Platinum Plot Armor: Yuki’s Royal Roast

Ayo, lemme tell y'all what went DOWN, man! So, Prince Gabrielle, all serious and royal lookin', steps up to this old dude who's sweating buckets, like for real, dripping like he just ran laps in a desert or something! Gabrielle hits him with that smooth-as-hell line, "Hand over the pouch." Yo, I swear, his voice was smoother than when you tryna slide into someone's DMs. I ain't even playin'! Man sounded like he was about to offer me a whole Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks or somethin'.

The old dude's fumbling the pouch like he just lost his password to his crypto wallet, hands shaking like he's tryna disarm a bomb in a movie, bro! Gabrielle opens it up, and BOOM, platinum coins shining like they just got minted yesterday! And y'all already know the crowd be wildin'—they jaws hit the ground faster than when you see your crush liking your best friend's pic! Straight GAWN, bro!

And then my boy Gabrielle, with that I'm-the-prince-and-you-not-energy, says, "As y'all can see, these coins are platinum, my guy. Yuki ain't cappin', she's spitting facts."

Now Yuki—HA! She's out here, hyped as hell, starts clappin' like she just saw someone break a world record or somethin'! "OH SHOOT! PLOT TWIST! WHO SAW THAT COMIN'? Plot armor for the WIN!" And then she turns to Gabrielle, with that goofy-ass grin, and she's like, "Yo, next time we need some explosions, bro! Like, I'm talkin' slo-mo doves flyin' by!" Bro, I was CRYING at this point.

But **Gabrielle—**y'all know he too serious for the jokes, like, dude got no chill whatsoever! He's over here lookin' at Gramps, who by now lookin' like a melted ice cream cone in the summer heat, straight up. Gabrielle hit him with that cold stare and said, "You been caught, my guy. Guards, take him AWAY." Like, DAMN, no mercy, bro! No second chances. Old dude's face was in shambles, for REAL!

The guards roll out, dragging Gramps off, and Yuki throws up a lazy salute, like she's playing Call of Duty on low sensitivity or some sh—. "Better luck next time, Gramps! Shoulda known not to mess with the protagonist. I got plot armor harder than your weak-ass accusations, bruh!" Like, bro, she got NO CHILL, I'm telling y'all.

The crowd starts breaking up, but Yuki, being the troll that she is, turns to the imaginary camera like she's live on Twitch, and goes, "AIGHT, FAM, that's today's lesson: When you got a Karen—or in this case, Grandpa Discount—just sit back, relax, drop some sarcastic lines, and let 'em dig their own grave, man. It's like, passive entertainment, for REAL! Y'all should try it sometime."

Then she hits us with that legendary move—throws a takoyaki ball straight into her mouth like she's flexing on 'em. "Maybe next time I'll steal his wallet too, just for the MEMES! HAHA!"

But hold up, Old dude ain't done yet! He tries one last time, throwin' out some weak-ass argument like, "She musta stole them coins from somebody else! Ain't no way someone like her got that much platinum!" Bruh, dude was grasping at air, I ain't even lyin'.

And Yuki? Not even bothered, just shrugs like, "Bruh, maybe I'm built different, huh? Ever think of that?"

AIGHT, END OF STORY. Subscribe or Add this to your Bookmarks for more chaotic energy! Let's get it!