Yuki vs. The Scam

Yuki out here munchin' on her last piece of takoyaki like she on some mukbang grind, and she hits the camera with this line: "Bonus points if they're royalty." Bruh, she's wildin', throwin' up a salute like she in a whole TikTok challenge or somethin'. She's all like, "Stay classy, and remember—don't fight your battles when you can turn 'em into entertainment for the masses." Straight facts, I ain't even gon' lie!
Now here's the tea: The tension in the square? Bro, it's so thick you could cut it with a butter knife—or better yet, Yuki's blunt takoyaki stick. And then Prince Gabrielle, my man's standin' there like a whole walking Instagram filter, all shiny and princely. He hits the old dude with the classic hero line, like, "Arrest this man for trying to turn Yuki into a street kebab!" I mean, man got the ASSAULT, public drunk, and violence against a woman. Bro hit the whole medieval bingo, no cap.
But WAIT, it gets worse. Old man ain't goin' down easy. Dude throws out a last-minute Hail Mary, pointing at Yuki like it's an episode of Judge Judy, talkin' 'bout, "She stole my money! That's why she was eating all that takoyaki!"
AND THEN THE CROWD—BRO. They gaspin' like somebody just dropped spoilers for the next season of Attack on Titan! Even Prince Gabrielle had a lil' twitch in his eyebrow, and you KNOW that man wakes up lookin' like he ready to drop a mixtape.
Yuki, though? She hit 'em with that straight DEADPAN, like, "Really? That's your defense? I stole your Monopoly money for some street food?" She lookin' at her takoyaki like, "Bro, I ain't gonna lie, this greasy snack ain't worth doin' time over. Chill out."
But get this—the crowd starts lookin' at Yuki SUS, bro. They lowkey buyin' into the old man's BS, and Yuki can feel the Karen-energy risin'. You know the vibe.
Prince Gabrielle, always tryna make a scene, raises his hand like he's about to drop the "OBJECTION!" from Phoenix Wright. He's like, "Enough. We're settlin' this NOW." Man's lookin' at the old dude, giving him the type of stare that could reboot your whole Wi-Fi connection. "You claim the pouch this woman carries belongs to you?"
Old man start gettin' hype, thinkin' he about to pull a fast one. "Yes, Your Highness! She took it!"
Yuki's DONE, bruh. She rubbin' her temples like, "Ayo, is THIS really happening? This the best y'all could come up with? Bro, at least make me a secret agent or somethin'. Gimme a cool backstory. This weak as hell."
But Gabrielle ain't playin'. He ignores her, still locked in on the old dude. "Aight, bet. Tell me what's inside the pouch—without lookin'."
The old man FREEZES, bruh. Like, his brain straight-up blue-screening. You can almost hear Windows XP tryna reboot in the background. He stutters out, "Uh…coins, duh. It's full of coins."
Gabrielle arches his eyebrow, feelin' cocky now. "Yeah, we all KNOW it's coins. What kind, though? If you're legit, this should be a piece of cake."
Yuki's out here LOVING this. She turns to her invisible Twitch chat, all hype. "Yooo, y'all see this? This like one of them daytime court shows, but with swords! Somebody pass me the popcorn, this 'bout to be GOOD."
The old dude starts sweatin' bullets, lookin' like he just caught a lag spike mid-fight. "Silver! It's full of silver coins!"
Yuki SNORTS, arms crossed like she's about to roast this man on stream. "Silver? Dude, it's 2024. Who even uses silver coins anymore? What you gonna do, accuse me of using dial-up next?"
Gabrielle lookin' pleased with himself now, turns to Yuki with that smirk, like, "Aight, Yuki, what's in the pouch?"
Yuki flips her hair all dramatic, ready to flex. "Platinum, baby. My pouch is STACKED with platinum coins, 'cause that's how I roll. What, y'all thought I was out here broke? Nah, I like my takoyaki with a side of 'I'm richer than you.'" She hits the crowd with a wink. "Some of us just got that expensive taste, y'know what I'm sayin'?"
And BOOM, another wave of gasps hits the crowd, like they just found out Santa Claus ain't real. Platinum coins? That's like bedtime story material to these people, man. They out here wonderin' if Gabrielle's 'bout to drop to one knee and propose with all this drama poppin' off. Crazy, bruh.