant girl had a special seat to herself. Giant-friendly restaurants were very popular these days. Giant-friendly restaurants who didn’t properly label giant and non-giant bathrooms lost popularity soon. Before the waiter showed up, the prince plopped his palms against the table in a manner Pluie assumed was meant to be gentle. “Excuse me," he said, and Pluie excused him. "It's a shame that Snail's guardian is so reluctant to join. I'll explain to you too for now."

The waiter came to take Pluie's order. He nearly choked Thankfully, the heroes failed to notice his presence. “I-I’ll have a. Uh. Water is fine for now.”

The waiter then moved to the heroes while Pluie looked away—outside. Apparently, the hobo prince had been scaring customers off by virtue of standing next to the door, so at this rate, it wouldn't take long for someone to ask Pluie to shoo him away. He should've ordered alcohol.

"So you can't recruit sellswords because of the deal you made to save your land," said the half-beast. Oh, shit. How much of the explanation had Pluie missed? "That makes sense. Pure, selfless hearts must be the ones to save it."

"...yes. Indeed. To gather noble hearts is part of the trial."

"Trial?"

"Oh, the. The. Um. It's a custom in the north. By any chance, have you heard of what's going on over there?"

Pluie hadn’t.

"Who hasn’t?” Said the half-beast.

Perhaps Pluie just didn't get on with the times as much as his contemporaries. "Oh, great. That'll save us some time." But it wasn't. What did he mean, the north? There were a lot of things in the north. Therefore, there ought to be a lot of things happening in the north. The prince seemed lost in thought then, so perhaps he felt the same way, or he remembered something princely. "...although, if it the news have spread this fast, this far, then it means we have to stop Haku before it's too late."

The giant blinked, frowning, yet didn't ask who that was. Why not?

"Who's Haku?" Asked the half-beast.

(Oh, good.) "My bad. Haku is, in simple terms, the source of the magic anomaly. We attend..." The prince sighed. "Attended the same academy, yet we parted ways when his research took a turn for the worse. By the time I realized what he was doing, it was too late to stop him, and..."

One of the waiters stopped at Pluie’s table. “Excuse me.”

Pluie couldn’t listen to that and pay attention to her at the same time. Either way, he knew what was coming, and he dreaded it. “Yes?” he asked.

“You’re from the city guard, aren't you? I have a favor to ask you."

“The guy at the entrance, right?”

The waitress bit her lip, nodding. She held a menu to her chest, ducked her head just a bit. Pluie used to have the same habit back at the military academy. It kept fellow trainees from stealing his clothes while he bathed or shoving his face where it shouldn’t be shoved. Just now, he had to stop himself from relapsing.

Oh, well. Pluie adjusted the neck of his uniform before heading to the villain.

“Did they tell you to chase me out?”

Pluie jumped. Right. He’d forgotten the hobo prince was right next to the door. Upon stepping away from the door, Pluie adjusted the neck of his uniform, adjusted the piece of string holding his hair, adjusted his sleeves, and then ran out of things to adjust. Among the mass of black hair, he caught a gleam of gold from the hobo's earrings on the upper end of his... well... ear... which Pluie also had. Not ears, the golden hoops. Two of them. This meant, almost certainly, that they came from the same tribe, and thus he could use this as leverage, but when the hobo spoke again, Pluie jumped.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“Y-yes,” Pluie rasped out.

“Hm? Yes what?"

“Yes... the... as a guard of the city of Morr, I... uh, I'm not sure if you noticed, but we... the... how. How much do you want to go away?"

“Oh? Smart.” The hobo held out a hand. “Twenty zuli will be fine.”

Pluie only had nineteen. Drunkards usually asked for a couple. This really was no ordinary hobo. Gulping, he reached down to… “Wait, no. I shouldn’t pay you to move. I’m the authority here, okay? You have to respect me.”

The hobo stared at him, holding out his hand.

“I-I only have nineteen.”

“I’ll accept that.”

“Thanks.”

Pluie sulked all the way back to his table. The hobo moved all right. He walked past Pluie, directly to the table where the rest of the heroes sat. As he approached, they grew quiet. “Snail,” he said. "I'll be at the usual place."

"But..."

But nothing. The hobo who wasn't a prince because their tribe had no princes left. Snail the giant sighed through the nose, but she recovered quickly. "Anyway... what you said doesn't sound too hard. I think we could do it."

Do what?

"I think so too," said the half-beast.

Think what?

"I appreciate it," responded the prince, though his words and expression didn't quite... fit. Pluie couldn't put his finger on it. "Still, it's another thing entirely when confronting him in person. No one in the academy was any match for him, which is why... why I'm here. Ordinary mercenaries will just be corrupted. Only those with a pure heart can enter his lair without falling under his control."

The prince had said something else earlier. Hadn't he? But neither Snail (why was she named that) nor the half-beast pointed this out, so maybe Pluie had misheard. Sooner than later, their meals arrived, and Pluie's lack of nineteen zuli tortured him. The smell tortured him. Not being a pure, brave heart tortured him. Still, by the time the heroes finished eating, Pluie learned that a) the half-beast's name was Mish b) the prince's name was Akiha c) the hobo was Cérise, thus confirming his shared origins with Pluie d) Mish was a certified mage hunter, or so she said. Pluie had never heard of a Princess of the Wandering Sands before.

Pluie still had the letter in hand.

It was as easy as walking there and saying, ‘Hey, I want to join…’

They’d say yes. They were looking for recruits, so they’d say yes. It was easy. He had no reason not to. It was easy. How could a giant have so little appetite? She barely ate from her plate. Pluie stared at it longingly until they finally set off to leave. For some reason, Snail divided the leftovers in half; she seemed to have a compartment to take them with, too.

“Could you wait for me outside, please?” She told Akiha and Mish, “I’ll—I have to go to the bathroom.”

Off they went.

Off, off they went.

There went his chance.

All was lost.

Snail came back, stopping next to Pluie. She said, “Hi.”

This spooked him. He glanced at her, defeated. “Hi?”

She placed the compartment on top of his table. “Here.” He squinted at it. “You just… you looked hungry. Yeah. I’msorrygoodbye.”

After scarfing down his meal, Pluie resumed the stalking.