The Magic Research Club Presents: "The Chunibyo Swing"

Chunibyos – they deserved no further explanation. All they did was act like idiots while dressed in cringe-worthy clothes. The Magic Research Club used to be filled with such reasonable people. How far they’ve fallen. 

““““Hey there!”””” “Demon’s Right Hand! Why have you defiled the Holy Site?!” a girl with bandages wrapped around her face sang. She struck a pose that could only be found in the absurdities of social media. Wait, sang? Why is she singing?

““““Hey there!”””” “Are you here to reclaim the Dark Lord trapped within?” a man in a leather jumpsuit caroled with a bow. Seriously, is there a musical going on? I was more confused than anything, but I chose not to think about it. My arm ached as I picked myself up; it was probably broken. Another potion from Asa should do the trick, if I could find which classroom was hers. Kind of difficult when they all looked the same.

““““Hey there!”””” ““Did you think we would let you run?”” Two members circled behind, surrounding me on all sides. I didn’t like where this was headed. Couldn’t we have one, just one, normal club at this academy?

““““Our Lord commands us, to take you in-si-de.”””” Yeah, no thank you. Time to get–

Boom boom boom da-boom da-boom boom–

The cassette tape sitting in my pumpkin started to play music again – a sort of swing you would hear in a theater show. The chunibyos started dancing in sync to the rhythm, striking the most ridiculous moves. So, it’s your fault! This was something I never wanted to see in my lifetime.

The sounds of the drums grew louder as brass instruments played a transition into the chorus. The mana in the area increased in tandem – spells were being cast. I wasn’t going to stick around to find out what.

“Dispel–” Huh? Why am I singing too?!? Stupid cassette tape! You’re just as annoying as the bucket–oh. I got distracted, losing the precious seconds I needed to dispel the incoming barrage.

Time to run.

““““Fireball! Fireball! Come out and play.”””” I ran to the left, trying to get out of the line of fire.

““““Earth Wall! Earth Wall! You’re not gettin’ away.”””” Walls shot up out of the ground, obstructing my path. I made the split second decision to jump to the side. The fireball lightly singed the hairs on my head.

““““Chaos! Chaos! Let it come down and rainnnnnnnnn–

““““–at the Hal-lo-ween Fes-ti-val.””””

The beat dropped as a chill went down my spine. I rolled to the left, only to see a fireball pass by a moment later. They were tracking shots?!? I couldn’t speak; the spells kept the pressure on, never letting up for a second. The most I managed to do was scramble around, focusing on not getting hit. Breaking through the encirclement was a no-go too. The casters nimbly danced around the edge, forcing me back with swinging swords.

Technically, I still had something to escape, but it was a terrible idea: using disenchanting magic without specifying a target. With the lag, I should have barely enough time to eke it out, but that might devolve the situation even further. After all, if I didn’t specify a target, it would just dispel all mana. Who knew what other spells were active? But my chances were slowly getting worse.

““““Wind Edge! Wind Edge! Stop that man.”””” More tracking spells were fired, staggering themselves as they flew towards me. Ah, screw it!

““““Water Shot! Water Shot! Demon’s Right Hand.”””” I spun to the side and raised my hand to the sky.

““““Chaos! Chaos! Let it come down and rainnnnnnnnn–

“[Disenchant]!”

…

…

…

It seems like it worked. My legs gave out as the spells popped out of existence. I used too much mana; labored breaths created a stabbing sensation in my lungs.

“AAAAAHHHHH!” one of the members screamed. “What in the world am I wearing?!?!?” She tried to cover her exposed body, but her arms barely did anything.

“Who cast that inhibition spell??? We’re banning it forever!” Huh, so they were reasonable people then. Not that I cared. Spells like that should burn in a hole.

“Why are these bandages wet…” another member muttered, collapsing with a dead look in his eyes.

Whatever, it’s over now. Let’s get out of–huh? I started to float off the ground. It wasn’t just me either – every person and object started rising, being pulled upwards. The nearby classrooms slotted out of their spot in the cone, zipping around in the air. The entire academy was rearranging itself, and we were caught in the middle.

…shit.