If You Cannot Have My Body Take My Head

As he looked upon the Droid hanging limply above him, the first thought that entered Avery's mind was the idea of monotheism. Such archaic practices as believing in magical sky people died out thousands of years ago, when humanity truly embarked into the infinite everything that was the universe.

They occasionally named things like the Stations after deities. Those were mainly aesthetic choices on the part of their romantically inclined creators. Everyone understood it was things like that which kept humanity tethered to Earth for far longer than they should have been.

Even Lugus hadn’t retreated that far back and half of them struggled with the idea of a radio being in their home.

Still, he couldn’t deny the majesty of it. He quietly contemplated his next move.

“You don’t have a mouth. How are we speaking?”

“I’m afraid I do not know. The man did not respond to me when I tried to speak to him. Other than expletives, which I shall not repeat in front of a child.”

I’m not a—look, don’t worry about it. Did he hurt you?”

“He did not. I cannot feel any pain. I am, however, in extreme emotional discomfort, hence why I asked for help. Though quite why you responded is curious.”

Avery scoffed. “Thanks a lot.”

“That is not what I mean. I have no mouth, as you have stated. It therefore stands to reason that we should not be able to converse, yet here you are. I cannot identify the reason without assistance.”

“Assistance? From where?”

“I cannot say.”

Avery backed away and shone his torch at the machine. Using the light to find his way, he found a screwdriver from an open tool belt at his foot and held it point first. “No, no way. This is a trick. You’re not telling me anything because you’re trying to manipulate me. Pretending to have amnesia is like trick one in the ‘I’m trying to catch someone off guard’ playbook. And what happened to you begging for your life?”

“Ah, I must confess, that was a ruse of sorts.”

“Of sorts? There's no of sorts about it, a trick is a trick.”

“I do not believe that to be so. And if it was, I did not intend it to be malicious.”

Avery felt his brain fuzz. He felt stupid. This was just a regular, normal conversation. He didn't understand one thing, and now he wanted to curl up into a ball. “I don’t understand.”

“Humans tend to want to assist people when they are in distress. Of course, this isn’t always the case. I have listened to your interactions with your Father, your friend Dorian Coleridge Pepper and other members of the hamlet you call Greenhaven. As such, I deemed that sounding meek and pathetic would be the best way to gain your aid. Rest assured, it was not intentional, it is just how I was programmed.

“Programmed?”

“Indeed.” Some kind of picture made of light shone from the Robot’s chest. Avery scanned the blue screen. Silver text darted across it. First in a language he didn’t understand, then in Lugish. Mesmerised, he quietly read it aloud.

“Model Number GX0985. In service of Carwyn Leopald Utrecht. Main designated Function: Transportation. Last Contact: 28th September 4122 AD - Reported missing: 1st October 4122 AD - Watch Level: Green… I literally have no idea what any of this means. I mean, I know about Anno Domini, kind of. How long have you been missing?”

“I do not know. I have searched through my core, and this is the only data I could retrieve. I am sorry, but I cannot provide any additional information at this time.”

Avery cursed his luck. Had Dorian been here with him, he could translate all this stuff. Granted, he could tell him about what he had discovered as soon as tomorrow, but there were so many things he needed to consider first. Looking at the tangled mess of rope and wire the robot was tangled up in. He was sure that he wasn’t going to be able to pull him out. Maybe his Dad was right, maybe he should’ve picked up a sport or something.

“Stupid Avery, bad dumb Avery.” He realised he shouldn't be thinking about himself at a time like this. Yet, it seemed this machine’s very existence was forcing him to confront things, however simple, that made him uncomfortable.

“You do not wish to be like your Father? Is it because he is violent?”

Avery jumped back again. The Droid had gained enough trust with him such that he didn't raise his weapon a second time. He chastised himself for not remembering to be alert around a machine. “G-Get out of my head.”

“I did not mean to listen to your thoughts. As I have said before, this is an accidental phenomenon I cannot understand on my own. I do notice, however, that you stutter when you're emotionally distressed. What is the reason for this?”

“No! Get out of my head! That's the one place that's mine, and I'm not going to let you have it!”

The reaction was irrational. Avery knew that. He also knew that he had an opportunity to potentially gain the trust of somebody who wasn't going to be judgmental, Dorian aside. He knew It wasn't like his dad, or his teachers or children in the neighbourhood that tried to manipulate him. It was different.

But that's not what it felt like.

“Try not to do that again, please. Humans don’t like it when you ask questions after reading their minds.”

“Your reaction gave that away, yes. I will endeavour not to do that in the future. Does it put you under emotional distress?”

“Yes, a lot. Actually, if I remember correctly, you said that you were in emotional distress too, which is why you reached out to me. I think it's only fair for me to return the question. Why are you in emotional distress and can I help? If so, how?”

“I cannot say.”

