1.4 Unholy Alcohol Consumption During Early Afternoon

Two-Rabbit was a simple beastman. He sensed problems approaching, he died. It used to work more back when he was young and on his second or third life. Now he was on his eighth, things were different. Don't do it, you idiot, his wife would say. So he left her.

What none of them knew was just how tiring it was to have to die nine times before the final bell tolled. Why nine? Why did feline half-beasts have four point five, anyway?

Two-Rabbit yawned.

Too early. They'd been summoned too early, and he'd been the only one to actually be there on time, if only by habit. While the sand went from blue to yellow to pink, the wind awoke; at the far edge of the city, what little water was there came to life. Not that there had ever been much of it to begin with, but that's why water mages existed. Why leave nature alone when you could just fuck around with it until it inevitably backfired? He'd take a carriage over a steam train any day.

The boy who’d handed him the letter yesterday wasn’t showing up. None of them were. He hadn’t expected many people in the first place, but this was… this was shameful. Could the boy have become so disillusioned that he’d given up entirely?

Two-Rabbit waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Around noon, as he readied to depart, he noticed that the sign of the tower standing before him said 7, not 1.

“Ah.”

***

Cérise was a simple man. He sensed problems approaching, he drank.

Assuming his hypothesis were to be correct, Akiha's scheme ran on hope and despair. While knowing it wouldn't work, he hoped it would. Naturally, Snail would latch onto it. She was the same. It'd be near impossible to talk her out of it, and besides... why should he? Hadn't he been trying to get rid of her for years? Wouldn't it be better to leave her with those two, whichever other fools they managed to recruit, and then...

And then...?

And then they might die if he left them alone, or...

***

While Snail went to retrieve Cérise, Mish and Akiha went back to the towers—just in case they'd missed someone. She doubted it, but to say so out loud would be mean.

Cérise's 'the usual' meant her having to duck her way into increasingly narrower pathways, and as such, increasingly more suspicious people. The grandiose main streets of Morr soon gave place to mud houses whose paint had begun to chip off, markets where fruit wasn't quite as bright, jewelry not quite as luxurious; with time, these disappeared entirely.

"Hey, look! It's the giant girl again."

"Hello, beautiful."

"She's ignoring you, look. You have to approach her."

Snail had her hand on the hilt of her dagger. If it helped, people lying wasted against the walls meant she was close to 'the usual' tavern. Just a couple more hallways and she'd be there. Just a couple more hallways and she'd be there.

"Hey—"

Somebody grazed her arm, and she yelped, leaping so hard she tripped on a box and fell. (Some hallways were not meant for giants). The group of drunkards cackled until a third party shut them up. When Snail looked up, said third party startled her, too. "Y-you guys," began the little guard from the restaurant. "Stop it, okay? You're being mean."

What was he doing here?

The drunkards seemed to find this even more hilarious. While they screeched, Snail used the wall to stand up. "I-I'm warning you, okay? Lying drunk on the street is only legal for two past midday onwards. You're—" he checked his pocketwatch, "—twenty-three minutes too early for it and I, as part of the city guard, could—" one of the drunkards tossed what used to be a banana peel (two weeks ago) at him, and he squealed.

Snail touched his shoulder, which also made him squeal. "It's okay," she told him. "They're harmless."

"T-they are? But they... they almost..."

"They're too drunk to do anything too bad. It's okay. They wouldn't do anything to me anyway."

The guard squinted at her. Why did he do that so often? Could he read her mind that way? As far as she was concerned, that happened to be much more illegal than alcohol consumption during early afternoon. Freedom of thought and all of that. Finally, the guard mumbled, "Okay," and then, "Okay," whereupon he turned back to the drunkards. "Okay! Just this once, I'll let you g—pleasedon'tthrowthatatme."

Snail ended up taking his hand. Regardless of what she'd come for in the first place, leaving him behind like that just... she couldn't. For whichever reason, they'd happened to be at the same place at the same time twice within the same day. It ought to mean something. If it didn't, at least she'd save another poor fool who'd naively decided to do urban tourism. "C'mere," she told him. Before she said yes or no, she dragged him.

"OwowowOW—"

She released him. "Mr. Guard? So, um. We're going to pick up a friend, okay? Just... stay close. Don't go inside. Please. Also, don't talk to him."

The guard nodded frantically. Like most guys these days, his brown hair had been pulled into a low ponytail, with a few strands loose at the side. She kind of wished she could grow her hair enough to tie it up. Then again, she also wished she weren't green, hair included. "What kind of person gets drunk at one past midday?" Asked the guard.

"Maybe they just like drinking a lot."

"Why did they like to start drinking a lot, though?"

"Because they like the flavor?"

"Are you sure?"

That made her stop. They were one curb away, but she stopped nonetheless. "What do you mean?"

He flinched like she'd just threatened him. "No, I—"

"No, I didn't mean it that way I—"

"Oh, okay. It's just. You forget about things when you drink enough. Who you are, who you were. Just for a little bit. But then when you remember you just want to forget again. At least that's I've heard them say."

Snail didn't realize she stared until the guard until he began shrinking again, after which he apologized, told him to keep walking, and walked.

Pubs of the sort usually prohibited the entrance to kids out of moral obligation; with time, she had become one of the exceptions. "Wait here," she told the guard. He nodded. If she didn't hurry up, someone could hurt him.

'What kind of person gets drunk at midday?'

Suddenly all those wives and kids and friends coming to pick loved ones up seemed a lot sadder. Not Snail, though.

Cérise lay his head on crossed arms at the usual booth. Before she could shake him away, he hissed, "Fuck."

Snail recoiled. "Sorry. We have to go back with—"

"I know." He uncurled, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand.

He'd been surrounded by six empty cups. "Cér? Can you walk?"

"Mhm." He shooed her to the side as he staggered outside. Since she knew better than to help him, he just followed along. The bartender just happened to be kicking somebody out as they exited. He greeted Snail, Snail greeted him. That cheered her up a bit.

The brown-haired guard was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh," she mumbled. As they walked past the other drunkards, she asked, "Hey, you guys remember the guy I was with before? The guard?" Or did they drink to forget others, too?

"Oh, the kid? He ran away screaming."

"What, why?"

"Dunno. Cérise, hey! When will you lend her to me? She's old enough already, right! Hey!"

Snail caught up to him quickly. He ignored the guys, so she ignored them, too. It'd be nice to tell Cérise remarks of the sort bothered her so he'd beat them up, but she kind of felt bad for the drunkards.

As much as she looked, she couldn't spot the guard anywhere. He'd run away screaming, they said. At least he hadn't gotten hurt. At least he'd given her company for a while.

If she thought about it, though, wouldn't Akiha and Mish give her company as well? Wouldn't she give company to them, too? She knew better than to believe she was something to Cérise, but they'd do. Mish seemed nice. She called Snail 'sweetie'. Akiha had paid for her at the restaurant, which reminded her. "Cér?" No response. "I got lunch for you."

"Not hungry."

She sure was. One-third of a human portion didn't do her much. "It's okay. I can save it for later."

"I'll get you dinner later."

"No, I meant for y..."

He scowled at her. "No, you idiot. Who needs it more? You or me?"

"But—"

He walked ahead. She caught up quickly. She got it.

She got it.