Oh, come on! We've got to help each other out here. You can't hang here forever. You obviously have somewhere you need to be. I'll tell you what, if you let me help you, then I'll mentally prepare myself and you can ask me all of the awkward questions you like. Does that seem fair?

The Droid was silent. The light crafted face rapidly changed shape from a square to a circle to a shape Avery had never seen before. Musical beeping accompanied this, reminding Avery of the Greenhaven Orchestra concerts he would watch with his Mother.

He quickly pushed the thought out of his head while It was distracted. It was better for both of them that it didn’t even begin to go down that line of questioning.

“I have concluded my assessment. Based on our conversation and the peculiar situation we found ourselves in, I have deemed it safe, on the balance of probability, to provide you with some details of my existence.”

Avery raised an eyebrow. “Only some?”

“You must understand. It is not simply myself that I have to consider. There may be others.

“Others? There are other Droids on Lugus?”

“I do not know. As I have stated before, I am in emotional discomfort. I feel a sense of… Longing but, as of yet, I do not know what for.”

“It obviously isn’t being caged in here like an animal.”

“Indeed. We are going to have to find a method of removing me from my restraints. As it stands, I do not believe that you are strong enough to remove all of the scrap material that makes up my prison.”

It didn't need to be that harsh about it. “So, how do we get you down?”

The Robot did its face changing thinking thing for a few seconds. “Can you climb up here?”

“Theres a ladder right there. It’s quite high but I think I can make it. What’s that going to accomplish?”

“Emergency Transport Protocol 26: If a Union Transportation Droid is rendered inoperable and contains information vital to the employees’ current circumstance. Permission shall be granted to detach the main computer to preserve vital client information.”

“So…”

“If you cannot have my body, take my head.”

Avery’s face turned a pale white. You want me to behead you!?”

“I personally wouldn’t be so emotional about the situation, Avery. Unlike humans, we Droids can survive as long as our head remains intact. I will be fine.”

“Yeah but…”

“The alternative as it stands is that you don't get me down. Your father notices eventually that you are in his gym and you get disciplined rather harshly. I would recommend that you get rid of your human centric notions of harm in order to help us both get out of this situation relatively unscathed.”

“I…can’t really argue with that.”

Avery poked and pushed and prodded his Father's haphazardly placed gym equipment out of the way. Taking time every few seconds to glance back at the Droid, he wondered if things like this would truly be for him. Surely it should've been Dorian that discovered it? He would have all the answers to these questions, he would enjoy the moral complexity of it all.

Despite everything that had happened this evening, Avery still wanted nothing more than to be left alone in his solitude. He knew he couldn't have that though, not while someone, or something, was in trouble.

He sighed heavily.

Climbing the ladder and retrieving its head was a simple task. His dad had gone to great lengths to restrain it. Even so, he left the head completely untouched. Avery assumed it was down to his inexperience with anything past a certain technological level. Surely if he is in charge of security, as unlikely as it is, he would've had some training in dealing with these things. Especially if, as made  apparent by his encounter this evening, there may be more of them.

Either way, he knew his dad would notice the head missing from the machine. At its instruction, Avery lit a fire in the space where its head used to be. This, it said, would simulate a major mechanical fault and therefore remove most of the suspicion from Avery. If he could get out quietly.

“What do we do now?”

“I assumed, based on the conversations we have had, that you wanted to be more of an independent thinker.”

“Wow, low blow. I was just trying to include you, seeing as we’re kind of in this together now.”

“That is true. I recommend speaking to Dorian Pepper as soon as possible. Based on an analysis of your living arrangements. He appears to be the only person who may be able to offer insight into both of our predicaments.”

Avery winced. He liked Dorian a lot, and he certainly considered him his best friend. He wasn't sure if he could really trust him to keep this under control. Any degree of his normal above enthusiastic excitement when it came to all things Union would really jeopardise everyone. “Are you sure? You know what Dorian is like, right? The second they show him to you. He's probably going to have a brain aneurysm and die and then there would've been no point in telling him, anyway.”

“I am aware that he is excitable. I am trusting you to keep him under control. Doing so is vital to the success of our task.”

A bubble of excitement formed in Avery's chest. It trusted him. No one had ever done that before. He had always been somebody who relies on others, not someone who is relied upon. The thought made him giddy, and he wondered if this was how Dorian felt all the time.

“I understand,” he said with excitement as he rose to his feet with a skip. “if that is my mission, then I will do my best to complete it! Let's go, uh…What do I call you? You don't have a name.”

“Of course not. Machines have no need for names.”

“But I have to call you something. Just choose something for me.”

“My model number begins with GX. You can call me Gee.”

“A little on the nose, but nice to meet you Gee. Don't worry, I'll take you to Dorian in the morning.”

“Excellent, but have you figured out how you're going to manoeuvre through all of this mess quietly without getting caught?”

“No Gee, no I have not.”